Leave the Man Alone

Tony Kornheiser Meets the Fashion Police

2010-02-24T01:22:00.000-05:00

Wait. What?

Surely, the suspension intended for Mike "Martin Luther Coon Day" Greenberg was misdirected in the inter-office mail and given to Tony Kornheiser instead.

Last week, Tony Kornheiser was doing his radio show on ESPN 980 and commented on morning SportsCenter anchor Hannah Storm's wardrobe. The relevant section of the program is as follows:

Kornheiser: "I want to point out, for those of you looking at ESPN, I'd like to point out Hannah Storm in a horrifying, horrifying outfit today (pictured). She’s got on red go-go boots and a Catholic school plaid skirt -- way too short for somebody in her 40s or maybe early 50s by now. She’s got on her typically very, very tight shirt. So, she looks like she's got sausage casing wrapped around her upper body. I mean, you know, honestly -- I know she’s very good, and I know I’m not supposed to be critical of ESPN people -- I point out people who say they've lost 50 or 60 pounds, have actually gained all the weight back ..."

Male Co-host: "And then some."

Kornheiser: "... I'm not supposed to do anything like that. So I won't. But Hannah Storm today --"

Male Co-host: "Put the weight back, back, back, back, on."

Kornheiser: "Hannah Storm, right, [co-host] Liz [Clarke]? Hannah Storm, come on now. Stop. What are you doing?"

Clarke: "It's painful. And you hit the highlights. The red go-go boots, the Catholic school --"

Male Co-host: "It's a little more Burberry than Catholic school. But still."

Clarke: "It's a Lolita-esque quality."

Male Co-host: "Yeah. Trashy."

Clarke: "Appealing to the fantasy of the little -- well, let's stop there."

Kornheiser: "What I would call a Holden Caulfield fantasy at that point."

I'm on Team Tony. He is unequivocally correct about Hannah Storm's presentation. She is wearing red hooker boots with a skirt her parents probably bought for her way back when she was in middle school. That is just the opposite of appropriate. Indeed, Storm has been so otherwise unremarkable in her anchor duties, that she's mainly been noticed in the blogosphere solely for her frequently questionable wardrobe choices. Her Hunts Point meets Bristol outfit was hardly an aberration from her normal costumes.

Hannah Storm may be many things. A competent anchor among them. But she is not a tasteful and/or professional dresser. She is not the first to try to eroticize the morning news (see Katie Couric) and she is not the first to try to shamelessly sex it up as a sports reporter (see Jillian Reynolds). But you either do Couric's suit with stilletos schtick or just unabashedly hoochie it up like Jillian. But you don't awkwardly and clumsily try to do both at the same time. Then you come out looking like Hannah Storm. A hot ass mess.

Furthermore, while ESPN selfishly refuses to give their anchors access to professional stylists (it would be wrong to single Hannah out when few of the ESPN anchors have a taste level above JC Penney's), Hannah has been a bad influence on her colleagues. Call them "gateway boots."

Linda Cohn has taken to wearing the boots, albeit more stylishly.

Dana Jacobson has sported some boots with jeans (gasp!) on a work day.

Despite the anchors' arguable levels of success with the boots, I don't think anyone has been succesful enough so that anything even remotely resembling Hannah Storm's wardrobe should be encouraged. Hannah Storm is the reason why casual day at the office gets canceled. She's ruining it for everybody else.

I suspect that it was the "sausage casing" crack that upset Hannah the most. Tony brutally implied that she was unsightly and unshapely. No woman wants to be compared to pork. Yeah, that would sting. Still, the severity of Tony's punishment leads me to believe that Hannah stomped childishly, yet ironically, clad in her Lolita-ish outfit into her boss' office and pouted at being embarrassed like that. I only have limited sympathy for her. We've all been laughing at Hannah's outfits for awhile now. Whatever attention she's received, she brought on herself.

Tony Kornheiser has standing to criticize someone's wardrobe. Tony is one of the great dressers amongst sports personalities. Tony is not outlandish at all, but he has a classic, consistent style and always looks comfortable in his suits, especially when he wears the sweater vests he tends to prefer. He's not afraid of texture or color. His clothes fit and suit his frame perfectly. He always looks expensive, even with merely 10 or so strands of hair remaining on the sides of his head. Tony Kornheisher is the epitome of "Grandpa Chic." Tony Kornheiser has taste. So its hardly outrageous that the lack thereof in his colleagues may irk him from time to time.

