An ode to Stephen A. Smith

Today is Stephen A. Smith's last day at ESPN. According to USA Today, Smith says it made him offers in recent months "for an additional year or two" which he says he turned down before ESPN said simply that it was not renewing his contract. He says he won't look for new work until his contract ends, when he hopes he'll face "a plethora of opportunities."

I recall fondly when my eardrums were first startled by Stephen A. It was on the insufferable NBA Tonight or whatever it was called back in the day featuring the already checked out Kevin Frazier and some other guys I can't remember. But that was the thing. Stephen stood out. He had shine from the jump. Not just because he was louder than Billy Mays promoting Orange-Glo, but because he knew his basketball (and sports in general, to be clear). And he was passionate. I could never hate on somebody who was just genuinely enthused to give his fellow sports fans informed analysis. Sure, my eardrums wanted him to shut the fuck up, but I never stopped listening. He always had something to say that was worth listening to. That's why I wanted him to stop yelling. It just wasn't necessary. His knowledge reverberated without the volume. But during the golden age of ESPN, you had to be loud to be heard over the likes of Sean Salisbury and Michael Irvin. Closed mouths don't get fed and it was survival of the loudest at ESPN.

Stephen always had his critics. NY Post columnist Phil Mushnick recently called "a self-promoting, race-based gasbag". In tribute, I presume. Mushnick claims Smith "was just dumped for being a self-promoting, self-aggrandizing, self-congratulatory, race-hustling, blowhard and sports know-nothing." Ironically, only a know-nothing would call Stephen A. a know-nothing. And Stephen A. has never been a race baiter. Instead he is open and proud about being a representative of a particular demographic. Smith's agenda was never a secret. I always found that honesty refreshing, you know, because I'm always willing to listen to different perspectives. And I definitely preferred Stephen A.'s alleged propaganda in contrast to the cornucopia of closeted racists that litter the ESPN stage and the at-large mainstream sports media.

It's too bad that ESPN is getting rid of all its edgier personalities. The channel is so bland now, I even miss Sean Salisbury. ESPN enraged and annoyed me oftentimes, but it at least it entertained me. Now there's very little must see programming on the channel and is barely informative beyond news I could get from the Associated Press. Smith was one of ESPN's last remaining true "personalities" and Smith's departure from the channel is an event worth marking. Stephen A. certainly left an impression. Not many job changes are evidenced by a column in USA Today, a jealous rant in the NY Post and numerous mentions around the blogosphere.

As Stephen A. moves on from ESPN, he reflects that "'finally people notice I don't scream nearly as much as I used to.' (That resulted from his mother Janet forcefully asking him to 'explain why you have to be so loud.')" Stop lying, bruh. You are still loud as hell. I have been startled many a morning since he started screaming at Skip Bayless on First Take. Nevertheless, Stephen A. has undoubtedly inspired rage, respect and comedy gold amongst his audience, often all at the same times. He's a bit triangle-headed and more than a bit loud, but I always respected and enjoyed Stephen A. Smith, even when it was too early in the morning for him to be yelling like that. I don't mean to eulogize like the brother is dead. He will be resurrected in a new and hopefully better venue. And I look forward to his next venture (fingers crossed for the TNT Inside the NBA desk). I'm sure he'll holla at us when he's ready for us to listen up again.

Fashion Round Up - Holiday Finery

Your favorite sports heroes were feeling particularly swaggerific for the holidays. And as 2008 closes, it's important to feel thankful for all the fashion blessings of the year passed. And let me offer tremendous gratitude to the man that inspired the reappearance of the world renowned Fashion Round-Up... the one and only Gilbert Arenas. And he's wearing an ascot! And he's serious!



I think Gilbert actually pulls this ascot off. It's so outrageous, it's fantastic! The key to pulling off any ridiculous element like an ascot is to keep the rest of the ensemble understated. And Gilbert does just that, pairing his unique snowflake patterned neck wear with a well tailored blue pinstriped suit. Honestly, Gilbert makes me swoon. I was so enthralled by Gil's ascot, I almost didn't notice Craig Sager's snowman tie. Almost. Sager rises every morning to defile the fashion gods of Brioni, Versace or whoever else he's wearing. You wouldn't believe it, but he spends a lot of money on his clothes.

It wouldn't be Christmas without a tacky sweater and let me present our model - Jared Allen.



Jared got his mullet all lined up and put on his finest holiday knitwear for an interview on the NFL Network. Yep, that's one of the toughest men in the NFL

Jillian Reynolds sports fuchsia ruffles and tights for the holidays.



