Thursday, July 12, 2007

Fashion Round Up - ESPY Awards

I am naive. I thought the NBA Draft was the fashion holy grail. I was wrong. The ESPYs may be the revelation and hallelujah of sports fashion. There's a lot to get to - both good and bad. I've had to make some difficult choices.

Lebron was the host and he's clearly been spending more time shopping than practicing his jump shot. Here's the showstopper. This ensemble is entitled, "My Lebrogative." Note the tassels and the Hammer pants and the Gumby hairdo. Bask in its glory.

The rehearsal outfit wasn't much better. He could have sprung for a legitimate set of capri pants if that's the direction he wanted to go in.

This is actually a sharp bow tie and pinstripe ensemble. But I'm most pleased to know that Lebron and I are both partial to the Nation of Islam in its sports manifestation.

Ummm... if you say so.

Lebron channels the safari via Gucci.

Lebron does resort.

Pinstriped perfection (James, not Kimmel).

Should Lebron be more concerned about projecting himself as a playoff leader or an orange sherbert push up pop?

1 dude, SEVEN oufits. You decide.

Insisting on staying in the limelight, Jerry Rice auditions for "Hot Ghetto Mess." Yes, he's not happy to see you, he has a Crown Royal bag in his pocket. I'm speechless.

Terrell Owens seems fine at first glance. I wish he would lose the jeans, despite his homage to Nick Young. His hand is gleeful and looks okay for receptions.

Then comes the homage to Dwyane Wade. Terrell sees Flash's lightning bolt and raises him a Dallas Cowboy star. I think I'm going to go freeze my eggs now.

Speaking of Dwyane, he looked sharp this time out. He's flexing the "Nick Young" look as well with the white on black look. His tie is made from the same material as his jacket. But we all know how Charles feels about that hat.

More good news. Reggie Bush is perfection. His fashion game is evolving at a rapid pace. He will be turning on the humans soon.

It makes me sad to see the once perfect Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson withered away as a shell of his former self.

Serena is still waiting for Venus to send her a bra from London, but, otherwise, she looks beautiful.

Amanda Beard flaunts her Playboy body, but check out the #1 Playboy MILF here (NSFW and a little slow loading, but worth it. Maybe the best Playboy layout ever).

Maria Sharapova is a naughty girl. She likes leather and she likes lace.

Awwwwwww. Derek Fisher and his wife, Candace.

Brady Quinn and the girl he brought to the NFL Draft. And, still, she's not that cute and Brady's hair is still greasy.

Can someone track this man's hat size? (Free, Barry!!) Otherwise, Vince Carter looks good.

So does Drew Brees. His wife, Brittany, looks smokin' hot here.

Insert your own joke here. Vince Young and Matt Leinart pose like they're at the club. What song do you think is playing in the background? C'mon, Matt. Pose on one knee. Make it authentic.

Janet Gretzky's no Posh, but she's keeping it age appropriate and classy.

Dwight Freeney geeked up? Yeah, he might be.

Some cutie snowboarders (Sarah Bright, Torah Burke and Jamie Anderson) do the short dress thing.

Greg Oden matches his shirt fabric to his suit fabric.

Although Shaq's jacket is as long as her body, Shaunie O'Neal looks lovely.

Latorsha plays her part next to LaDanian Tomlinson's vest.

Ashley Judd and Dario Franchitti make another lovely couple.

Lisa Leslie and her husband, Michael, look great too.

Mike Tyson needs love too.

Peyton Manning is undeniable with his customary pocket square and championship ring.

Pat Summitt looks matronly.

Atlanta Falcons cornerback DeAngelo Hall is all vested up and such, but is in LA without his playbook. I'm going to remember this.

I still love soccer, but Abel Xavier arrived at the red carpet on the short bus.

And, finally, Baron Davis channels Joakim Noah with his seersucker ensemble. Yeah. Still not working.


Gangsta D said...

Damn, Jerry Rice has turned into my uncle. I didn't think he could fall any further after Dancing With The Stars.

Awful Announcing- said...

Brady Quinn's Girl looks pregnant. Can I get a ruling?

Gangsta D said...

Come on, you KNOW it's not possible that she's pregnant. I kid Brady. I kid him:)

Krista said...

Song Playing in the Club for Matt Leinart: "Ms Jackson-Outkast"

Did Baron Davis borrow his lil cousin's sunglasses?

Jerry Rice -WHY?

Greg Oden - Put the suit down and return to the tailor.

CoCo said...

Is that Sherbert thing a sweater? If so, isn't it a little warm for a sweater?

restrictedfreedom said...

Its cool to see that LeBron has a good sense of humor. A much needed attribute for any athlete today, especially one of his caliber.

That picture of him, dressed up like Hammer is hilarious.

Anonymous said...

Brady quinns g/f is not ugly. she looks ok. ew now brittany brees is not pretty.

Anonymous said...


Brad said...

SMH @ Baron Davis throwing up Piru at the ESPYS...

u kidding me?