Friday, April 20, 2007

Pacman Has Learned Nothing!

I have reviewed the full page ad that Adam "Pacman" Jones took out in The Tennessean today. Supposedly, Jones has his priorities straight. His first priority is to his daughter and his family. Fair enough. His second priority is meet the expectations of his coaches, teammates and fans. Fine. He also claims that he is going back to school to earn his degree at West Virginia University. He goes on to discuss his planned appeal of his suspension and then closes with some more sappy apologies.

And that's it. Unbelievable.

Sadly, Jones failed to mention the most important lesson of all. You can't make it rain, then ask for a refund!

The unfortunate incident is Las Vegas was his ultimate downfall. And that is the misstep he should be seeking to redress. He should be apologizing to the dancers he deprived of a livelihood. And he should apologize to cool people everywhere for ruining a perfectly good slang term. We had been enjoying the usage of "make it rain" for a while. Now that's in the mainstream lexicon, the term is ruined forever. It was even hot coming out of Fat Joe's mouth. Coming out of Tony Kornheiser's mouth? Not hot at all.

Some doubt the sincerity of Adam's latest publicity blitz. I'm sure the strippers doubt him most of all. Jobs in the NFL come and go, but strip clubs are for a lifetime. Though he didn't mention it in his ad, I hope Jones has been brought up to speed on his strip club etiquette. Otherwise, the ladies of West Virginia better watch out. Pacman is going to have a lot of time on his hands to make it rain once again.

1 comment:

Country Grammar said...

Hey, if rain checks are acceptable, then rain refunds should at least be discussed.

Especially if you are at one of those strip joints where the young ladies are busted, but you can't leave cause your boy seems drunk enough to be interested in busted strippers.