Tiki Barber and Yoko Ono

Alright, that's not Yoko in the picture with Tiki Barber. It's his wife, Ginny. She is not even Japanese, but is half Korean and half Vietnamese. Why did I go with that tag? Because I'm a bitch sometimes. And I couldn't think of anything better.

Really, I thought of Yoko because the intrepid journalists at Page Six have put forth that Ginny is the real reason Tiki is retiring. Ginny is supposedly running a big guilt trip, nagging Tiki that he'll be crippled and he won't be able to play with his children if he keeps playing football.

This is just the beginning, Tiki. You have crossed the World Wide Leader and they will insidiously and surreptitiously ruin you. Today, it's getting the NY Post to emasculate you by suggesting that your wife made you retire. Tomorrow, who knows? And when the Giants lose their next game, they are going to unload on you. Wait for it.

And I don't feel sorry for you. I don't buy your "nice guy" act. Sure, as a human being I respect your right to do whatever you want. However, as someone who can count, I can't understand why you would leave football money on the table for broadcasting money. You really have a high opinion of yourself if you think you have Katie Couric size contract in your future. Sure, you're more articulate than the average football player, but you're boring. You think Michael Irvin is an "idiot"? You should be taking notes. You can't just manufacture personality. And, speaking as a fan, it is pretty sorry for you to leave a Superbowl contending team right when you master the rudimentary skill of carrying the football. I've finally learned how not to be a soul killing fumbler. Brilliant! I think I'll retire. That's cold blooded, son. A couple of years and several million dollars is not enough for you, Tiki? Where is your sense of perspective? Do you think I believe that the media tricked you into revealing that you were going to retire in the middle of the season? Absolutely not. Not only are you media savvy, you are indeed a media whore. If you were so worried about avoiding debilitating injury playing football, you would spend less time on Sirius radio and writing children's books and more time with a conditioning coach. I do believe you are auditioning for your next job. You're a broadcasting free agent, so to speak, and you're using the season to put the spotlight on you in order to maximize your opportunities for next year. Do I blame you? No. Do you, Tiki. It's certainly well within your rights. But I see it for what it really is and, if you don't watch yourself, your little scheme is going to backfire.