Serena Williams Can't Control Her Puppies

No, it's not what you think, perv.

A pit bull registered to Serena Williams bit a Palm Beach security guard in the ass last week. The pit ball, ironically named Bambi, was roaming the neighborhood with its BFF, a white Maltese, when the terrible twosome roughed up the victim.

And if you thought Richard Williams was the only shady one in the family, Serena may have picked up a few tips. Curiously, Serena denied owning the pitbull. The police fingered Serena because of a phone number on the Maltese's tag. I don't know. Pitbull/Maltese gang affiliations seem pretty unusual to me. You have to figure the dogs were already BFFs. Serena is just following the code of the streets. You can't snitch. It's better to tell the authorities, "I don't know that bitch", than to serve Bambi up to the po po. However, Serena's own website has a picture of a pitbull named, surprise, Bambi. One the picture captions reads, "Bambi ready to pounce." So, I think it was a feeble, yet honorable, effort, Serena. Here is a mug shot of the lil' killer in case you may need to take measures to protect yourself.