Thursday, November 30, 2006

Things I Wouldn't Know If Not For Dan Le Batard

Randy Shannon, defensive coordinator for the University of Miami Hurricanes, is allegedly in the running for the head coaching job at The U soon to be vacated by Larry Coker. I don't know much about the particulars of Hurricane football, so I can't really give a take on his skills. But I do now it's harder for a Black man to get a head coaching job in college football than it is to get an erection thinking about Tony Siragusa in a bikini.

But a caller on the Dan Le Batard radio show today suggested - wait for it - that Shannon would be a good choice because "he would appeal to the single moms." I couldn't help but laugh. I'm not even sure what the caller meant by that. Certainly, that Shannon would be an asset in recruiting Black athletes who, as everyone knows, all come from broken homes. Said moms would automatically feel warm and fuzzy forcing their sons to go play for a Black coach. Whatever.

Or the caller meant that Shannon would "appeal to the single moms" by plying them with sexual favors. Hmmmm... I suppose he is a handsome man. He's in shape. He's got a good job. Certainly, single moms will find him "appealing." These moms have been stuck with some bad ass boys for 18 years forced to spend all their free time sitting on concrete bleachers and bedazzling jerseys that say, for example, "DeMarcus' Mom". So, Shannon might indeed have an "appeal" that other candidates don't offer. I mean you have to do with you have to do. It's a competitive market out there. Maybe he's been holding back on his full arsenal of skills all this time. ("No! I won't sell my body for a coordinator position." sniff. sniff.) If Randy gets the call, maybe he'll show us his cards.

But the question is, would booty calls to the single moms constitute a recruiting violation?


doublenicks said...

This made me think of two things . . .



And don't forget the other things you learn from Dan LeBatard: Michael Irvin doesn't know how to explain the "U" football brawl to his kids but apparently (because it was left unsaid) has no problem explaining the hookers and the crack; that A-Rod is really not an unlikeable douchebag; that he's Cuban so he has carte blanch to discuss (and consider himself an authority on) issues of race; and of course, that he's whiney as hell.

Head Chick In Charge said...

I was remiss for not noticing the pole dancing angle.