What's also not surprising is that Tony Kornheiser would complain about something. Tony Kornheiser complains about everything. Over the years, he has complained about his lucrative jobs, his co-workers, competitors and culture in general. Tony suffers from a chronic case of old man "I don't give a fuck" fever. It is what it is.

Simply, ESPN has overreacted. Truth is an absolute defense. Still, Kornheiser apologized publicly, privately and effusively. Any suspension, especially one lasting two weeks, is excessive punishment. I don't see the benefit in punishing the viewing audience or one of the most distinctive talents at ESPN over something so petty. Furthermore, the Leader continues to inconsistently punish its talent. It is still not apparent who can say what, when they can say it and about whom they can speak about.

I guess ESPN has their reasons, but much like PTI for the next two weeks, I am in the dark.

Quotables and Dedications

2010-02-23T21:22:00.000-05:00

In which I select hip-hop prose that commemorates sport.

Ludacris comes through with an entire song, "Sexting", dedicated to Tiger Woods.

Well, damn.

Highlights of this song include a re-enactment of Tiger's infamous voicemail message to his mistress and lyrics like these:

"So I'm getting treated for my sex addiction
In a private clinic
And I need you to be sensitive 'bout my condition
Cuz I'm in it to win it
And I really don't wanna further disappoint my fans
And my teacher's a cougar
So I wish she'd lend a helping hand, a helping hand"

from "Sexting" by Ludacris

Quotables and Dedications

2010-02-19T02:06:00.000-05:00

In which I select hip-hop prose that commemorates sport.

The following is dedicated to Eldrick "Tiger" Woods on the day of his first statement since his fall from grace.

"Now your girl might be sick, but my girl's sicker

She rides that d*ck and she handles her liquor

Knock a bitch and fight

Comin' out swingin' like Tiger Woods' wife"

from Ludacris on "My Chick Bad" by Ludacris featuring Nicki Minaj

Quotables and Dedications

2010-02-10T00:57:00.003-05:00

In which I select hip-hop prose that commemorates sport.

"I dedicate this to my n*ggas in New Orleans
Rockin black and gold stocking caps,
Fleur de lis Shockey hats."

from Jay Electronica on "Just Begun" by Reflection Eternal feat. Talib Kweli, Jay Electronica, J. Cole and Mos Def

Everybody Hates An Uppity Negro: How Tiger Woods Has United America

2009-12-08T07:02:00.004-05:00

Tiger Woods' fame is more curse than gift these days. Recently his fame has grown beyond the daytime, prime time and late night confines of The Golf Channel, ESPN or similarly narrowly focused periodicals. He is the number one topic in the sports world, the news world and especially the gossip world. The most liberal critics of any strain of domestic violence and most conservative proponents of marriage chuckle at his situation. Tiger Woods has united all the races and all the viewpoints in humor and disdain. Because it seems, not everyone likes golf, but everybody hates an uppity Negro.

Turns out we were all lying in wait. Waiting for the takedown.

To be sure, Tiger initially caught the side-eye from Blacks when he famously went on The Oprah Winfrey Show and declared himself "cablinasian" (sic, if only because it's a fictitious word). If I went anywhere in this country and described myself as "caublindian" (technically accurate as it may be) people would fall out in laughter and indifference. And this is because, in the real world, I am a Black American. Some of us are mixed by circumstance, some by choice. But many of us are cabla-whatever, and don't relate to someone similarly situated going out of his way to distinguish himself, especially if done with even the slightest air of superiority. The President simultaneously boasts of diverse heritage and a wife who enjoys a hair relaxer from time to time. Such efforts to differntiate have become increasingly meaningless.

So, for the most part, Black journalists, pundits and others have been happy to sit on the sideline. Many of the Blacks not "fortunate" enough to be cablinasians have been happy to point the finger and laugh and laugh at Tiger's tribulation on Twitter, morning shows, water coolers, etc. Even the people frequently willing to strain the limits of intelligence to justify and qualify the most despicable acts of Black athletes (OJ Simpson, anybody?) have barely mustered a defense. Tiger deserved it after all.

The way its played out reveals that EVERYONE knew all along Tiger was a Negro. No wonder he got caught up in a Cadillac Escalade (yes, of course, it had nice rims). Despite his years long effort to go to Their schools, play Their sport and cater to Their press, Tiger couldn't command the actual loyalty of his neighbors, his peers in his sport or even his local Perkins waitress. The parade of people willing to knock Tiger down a peg is perhaps unprecedented for a person of Tiger's wealth and fame. But not for someone of Tiger's race.

