Monday, June 04, 2007

How (Not) To Be A Player

The Alex Rodriguez situation needs to be addressed.

His flaws are much discussed and, incredibly, another one has become apparent.

Who knows if we will be subject to more public adventures of Stray Rod? Still, the world has learned something new. Alex Rodriguez has no game. Zero. Please, men of the world, do not be confused.

Do not ever, I repeat, do not ever take girls on dates to strip clubs.

You may be thinking, "If it's good enough for A-Rod and his highlights, it's good enough for my mack game."

No.

This scourge on the fairer sex first presented itself during the infamous 2001 Gold Club trial. The world then became aware that professional athletes, for some unknown reason, enjoy taking girls to strip clubs on dates. This scourge can not be allowed to gain firm footing in society again. A-Rod can not be the face of this revival.

Strip clubs are fine. Furthermore, they are fine for foreplay or other sexy diversions as it comes to couples. But, under no circumstances, does taking a female to a strip club constitute a date. I don't know what it constitutes exactly. It's got to be one of the most random things I have ever heard of.

I know it's confusing. You can grab a tasty meal at the strip club. The music is good. The seating is plush. So what's wrong with grabbing a bite to eat in an adult establishment?

You may say, "The chicken fingers are the best in town! Can I take my shorty to get some fingers and fries?"

No.

"What about wings? My girl might like some good wings?"

No!

Under no absolutely any circumstances is a strip club the proper setting for a date.

And what's sad is that Alex Rodriguez does not have to engage in pretenses. He is handsome. He is rich. He can string together a sentence. Yet, he still insists on being corny.

Men, you want game?

Rich Eisen has game.

And yes, I fully acknowledge that we live in a sad world when Rich Eisen has all the game and Alex Rodriguez has none.

When Alex Rodriguez cheats, we are inundated with accounts of him preferring she-males and images of his heartbroken wife hightailing out of town.

When Rich Eisen cheats, his wife pays the cable bill, gets the kids tucked in and then curses a bitch out.

Clearly, Rich Eisen's wife knows the player she married. Yes. Balding, yet somehow keeping a bikini ready skank on the hook for 10 plus years. Yes, sir. That's a player.

Pay attention.

2 comments:

DP said...

Rich Eisen NEEDS game.


Alex doesnt NEED game.

Game is overrated, take it from someone who succeeded in love the moment he stopped playing.

tws392000 said...

Now that I have finally stopped laughing...
Thanks again, HCIC. Now playas of all stripes have been schooled.