Friday, August 31, 2007

Travis Deserves It, But Still...

Why is the media putting Travis Henry on blast? Travis is having some issues with his children and their support payments. The story began in the Atlanta Journal Constitution because Henry is in a child support dispute with a local woman. Then the story made its way to mediatakeout.com. Now, I see it on my Yahoo! front page. Sure, he deserves mention with other father of the year candidates like Brian Urlacher, Floyd Mayweather, Sr. and Andy Reid. However, Matt Leinart get the glossy People Magazine treatment for his child support dispute and the media coos after Tom Brady taking time off work to witness the birth of a son that doesn't even have his last name as a diversion from globe trotting with the next girl. Travis Henry ain't the only baby daddy out there. He's one of the best running backs in the league, but he's probably never had a national article written about him. Just cause he's a mind blowing 9x9...

Wait, you don't know what a 9x9 is?

It's a simple X x Y equation.

x = number of wives/ex-wives/baby mamas (or male equivalent)
y = number of children birthed by x.

Travis Henry has 9 baby mamas and 9 children. Therefore he is a 9x9.
Shawn Kemp is a 6x7 (at least).
Herm Edwards is a 2x3.
Bill Belichick is a 1x3.
Shaquille O'Neal is a 2x5.
Shaunie O'Neal is a 2x5. (see it works both ways!)
Tony Gonzalez is a 2x2.
Oscar De La Hoya is a 3x4.
Larry Bird is a 2x3.

You get it?

The numerical designation carries no universal judgement. It's a just a handy way to stereotype people. However if you're Chinese, the ideal label might be 1x1. If you're a person with a little life experience, maybe 2x3 sounds good to you. If you have super sperm, maybe 4x4 is inevitable for you. If you're a carpenter, maybe 2x4. If you're about your money, maybe 0x0 is music to your ears.

Travis Henry is the category leader right now, but he is just going through life, even if on an exaggerated basis. And here's hoping he'll stop borrowing money from the Titans' petty cash and sell some of those gold chains and cars to take care of all those damn kids.

10 comments:

JD said...

0x0 Thank God and Trojan Man!!!

Nos said...

OK, I'm confused, do Shaq and Shaunie have 10 kids, or are they making trades at the deadline?

The HCIC said...

Shaq and Shaunie have 6 kids between them.

Shaq has one child with a baby mama and 4 children with his wife, Shaunie.

Shaunie has one child with a baby daddy and 4 children with her husband, Shaq.

Keep up!

Miranda said...

OK...but if I'm the wife I'm not a baby mama ...I refuse that title on GP DAMMIT!!

But if I happen to be the wife and my husband makes somebody a baby mama....then I'm not guilty by reason of temporary insanity.

Nos said...

Thank you for the elaboration.

PS: I'm looking forward to destroying you in Pick Em Football

I'll see you next week, HCIC.

Nos

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Anonymous said...

you gettin lazy. How did you miss that MLB dude, whatshisname, karl malone and a few others.

Kevin Hayward said...

Not sure I needed a mathematical formula at this point in the morning, but I think I see what you're getting at. My initial reaction is to ponder whether race might be involved, but I don't think it is. If Peyton Manning has spread his seed so liberally, he and Travis Henry would probably be in the same boat.

Jarrett Carter said...

If Peyton Manning spread his seed like Travis Henry, the world would have to worry about laser rocket arms throughout the SEC.

MODI said...

Of course, don't forget Jason Whitlock didn't miss a chance to bite at this one either!

Having stated that I don't think that I have ever heard of a 9 by 9 before? Is there a record on this?

(12 by 10 does not count; I'm talking one by one)

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