Wednesday, April 04, 2007


It has come to my attention that many of you are enamored with this female.

One Candace Parker, star of the champion Tennessee Volunteers ladies basketball team.

Well, Candace is allegedly spoken for. Word is that that she's racking up FF miles between Nashville and The A to see her boo, Shelden Williams. So, for all you out there seething with jealousy over Shelden, I offer you a picture of Shelden Williams looking utterly ridiculous.

So, there you go. Not only was Shelden banished to the dreadful Atlanta Hawks. Not only is he another disappointing Dukie gone pro (Shocking!). But he dresses like a female. He plays a man's game while wearing one shoulder tops. What a catch for Candace. Enjoy this sip of haterade, Candace lovers.


Signal to Noise said...

You forgot "fugly" in the disappointing Dukie gone pro bit. Candace could do so much better.

MCBias said...

Oh, come on, ltma; it feels so progressive of us to love tall black women. We're working through years of white guilt by admiring Candace Parker. I'm sure someone will get around to other women who fit that profile eventually, no worries. I'd think you'd be in favor of this sort of thing. ;-) Ok, enough of the heckling of everyone.

But yeah, it is weird how everyone's realizing now that Candace is attractive. Here, get on a bandwagon with a little more room: Hairston is single, I think. . Um, whatever you do, though, pay no attention to Brooke Smith or Shay Doran. They, um, have boyfriends. Or, um, so I've heard, or will hear. (Psst: call me! :-p)

Blue Viking Devil said...

So you make fun of Shelden for dressing like a female due to "shoulder problems"? It would seem that you are defeating your feminism by bashing a male for dressing like a female thus insuating that females are not worthy to be dressed like by males.

Ahh and the ever present Duke hate. I have learned to live with this, but I am starting to wonder about the whole argument of "another disappointing Dukie gone pro." Lets just examine it a little bit.

Mid-90's it was a total valid argument with the greats of Ferry, Hurley, Abdelnaby etc. giving ample proof of disappointment. Laettner was not a "superstar" but was the star in Minnesota for awhile at then made an All-Star team with the Hawks so I dont think we can label him a disappointment fully. But then that is where the tide starts to turn a bit (notice a bit, obviously there still are plenty of disspointments depending on persepective).

Disappointments- Dunleavy Jr, William Avery, Shelden (so far), JJ Redick (so far), Jay Williams (due to injury) some might also say Grant Hill due to his injuries, but before the ankle issues he was a triple-double threat every game and one of the premiere stars of the league.

Not-Disappointments- Luol Deng, Carlos Boozer, Shane Battier, Corey Maggette (although he hasnt been a superstar), Elton Brand

Now obviously there have been more Duke players that just werent hyped so I wouldnt label them disappointments, but I can stand to be corrected.

Mini Me said...

Sheldon Williams? Are you kidding me??? you could do better Candace.

Da Arsonist said...

Sheldon Williams.....come on now....Sheldon Williams