On day umpteen of the Cheetah Woods news cycle, even I can see that this piling on of Tiger has been going on far too long. I concede it started with a routine AP story that was so full of holes it was hilarious. However, after we figured out that the story was more than a slow speed crash and a broken window, the story merely became a tale of adultery. Moreover, it's a very typical story of adultery and womanizing, especially as it concerns professional athletes. Alex Rodriguez is famous. He is a womanizer. He once had a wife. Yes, we laughed for a bit. But his story never got the international traction that Tiger's has. Shaquille O'Neal is married. He is an indisputable international superstar. His sloppy womanizing ways were exposed in a NY Times bestseller, testimony from his former teammate, and pages of e-mails and texts with other basketball players' significant others all summer long. Shaquille's philandering has barely gotten a mention in the mainstream press. Does Shaunie O'Neal suffer less than Elin Woods when she is cheated on? Does a Black woman not suffer when she is humiliated? Does a Black woman not deserve a check for spilling her story to a tabloid? At this point, I have to think Alex, Shaq and the like are free to live. Those that, perhaps, stay in their place and don't draw attention to themselves clamoring for inclusion in a world that's not theirs. I can't say that it definitely comes down to being of mixed heritage, having a same race wife or same race mistress or any combination thereof. But the inquiry has merit. Otherwise, someone in the American diaspora would have compassion for Tiger.

I hope this is settled now. Tiger is not wholesome. He is not perfect. Yes, Tiger Woods is famous and the higher they rise, the harder the fall. But, given the way things have transpired, we can never forget that Tiger is a Negro in America. Maybe Tiger actually will feel Negro when he assesses the recent media coverage of him. Perhaps he will feel Black if the Florida authorities decide to charge him with a DWI. Or maybe when his flaxen haired wife abruptly leaves him with their children along with her payout. Perhaps Tiger is uppity. But he is definitely a prick, universally defined. He mistreated his wife and his family. Tiger Woods has disappointed his public - White, Black, Indian and Asian. All along, Tiger has shown us that he is the type of man to hush his fans on the golf course and dispatch press releases if he feels bothered to communicate. So now Tiger is suffering because he can't be himself - uppity, Negro or otherwise. He is so insecure in himself that he can't even sit behind a plastic table, look into the camera and mutter an explanation that's not written by someone else. Maybe he is so detached from societal reality, he hasn't even figured out that he needs to do this. Tiger's situation has played out in such an an extraordinary manner because the American public appreciates genuosity. Tiger conveys none of that. The lesson in all this is to be authentic - whether Black or White. America has spoken.

You Can Find Me On Twitter

2009-12-08T06:54:00.001-05:00

Hi. I just wanted to let anybody concerned that I am active on Twitter. My username is ltma.

An ode to Stephen A. Smith

2009-05-01T12:18:00.004-05:00

Today is Stephen A. Smith's last day at ESPN. According to USA Today, Smith says it made him offers in recent months "for an additional year or two" which he says he turned down before ESPN said simply that it was not renewing his contract. He says he won't look for new work until his contract ends, when he hopes he'll face "a plethora of opportunities."

I recall fondly when my eardrums were first startled by Stephen A. It was on the insufferable NBA Tonight or whatever it was called back in the day featuring the already checked out Kevin Frazier and some other guys I can't remember. But that was the thing. Stephen stood out. He had shine from the jump. Not just because he was louder than Billy Mays promoting Orange-Glo, but because he knew his basketball (and sports in general, to be clear). And he was passionate. I could never hate on somebody who was just genuinely enthused to give his fellow sports fans informed analysis. Sure, my eardrums wanted him to shut the fuck up, but I never stopped listening. He always had something to say that was worth listening to. That's why I wanted him to stop yelling. It just wasn't necessary. His knowledge reverberated without the volume. But during the golden age of ESPN, you had to be loud to be heard over the likes of Sean Salisbury and Michael Irvin. Closed mouths don't get fed and it was survival of the loudest at ESPN.