And her shoes are only slightly stripperish. Tights and semi-dignified shoes? Jillian is not known for such restraint. Her priest must have been in the studio.

Pam Oliver chases the dragon.



Was it a good idea, Pam? I think you can do better.

Deion is a shell of his former fashion self since his nemesis, Michael Irvin, went off the air. But he makes an acceptable attempt to flaunt his holiday best with red pinstripes.



Tony Romo wears black in mourning of his promise as a strong leader and winning quarterback. That dream is dead now.



He should just save his sporty hat money and wear paper bags so he can cover his face in shame.

Is it just me, or does Stuart Scott have the testicular fortitude to sneak a fauxhawk past his employer?



He's supposed to be a professional!

Lebron got new shoes for Christmas (and a backscratcher).



Ugly. There's no denying it.

And Bryant Gumbel went green for the holiday sporting a Chia Pet haute couture original. His jacket is growing? Or sprouting maybe??? Or screaming, "Ch-ch-ch-chia?"



Just another instance of "When Designer Goes Wrong." Obviously, he and Sager have been drunk shopping together. Bryant had the nerve to call that jacket "festive" on the year end wrap up of Real Sports. I guess...

Happy New Year, everybody!

Crocodile Tears: Lisa Leslie Cries For No Reason

When I saw Lisa Leslie cry after the girlfight between the LA Sparks and the Detroit Shock, I instinctively knew a couple of things.

One. Rick Mahorn would get suspended for longer than he deserved. He made contact with Lisa Leslie, but not with malice. But I knew Lisa's tearful whimpers would get him more punishment than he deserved.

Two. Lisa's tears weren't tantamount to general attention by the American public. Like a wife crying to her husband for the umpteenth time , "Oh, honey, you don't understand me..." Just another case of crocodile tears as far as most of us are concerned.

I'm not sure why Lisa was crying in the first place. A fight in the midst of sporting competition is not sad. The AIDS epidemic in Africa is sad. Mariah Carey's insistence on dressing like a 13 year old girl is sad. There's nothing sad about spontaneous physical combustion in the heat of battle. Contrary to what most analysts choose to proclaim, I, a sports fan, love a good fight.

Frankly, the WNBA blew a good opportunity.

From what I saw, the WNBA ladies fight better than they dunk. I legitimately held my breath as I prayed that no tracks got pulled out during the dust up. Nobody wants to see hair all over the court. But, still, I only saw the fight because the channel was left on Mike and Mike from the morning. That's the sad, sad attention threshold that the WNBA faces. Mike and Mike. The league needs to be honest about that.

Despite the fisticuffs and the singular attention the league got for a moment, the WNBA fight was replaced the very next day with a minor league baseball brawl. And very little columnist wordcount was devoted to the fight. In the coming days, women's sports will be mentioned, but the WNBA will have little to do with it. Instead the talk will be Olympic women's sports. Swimming, volleyball, even dressage. And as little attention as we pay to the WNBA, fight or no, dressage is barely a sport at all.

I'm not saying the WNBA should change it's name to UFC Femme, but they should have embraced a more sophisticated approach for keeping the girlfight story going. Tears and "we don't want that kind of attention" is not enough. Real talk. They league needs the attention. And, no, stunt casting with Nancy Lieberman making a comeback as a 50 year old is not better than attention from a fight.

WNBAers like Lisa Leslie and league president, Donna Orender, moaned that the league didn't want to be known for violence. The WNBA has their moral superiority and basketball fundamentals, but no audience.

Beggars can't be choosers.

Fashion Round Up - 2008 ESPYs

First, a moment of silence for the most recent victims of Grandpa Chic.





Matt Leinart stops at the Espys on the way to read a bedtime story to his grandkids and Brady Quinn stops off before shuffleboard with the seniors on the lido deck. Guys, you're still young! If I see another goddamn sweater in the summertime...

Paul Pierce throws up his gang signs, per his custom. That doesn't mean "peace." It's the sign for the very dangerous and notorious Bowler Hat Gang. The BHG runs the streets, yo. Don't let him catch you slippin' with a derby or fedora on. The commissioner won't be able to save you.



Paul's the very reason why the NFLers are being monitored for gang activity now. If Braylon Edwards can't wear colors or throw signs, he will wear glitter! Braylon can't make up his mind. Is he a bedazzled rat packer? Is he a world champion wrestler? (look at the belt)



And he is feeling himself in this ridiculous get up. Here's a bonus pic so you can keep laughing at/be seduced by this sparkly clown.



