What T.O. Should've Done

I'm sure this will be a series.

As a T.O. apologist and a lawyer and an imaginary friend of T.O., I figure what's the harm of offering him some free advice when he missteps? The advice he pays good money for isn't doing him much good.

With regard to D-Hall Spitgate, T.O. should have:

1. Appealed the fine

The fine was excessive. Owens should be penalized for the offense, not for being T.O. That's not fair. Sean Taylor was fined $17,500 for intentionally spitting on someone on for the viewing audience's displeasure. Owens' fine shouldn't have been any higher, adjusted for inflation. The fact that Owens is a higher profile athlete who has more impact on the image on the NFL is balanced by the lack of video replays that would allow the incident be dragged out even longer.

2. Regardless of whether the fine was reduced, matched the fine with a charitable contribution

Ironically, Owens was doing a visit at a Dallas children's hospital the day the fine was announced. It would've been nice if he made a contribution to that hospital or another children's organization. That way he could have a platform to apologize to the kids for sending a bad message about sportsmanship and how to appropriately deal with frustration. As a bonus, this could be the basis for another "Little T" children's book.

3. Buy DeAngela Hall a $500 gift card to Victoria's Secret

Why? Because DeAngela needs panties. Lots of them. He is a whiny bitch. (I am going to stop making fun of DeAngela one day, but not today.) And because it would be funny. Owens could maintain his edginess and continue his punishment of Hall, given that Hall has lost a lot of man points for how he handled the situation in many fans' eyes. The media would talk about it for days, thus giving Owens a little positive publicity out of a bad situation.