Stephen always had his critics. NY Post columnist Phil Mushnick recently called "a self-promoting, race-based gasbag". In tribute, I presume. Mushnick claims Smith "was just dumped for being a self-promoting, self-aggrandizing, self-congratulatory, race-hustling, blowhard and sports know-nothing." Ironically, only a know-nothing would call Stephen A. a know-nothing. And Stephen A. has never been a race baiter. Instead he is open and proud about being a representative of a particular demographic. Smith's agenda was never a secret. I always found that honesty refreshing, you know, because I'm always willing to listen to different perspectives. And I definitely preferred Stephen A.'s alleged propaganda in contrast to the cornucopia of closeted racists that litter the ESPN stage and the at-large mainstream sports media.

It's too bad that ESPN is getting rid of all its edgier personalities. The channel is so bland now, I even miss Sean Salisbury. ESPN enraged and annoyed me oftentimes, but it at least it entertained me. Now there's very little must see programming on the channel and is barely informative beyond news I could get from the Associated Press. Smith was one of ESPN's last remaining true "personalities" and Smith's departure from the channel is an event worth marking. Stephen A. certainly left an impression. Not many job changes are evidenced by a column in USA Today, a jealous rant in the NY Post and numerous mentions around the blogosphere.

As Stephen A. moves on from ESPN, he reflects that "'finally people notice I don't scream nearly as much as I used to.' (That resulted from his mother Janet forcefully asking him to 'explain why you have to be so loud.')" Stop lying, bruh. You are still loud as hell. I have been startled many a morning since he started screaming at Skip Bayless on First Take. Nevertheless, Stephen A. has undoubtedly inspired rage, respect and comedy gold amongst his audience, often all at the same times. He's a bit triangle-headed and more than a bit loud, but I always respected and enjoyed Stephen A. Smith, even when it was too early in the morning for him to be yelling like that. I don't mean to eulogize like the brother is dead. He will be resurrected in a new and hopefully better venue. And I look forward to his next venture (fingers crossed for the TNT Inside the NBA desk). I'm sure he'll holla at us when he's ready for us to listen up again.

Fashion Round Up - Holiday Finery

2008-12-30T23:31:00.006-05:00

Your favorite sports heroes were feeling particularly swaggerific for the holidays. And as 2008 closes, it's important to feel thankful for all the fashion blessings of the year passed. And let me offer tremendous gratitude to the man that inspired the reappearance of the world renowned Fashion Round-Up... the one and only Gilbert Arenas. And he's wearing an ascot! And he's serious!

I think Gilbert actually pulls this ascot off. It's so outrageous, it's fantastic! The key to pulling off any ridiculous element like an ascot is to keep the rest of the ensemble understated. And Gilbert does just that, pairing his unique snowflake patterned neck wear with a well tailored blue pinstriped suit. Honestly, Gilbert makes me swoon. I was so enthralled by Gil's ascot, I almost didn't notice Craig Sager's snowman tie. Almost. Sager rises every morning to defile the fashion gods of Brioni, Versace or whoever else he's wearing. You wouldn't believe it, but he spends a lot of money on his clothes.

It wouldn't be Christmas without a tacky sweater and let me present our model - Jared Allen.

Jared got his mullet all lined up and put on his finest holiday knitwear for an interview on the NFL Network. Yep, that's one of the toughest men in the NFL

Jillian Reynolds sports fuchsia ruffles and tights for the holidays.

And her shoes are only slightly stripperish. Tights and semi-dignified shoes? Jillian is not known for such restraint. Her priest must have been in the studio.

Pam Oliver chases the dragon.

Was it a good idea, Pam? I think you can do better.

Deion is a shell of his former fashion self since his nemesis, Michael Irvin, went off the air. But he makes an acceptable attempt to flaunt his holiday best with red pinstripes.

Tony Romo wears black in mourning of his promise as a strong leader and winning quarterback. That dream is dead now.

He should just save his sporty hat money and wear paper bags so he can cover his face in shame.

Is it just me, or does Stuart Scott have the testicular fortitude to sneak a fauxhawk past his employer?

He's supposed to be a professional!

Lebron got new shoes for Christmas (and a backscratcher).

Ugly. There's no denying it.

And Bryant Gumbel went green for the holiday sporting a Chia Pet haute couture original. His jacket is growing? Or sprouting maybe??? Or screaming, "Ch-ch-ch-chia?"

Just another instance of "When Designer Goes Wrong." Obviously, he and Sager have been drunk shopping together. Bryant had the nerve to call that jacket "festive" on the year end wrap up of Real Sports. I guess...

