I Can't Believe Ed Werder Didn't Get This Scoop

Breaking news. Terrell Owens falls asleep regularly in team meetings. Yes, this qualifies as breaking news, although he has apparently done this throughout his 10 year NFL career and because no human being except T.O. has every fallen asleep in a dark room. He has even had his former coaches call his current coaches to vouch for his undiagnosed narcolepsy. Seriously. Along with finding rodents in his fast food salads, this irritates WR coach Todd Haley to no end. Jerry Jones, like the rest of America, could care less. Still, ESPN is giddy with delight that they have anything, anything at all, to report about Terrell Owens, because its been about 20 minutes since he last took a dump. They will likely even forgive Ed Werder for letting the Dallas Morning News get the scoop, but they may have to take away his cafeteria coupon just to let him know that lackluster reporting can't be tolerated at the World Wide Leader (although that would be sending a conflicting message).

What's the over/under on set the alarm, ring the alarm, wake up, stay awake jokes awaiting us during this weekend's sports telecasts? T.O. - the gift that keeps on giving....