Friday, January 12, 2007

The Week in Junk

The past few days have seen an inordinate amount of news about junk.

Pittsburgh Steeler kicker, Jeff Reed's junk

Sean Salisbury's junk

(Sean hasn't hit me on the chirp with the photo yet. Close your eyes and use your imagination. Mmmm, delicious..)

Rex Grossman's junk

Or maybe the other guy's junk... Don't forget to check out the homoerotic comedy stylings of Kissing Suzy Kolber on Sexy Rexy.

Kobe Bryant's junk

And at the end of the week in junk, I have to say Kobe Bryant is the loser in the D.I.A.B. power poll. He got bucky naked and didn't generate much attention. Not much buzz at all... And Kobe is actually handsome! His goatee is way better than Sean Salisbury's. Jack Bauer may be feeling good about himself because his new "24" jersey is the biggest seller in NBA stores and he is lately racking up more assists than points, but Kobe couldn't buy attention right now. It's a sad, sad day when you can't get attention for teasing us with your junk.

Although I suspect Gilbert "Quality Shots" Arenas would display his junk if asked, he doesn't have to. He's the new "it" boy of the NBA. And, thank God. I was wondering if I was the only one who saw him go mano a mano with Lebron in last season's playoffs. But, no, the Community that David Stern Hates has embraced him. He is the Man. Kobe is not. And he shall never be again, even if he gives the world his dick in a box with a purple and gold bow on it.


DP said...

You need to google Mr. Arenas and see if The Washington Post still has the two part about Gilbert online...Its a remarkable story...

Boise Wants Jay said...

I really really like this blog.

I just might write about it

- Really Jay Mariotti

PS - Now I'm a Live Blogger!