Thursday, September 27, 2007

Well, Did You Send Him a Care Package?

If there was anything I learned from the ESPN town hall meeting on Michael Vick, it was that we're all enablers. The team. The media. The fans. We all did our part to steer Michael toward the predicament he finds himself in.

So when I heard Michael Vick had tested positive for marijuana use by the federal courts, I blamed myself. What healthy choices was I enabling Michael Vick to make? Was I offering him chocolate milk instead of soda? Little Dannon yogurts instead of fries? Did I say, "Mike, have these apple slices with caramel dip instead of weed." No, I did not. So when I heard that Mike had turned to the cheeba, I was not surprised. What the fuck else is he supposed to do? His life is falling apart! He has no means to unwind. Can he turn on ESPN like the average sports fan to escape his life problems? Uh, no. He is on blast. He is getting mental health care according to the court paperwork. He is sad, alone and depressed. Even if I had some on hand, carrot sticks might not make the pain go away like a blunt.

So, Mike, you still gotta do what needs to be done to stay out of trouble. You've lived in the A long enough. Install your stripper poles at home. Stock up on your liquor on Saturdays. Keep it legal. Keep it in the subdivision. Stop smoking. Drink, instead! It's not against the law and, if it worked for Brett Favre, it can work for you. Good luck, Mike. And I'll have celery sticks with ranch dressing (no wings, cuz you're a bad boy) on hand next time you come around.


Miranda said...

"What the fuck else is he supposed to do?"..........LOL, Girl....puff-puff-pass. I aint mad at'em.

CoCo said...

I'm glad you're finally taking responsibility for your part in fucking up Mike's life! LOL

Sportsdiva said...

I was still wondering if that 'package' I sent to his crib made it there or if the WWL had reduced itself to going thru his trash to look for faux-scoops. Looks like he got it!!! LMAO

I think I need a Big Boi verse...
"Can't gamble feeding baby on that dope money
might not always be sufficient but the
United Parcel Service & the people at the Post Office
didn't call you back because you had cloudy piss
So now you back in the trap just that, trapped
Go on and marinate on that for a minute"

The HCIC said...

one of the best verses of all time, diva. true, indeed.

Jarrett Carter said...

This is all T.I.'s fault.

If the rubberband man told Vick to listen more to Michael instead of Mike, this wouldn't have happened.

Sportsbruh said...


Micheal Vick is TOO IRRESPONSIBLE and I can NO LONGER support his STUPID ASS!

Rachell Ferrell made a song for peep like him. I can't do it no more - Mike is a Fuckin train wreck so Phugg him, Britney Spears, Pacman and all the other Rich fucks that can't pull it together.

Miranda said...

You would be surprised at the irresponsibility of Namath, Montana, Marino, Farve,....that is if their indiscretions were reported with the same vigor. Granted during their serious trangressions they were blessed with not having the 24-hr news cycle...but more importantly, they have the protection of the their good-ole-boy-aw, hes just having a good time, or (my favorite)"that's his personal life" excuses are subliminally etched into our heads while the Vick's and the Pacmans are the big black beasts. don't fall for the "too irresponsible" at 24 and 27 when the men I named did their deeds when they were older than that.

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