Kate Walsh is happy to stand next to Terrell Owens in his white shawl collared jacket over gray shadow striped pants.



Rajon Rondo does his best imitation of T.O.'s white trimmed jacket. However, Rondo is no T.O. The jacket is too big, but he just doesn't have the build and height to pull off a look with so many elements.



Lisa Leslie will dunk on you, then take your order. Would you like a fork or chopsticks with that?



I think Candace is tempted to pat Helio on the top of his head. Not only is this picture hilarious, but Candace Parker looks great, especially for a 18 foot tall woman.



Steve Nash is very nattily dressed in three piece plaid. Samuel L. is part of the Bowler Hat Gang too.




Greg Oden gets his Kanye West/Retarded Ray Charles on.



Shaun Phillips commissioned a satin suit. That suit reflects so much sunlight, I think he could be a potential solution to the energy crisis. Al Gore would give this look two thumbs up.



Venus was the best dressed woman at the event.



The Beckhams make it look easy for the rest of the fashion challenged suckers on the carpet. Love the spread collar on Dave.



**** Bonus points for counting the number of white shoes on grown men in this post. The number is disturbing.

And So It Begins...

The 2008 Espys have been taped and there was plenty of fashion foolishness at hand. But before the show even began in earnest, the tone was set.

Terrell "Birdman" Owens



I mean, really? WTF?

And, ladies and gentlemen, Jacksonville Jaguars wide receiver Reggie Williams. He is going to war for fashion I suppose. It's just unfortunate that the camouflage doesn't succeed in concealing him.



There will be a complete review of the fashion foolishness from the show imminently.

An Emerging Epidemic

In my last post, I cited a fashion "trend" that emerged at the NBA draft that I dubbed "Grandpa Chic." Sweater vests are an important part of the Grandpa Chic trend. So is anything that might sell well in Boca Raton or appear in the Best Values section of the JC Penney catalog. I hoped the trend was just a temporary misstep of the yunguns. I was in denial like Al Reynolds.

Two of the most typically dependable sports fashionistas - Dwyane Wade and Alonzo Mourning - get their Grandpa on at Zo's Summer Groove this past weekend.



But being the fashion forward types that they are, they up the ante on Grandpa Chic. Alonzo rocks the cheesy Hawaiian shirt. And both Zo and Dwyane rock the old man belt at their respective natural waists.

And, as Reggie Bush reveals, getting all booed up ages you.



Where is his swagger? Kim K looks her age, but Reggie threw on the first clean sweater vest he found on the floor of his closet. Something tells me Reggie left this party early so he could get to bed. That's what a Grandpa would do.

Fashion Round Up - NBA Draft 2008

The NBA draft is exhibit A in why these young men need to stay in school. We all know the ESPYs are the new NBA Draft. The teenagers obviously have no time to develop a sense of style between freshman orientation and October (when they sign with their agent) of same year. Soon the draft will be business casual. They will show up to Madison Square Garden in polo shirts and dockers. Just no effort.

Still, there were a few people that tried. And there was even a theme. I call it Grandpa Chic.

The NBA is not just for the youth. It's for the pepaws too!

For the record, I'm not necessarily praising Grandpa Chic. I'm just saying.

At first I thought this was just a tight ass vest.



But this is an actual SWEATER vest sported by Eric Gordon in the NBA draft portraits. But his idea wasn't original.



Michael Beasley also decided to fall prey to the Grandpa Chic phenomenon. Two sweater vests in one draft? Really?!

OJ Mayo is my best dressed of the night, but he was a little Grandpa-ey too.



What are those like $500 frames? With no prescription? You can see, OJ! Son, we haven't done that since high school when the folks were rocking Cazals. Still, the spectacles and the three piece suit gets him lumped in with the teenage pepaws. But the suit is fantastic. Well fitted and coordinated. I love the touch of sateen in the fabric. The camera loves the shine. Plus he has confidence. And OJ's draft portrait solidified him as the best dressed.



I love the color combination and boldness. And the extra large pocket square. You can never go wrong with a pocket square. At the end of the day, OJ Mayo has swagger. His style will be wasted on Minnesota. He had South Beach written all over him.

Like I said, a few others made an effort.



It took long as hell for Darrell Arthur to get drafted, but he looked great while waiting. This suit looks nicely neutral in the photo, but it was slightly garish on TV.

One of the Lopez twins (Robin) had trouble finding a hat that fit.



His brother, Brook, showed up to the draft looking like a extra tall cone of sherbert (choose your flavor!).



No wonder he fell in the draft.

And a few other notables.



