I Realize I May Be Your Only Black Friend

I was on I Dislike Your Favorite Team the other day and those guys were openly wondering about some of the player celebrations in the NFL.

As I love all White people, old people and all others who have better things to do that to keep up with hip-hop culture, I am happy to clue you in.

(BTW, this is NSFW if you don't happen to work in a place where you can blare profanity laced rap songs)

Surely, you have noticed the New York Giants doing a jump shot after every goddamn play. And, if you're like me, you're hoping the competition committee puts a stop to it right away. But, there's a method to the madness. When I commented at IDYFT, I was guessing, but I was right! This song is inspired by the Jim Jones rap song, "We Fly High." (You can listen to the remix dissing Jay-Z in my little media player in the sidebar.) I'm disturbed that I'm so much in sync with the mind of Michael Strahan. Here's the video evidence.



Terrell Owens did this dance for his second or third TD (Sorry, I couldn't find evidence). It's called the "lean with it, rock with it" or the "poole palace" (after a nightclub in Atlanta). It's been popularized by many songs including the surprisingly named, "Lean Wit It, Rock Wit It", by Dem Franchize Boys and "Laffy Taffy" by D4L. This is the quintessional snap dance. And what is a snap dance? Why it's a dance you do to snap music, silly. Snap music is just a category of rap songs. (You can hear "Lean Wit It, Rock Wit It" in my player.) If you are tortured by these songs, the sooner you learn how to do this dance, the happier you'll be. This dance has a lot of variations. When T.O. did it, it wasn't that exaggerated, but you can do it to the extent you like all the way to a sort of "voguing" ala Madonna. Here, I found a Vick fan to demonstrate it for you.



Don't be intimidated. You can do it too. And, actually, this is a respectable attempt.




We've also been witnessing a lot of the "walk it out" dance. It can also be called the "westside walk." It's been popularized by another surprisingly named song, "Walk it Out" by DJ Unk. (You can listen to the remix with Outkast in my little media player). The Pittsburgh Steelers do it a lot, but here are Washington Redskins players Carlos Rogers and Sean Taylor getting their walk on during a game against the Carolina Panthers. Why play defense when you can dance?



Note how the whole defense can barely contain their urge to bust out a soul train line. It's no surprise their season has gone the way it has.



And here's a comprehensive summary of all the dances you have seen and some you haven't seen yet, courtesy of Elmo.



Elmo does the westide walk, the poole palace and the motorcyle dance, along with a cornucopia of West Indian dances at the end.

So, impress your friends at your holiday cocktail parties with this information. If you practice, you might even be able to demonstrate.

If you have any more questions for your only Black friend, you can contact me at leavethe manalone@gmail.com. And in case you were wondering, yes, I can do all of those dances. And I can do them well. I am a grown ass professional and I can dance better than your 12 year old.