Apparently, Tony Romo is Mexican. Well, half Mexican to be precise. His "real" name is Antonio Ramiro Romo. I am not really shocked. After all, there are millions of Mexicans in the world. I am surprised that Romo's heritage hasn't been brought up in general (turns out this isn't secret information), much less in the context of Irvin-gate. It's significant, right? Mexicans need more than Jeff Garcia to be proud about in the NFL. Did Chad Johnson have to celebrate Hispanic Heritage Month alone?
But I haven't been this confused since I found out Dan Le Batard was Cuban. Isn't ESPN Deportes supposed to provide us with this information?
This adds a different twist to the latest edition of Irvin-gate. It's not really the same clear cut double standard. While we could still struggle with the appropriateness of Irvin's comments in the national media, I definitely think this casts Irvin's relationship with Romo in a different light. Now, Romo is not some poor defenseless White guy being victimized by Irvin's aspersions who can't defend himself lest he be labeled a racist. Indeed, because Romo is Mexican, that means he's Black (which explains why Romo was playing basketball with Irvin in the first place... It's a joke. I'll be here all night, folks.). Now I know that makes no sense at all, but I'll give you some insider information. Many Black-Americans will treat their non-White friends almost as if they are also Black. Mostly, this means they won't edit themselves in front of said friends and will be comfortable extending so-called "Black" privileges to those friends. So, if Irvin is on the basketball court getting on Tony about his mama, grandmama or great great great great grandmama, Romo is free to inquire whether Irvin is smoking the crack pipe that he has stowed in his gym bag. How do you say "crack pipe" in Spanish.... Fun for all. In fact, in case you were wondering, this might illuminate why Romo is so damn chummy with Irvin and Terrell Owens in the first place.
Good times ahead. The media will play some cheery salsa music everytime they do a background piece on Romo. Sean Salisbury will struggle to pronounce "machismo" to discuss what was previously called Romo's cockiness. They'll say he's tough and he has heart (just like the Mexican boxers). Sideline reporters will inexplicably ask him if he's confronted Emmitt Smith about robbing Mario Lopez of the Dancing with the Stars championship. ESPN will get the "GOOOOAAAL" guy to do a special play by play that they can tuck in the Sunday Sportscenter. Good times, good times.
Personally, I think "Antonio Ramiro" is waayy sexier than boring old "Tony." He should have been going with that all along. Because you know, the Latins, they are the lovers. (Again, I'll be here all night.) I'm just saying... If I was a celebrity quarterback, I would play the "Antonio" card. That's how you bag Jessica Alba, not Simpson.
Well, Peyton Manning, I guess you got your spot back. You are once again the reigning Great White Hope. Romo is out of contention on a technical disqualification.