Eric Gordon took a risk with the white on black. The jacket was paired with a black shirt with white pinstripes. It was interesting.



DJ Augustin looked great. Gray paired with a bold shirt/tie combo. Not bad.



Jerryd Bayless rocked the cream on cream. Not spectacular, but classic.

In any case, it's sad when an NBA Draft fashion review needs to be supplemented.

The tennis people always love to show out.

Sharapova's white tuxedo outfit was cute. Not scandalous. But clean, classic, and a lot of detail in the construction. I love it.



Serena Williams didn't need the trench coat on the court, but maybe the extra layers have kept her in the running at Wimbledon, unlike some people.



Venus Williams looks elegant in couture for her star turn in Koto Bolufo's book, "Venus."




And to close, Dwyane "Beat it. Beat it. No one wants to be defeated." Wade. Keep that new draft pick off of Ocean Drive and you might be able to win more than 3 games next season, shawty.



And, while totally un fashion related, shout out to Roy Hibbert. He got drafted in the first round. He probably would have gone earlier in the draft if he left last year, but he wanted to stay at Georgetown. The Hoya faithful appreciates you.

Hitching a Ride...

I wouldn't be an Atlantan if I didn't jump on the bandwagon. Atlanta is home of the consumate fairweather fan, so it's my native predisposition.

Because, truthfully, I laughed when I got a solicitation for playoff tickets two weeks before the regular season ended. It seemed the Hawks could've just gone to a bank if they needed someone to float them money for a few days.

But those guys closed things out. I always liked ZaZa Pachulia and the Joshes, but I thought Coach Mike Woodson was dead weight. You see, the Hawks should've made the playoffs two years ago. But this Mike Bibby thing is apparently working out. And, miraculously, the Hawks have won two games over the anointed Boston Celtics. And - I fully support TNT's decision to dedicate a camera to the frustrated face of Doc Rivers.

And the Atlanta fans may be fairweather, but they are crunk. Undoubtedly, the enthusiasm of the fans is the elevating the play of the Hawks. We are surprised, but we are genuinely excited for the team.

So, I'm on the bandwagon too. Hell yeah, Kevin Garnett should be suspended and go Hawks!

Moving On

Okay, I need a snappy comeback, somebody. I give up.

I have been a proponent of Michael Vick's return to the Atlanta Falcons.

But, today, there are some things I know to be true.

Like that Roger Clemens is a cheater and a whore.

And that Michael Vick is probably not going to be a Falcon again.

When the Falcons selected Boston College QB Matt Ryan with the #3 pick, it became clear the Falcons organization is moving on. And moving away from Michael.

I don't think picking Matt Ryan was a good move. I don't think many professional or armchair analysts expect Matt Ryan is a franchise savior. He is not highly projected to be an excellent quarterback. He was merely the best available. Maybe the Falcons don't need Michael Vick, but they need way more than a quarterback. The organization could have solidified the team with other position players. We need everything. The Falcons should have used the draft to build a team, not just replace the old quarterback. But the Falcons punked out, as usual.

Picking Matt Ryan was an image decision, not a football decision. And the inability to make football decisions is the reason why the Falcons can't put up a winning record more than one season in row. Remember, Brett Favre used to be a Falcon.

See, Arthur Blank got found out. Once it was reported that he and the Falcons organization were maintaining communication with Michael Vick while he was in prison, people started to put two and two together. Maybe the Falcons were going to wait it out. Maybe they weren't prepared to sacrifice Vick just to try to please certain people. After all, they have no more recourse in recouping the signing bonus they gave him. Why release him without compensation or trade him for a low round pick? The best way to get a return for the inconvenience is to make Michael pay up on the field of the Georgia Dome. He sells seats and merchandise and he even wins sometimes. It could be a relatively straightforward decision.

But the ever image conscious Arthur Blank got found out. Keeping his options open with the outcast Vick might have been the smart thing to do. But Blank doesn't have the balls to make tough football decisions. A football team can not be built on image alone. Blank is determined to prove otherwise.

Maybe Ryan will be a successful addition to the Falcons. I suspect he will be Joey Harrington redux. Nevertheless, despite the new quarterback, the Falcons still have the same problems with the fanbase they had the day before the draft. The season ticket waiting list is a distant memory. In fact, season ticket packages are now available for a mere $250. The Falcons are discounting 30,000 seats in order to encourage fans to attend the games. And I doubt Ryan jerseys are flying off the shelves.

The shallow attempt to "move on" with Matt Ryan only reinforces that the Michael Vick informs a lot of the decision making in the Falcons front office.

Ironically, Michael Vick is still running this team.