Move over Kiefer, Kobe is the New Jack Bauer

Why does this dude have to be so mysterious? Is he trying to make me hate him more? There are a lot of rumblings in the street about what the significance of the new number is. Sentimental nostalgia for the days when he didn't have to grapple with the meaning of Shaq (he supposedly wore "24" in high school)? Revenge against Adidas? One upmanship of Jordan (23 + 1 = 24)? An obsession with multiplication (2 x 4 = 8)? Shameless attempt to sell more merchandise?

Who knows? Who cares? But Kobe has accumulated some cool new nicknames in the offseason. Referencing the new "24" number - "Jack Bauer." Clever.... But there's one I like better courtesy of T.J. Simers - "The Tanker." Why "The Tanker?" You did see him in the second half of Game 7 of the playoff series against the Suns? Oh, that's right... You didn't.