I Know She's Tempting, But...

There is a rumor floating around that Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson hooked up on a blind date. Don't do it, Tony. Sad to say, but JS is not as high on the food chain as she used to be. In fact, these days, she passes the time being sexually frustrated and scouring Internet dating sites for male hookers. Being the quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys is arguably the most glamorous job in sports. You've got to keep company befitting of the crown. And there's a lot more competition out there than there used to be. Tom Brady is quite adept at flaunting his dimples and scoring choice babes. And I'm sure Matt Leinart is on the hunt for another baby mama. So Tony, I know you're just getting started on the job and I hate to shoulder you with even more responsibility. Aim higher. Your position demands it.