Happy New Year, everybody!

Crocodile Tears: Lisa Leslie Cries For No Reason

2008-07-29T17:19:00.006-05:00

When I saw Lisa Leslie cry after the girlfight between the LA Sparks and the Detroit Shock, I instinctively knew a couple of things.

One. Rick Mahorn would get suspended for longer than he deserved. He made contact with Lisa Leslie, but not with malice. But I knew Lisa's tearful whimpers would get him more punishment than he deserved.

Two. Lisa's tears weren't tantamount to general attention by the American public. Like a wife crying to her husband for the umpteenth time , "Oh, honey, you don't understand me..." Just another case of crocodile tears as far as most of us are concerned.

I'm not sure why Lisa was crying in the first place. A fight in the midst of sporting competition is not sad. The AIDS epidemic in Africa is sad. Mariah Carey's insistence on dressing like a 13 year old girl is sad. There's nothing sad about spontaneous physical combustion in the heat of battle. Contrary to what most analysts choose to proclaim, I, a sports fan, love a good fight.

Frankly, the WNBA blew a good opportunity.

From what I saw, the WNBA ladies fight better than they dunk. I legitimately held my breath as I prayed that no tracks got pulled out during the dust up. Nobody wants to see hair all over the court. But, still, I only saw the fight because the channel was left on Mike and Mike from the morning. That's the sad, sad attention threshold that the WNBA faces. Mike and Mike. The league needs to be honest about that.

Despite the fisticuffs and the singular attention the league got for a moment, the WNBA fight was replaced the very next day with a minor league baseball brawl. And very little columnist wordcount was devoted to the fight. In the coming days, women's sports will be mentioned, but the WNBA will have little to do with it. Instead the talk will be Olympic women's sports. Swimming, volleyball, even dressage. And as little attention as we pay to the WNBA, fight or no, dressage is barely a sport at all.

I'm not saying the WNBA should change it's name to UFC Femme, but they should have embraced a more sophisticated approach for keeping the girlfight story going. Tears and "we don't want that kind of attention" is not enough. Real talk. They league needs the attention. And, no, stunt casting with Nancy Lieberman making a comeback as a 50 year old is not better than attention from a fight.

WNBAers like Lisa Leslie and league president, Donna Orender, moaned that the league didn't want to be known for violence. The WNBA has their moral superiority and basketball fundamentals, but no audience.

Beggars can't be choosers.

Fashion Round Up - 2008 ESPYs

2008-07-18T21:06:00.000-05:00

First, a moment of silence for the most recent victims of Grandpa Chic.

Matt Leinart stops at the Espys on the way to read a bedtime story to his grandkids and Brady Quinn stops off before shuffleboard with the seniors on the lido deck. Guys, you're still young! If I see another goddamn sweater in the summertime...

Paul Pierce throws up his gang signs, per his custom. That doesn't mean "peace." It's the sign for the very dangerous and notorious Bowler Hat Gang. The BHG runs the streets, yo. Don't let him catch you slippin' with a derby or fedora on. The commissioner won't be able to save you.

Paul's the very reason why the NFLers are being monitored for gang activity now. If Braylon Edwards can't wear colors or throw signs, he will wear glitter! Braylon can't make up his mind. Is he a bedazzled rat packer? Is he a world champion wrestler? (look at the belt)

And he is feeling himself in this ridiculous get up. Here's a bonus pic so you can keep laughing at/be seduced by this sparkly clown.

Kate Walsh is happy to stand next to Terrell Owens in his white shawl collared jacket over gray shadow striped pants.

Rajon Rondo does his best imitation of T.O.'s white trimmed jacket. However, Rondo is no T.O. The jacket is too big, but he just doesn't have the build and height to pull off a look with so many elements.

Lisa Leslie will dunk on you, then take your order. Would you like a fork or chopsticks with that?

I think Candace is tempted to pat Helio on the top of his head. Not only is this picture hilarious, but Candace Parker looks great, especially for a 18 foot tall woman.

Steve Nash is very nattily dressed in three piece plaid. Samuel L. is part of the Bowler Hat Gang too.

Greg Oden gets his Kanye West/Retarded Ray Charles on.

Shaun Phillips commissioned a satin suit. That suit reflects so much sunlight, I think he could be a potential solution to the energy crisis. Al Gore would give this look two thumbs up.

Venus was the best dressed woman at the event.

