Thursday, March 29, 2007

Ohio State Has Already Lost

The fashion game, that is.

I was promised hot, exciting new uniforms with the new Nike System of Dress that Ohio State, Florida, Arizona and Syracuse debuted in the NCAA conference tourneys. I was promised skin tight jerseys ten inches narrower in torso. I was promised pecs and guns. I was promised a fashion revolution.

Instead, I got this.

Only a slightly more fitted jersey and shorts so large and out of proportion with the jersey that they look like skirts. They might as wear crinoline slips. I am underwhelmed.

Basketball uniforms have to be the worst designed uniform in terms of performance. Who wears loose fitting uniforms anymore? Form fitting is the way to go. They wick away moisture better, are aerodynamically superior and do a whole bunch of other cool scientific crap.

The players already wear the spandex underneath the uniforms, so what's the holdup? If David Stern is open to other performance related modifications to the game like changing the ball, uniforms should definitely be on the table. At least offer form fitting uniforms as an alternate. I bet that show off Kobe would wear it. He thinks he's so pretty.

What's really disappointing about these uniforms not being embraced by the men was that I hoped it would help open the door to different womens' uniforms. It is just ridiculous that female basketball players don't dress like women. I was praying the men's skin tight uniforms would shame the women into wearing more flattering uniforms. Female tennis players don't dress like dudes. Female volleyball players wear bikinis, not shorts. And frankly, women's basketball should be doing anything it can to attract eyeballs. The lady players could even wear different styles in the same color so they would have an option that flattered different body types. If it's good enough for bridesmaids, it should be good enough for lady ballers.

So, thanks for nothing, Ohio State. You've ruined my fashion vision. That's while I'll be cheering for the better dressed team.


Gangsta D said...

Why the Kobe hate? Was that really necessary? Easter's next weekend. Can't we do like Tribe and get a Love Movement going on here? lol

MCBias said...

I've really wanted women ballers to have the option of having their own styles of uniform, instead of all being forced into the same type of uniform. Just keep the same color scheme is all. I posted about it myself, eons ago, on another blog. So I agree with you, to a point.

But one has to be careful about sexifying the game too much. I love volleyball, but I hate that being a fan of women's volleyball games nowadays (indoor or outdoor) seems like such a pervy thing. Also, what happens when a female athlete gets pressured by management for not having a "sexy enough" uniform like her teammates?

Look, unless the women can compete naked, they'll never match what's available elsewhere. Sure, make them look better, let them be individualstic, but woman athletes will never win the sexy war.

Brother T said...

"It is just ridiculous that female basketball players don't dress like women. "

The reason they don't is pretty self explanatory. Most would rather sport nice tats on their arms and run around looking like little mini-me versions of the men players.

That's part of why the WNBA gets no action. Why watch a bunch of women pretending to be men, when you can watch the real thing?

Mini Me said...

The jerseys have been ugly. I thought they had to look nice for NIke to be able to successfully sell them.