The Beckhams make it look easy for the rest of the fashion challenged suckers on the carpet. Love the spread collar on Dave.

**** Bonus points for counting the number of white shoes on grown men in this post. The number is disturbing.

And So It Begins...

2008-07-16T23:59:00.004-05:00

The 2008 Espys have been taped and there was plenty of fashion foolishness at hand. But before the show even began in earnest, the tone was set.

Terrell "Birdman" Owens

I mean, really? WTF?

And, ladies and gentlemen, Jacksonville Jaguars wide receiver Reggie Williams. He is going to war for fashion I suppose. It's just unfortunate that the camouflage doesn't succeed in concealing him.

There will be a complete review of the fashion foolishness from the show imminently.

An Emerging Epidemic

2008-07-16T22:51:00.005-05:00

In my last post, I cited a fashion "trend" that emerged at the NBA draft that I dubbed "Grandpa Chic." Sweater vests are an important part of the Grandpa Chic trend. So is anything that might sell well in Boca Raton or appear in the Best Values section of the JC Penney catalog. I hoped the trend was just a temporary misstep of the yunguns. I was in denial like Al Reynolds.

Two of the most typically dependable sports fashionistas - Dwyane Wade and Alonzo Mourning - get their Grandpa on at Zo's Summer Groove this past weekend.

But being the fashion forward types that they are, they up the ante on Grandpa Chic. Alonzo rocks the cheesy Hawaiian shirt. And both Zo and Dwyane rock the old man belt at their respective natural waists.

And, as Reggie Bush reveals, getting all booed up ages you.

Where is his swagger? Kim K looks her age, but Reggie threw on the first clean sweater vest he found on the floor of his closet. Something tells me Reggie left this party early so he could get to bed. That's what a Grandpa would do.

Fashion Round Up - NBA Draft 2008

2008-06-26T23:29:00.001-05:00

The NBA draft is exhibit A in why these young men need to stay in school. We all know the ESPYs are the new NBA Draft. The teenagers obviously have no time to develop a sense of style between freshman orientation and October (when they sign with their agent) of same year. Soon the draft will be business casual. They will show up to Madison Square Garden in polo shirts and dockers. Just no effort.

Still, there were a few people that tried. And there was even a theme. I call it Grandpa Chic.

The NBA is not just for the youth. It's for the pepaws too!

For the record, I'm not necessarily praising Grandpa Chic. I'm just saying.

At first I thought this was just a tight ass vest.

But this is an actual SWEATER vest sported by Eric Gordon in the NBA draft portraits. But his idea wasn't original.

Michael Beasley also decided to fall prey to the Grandpa Chic phenomenon. Two sweater vests in one draft? Really?!

OJ Mayo is my best dressed of the night, but he was a little Grandpa-ey too.

What are those like $500 frames? With no prescription? You can see, OJ! Son, we haven't done that since high school when the folks were rocking Cazals. Still, the spectacles and the three piece suit gets him lumped in with the teenage pepaws. But the suit is fantastic. Well fitted and coordinated. I love the touch of sateen in the fabric. The camera loves the shine. Plus he has confidence. And OJ's draft portrait solidified him as the best dressed.

I love the color combination and boldness. And the extra large pocket square. You can never go wrong with a pocket square. At the end of the day, OJ Mayo has swagger. His style will be wasted on Minnesota. He had South Beach written all over him.

Like I said, a few others made an effort.

It took long as hell for Darrell Arthur to get drafted, but he looked great while waiting. This suit looks nicely neutral in the photo, but it was slightly garish on TV.

One of the Lopez twins (Robin) had trouble finding a hat that fit.

His brother, Brook, showed up to the draft looking like a extra tall cone of sherbert (choose your flavor!).

No wonder he fell in the draft.

And a few other notables.

Eric Gordon took a risk with the white on black. The jacket was paired with a black shirt with white pinstripes. It was interesting.

DJ Augustin looked great. Gray paired with a bold shirt/tie combo. Not bad.

Jerryd Bayless rocked the cream on cream. Not spectacular, but classic.

In any case, it's sad when an NBA Draft fashion review needs to be supplemented.

The tennis people always love to show out.

Sharapova's white tuxedo outfit was cute. Not scandalous. But clean, classic, and a lot of detail in the construction. I love it.

Serena Williams didn't need the trench coat on the court, but maybe the extra layers have kept her in the running at Wimbledon, unlike some people.

Venus Williams looks elegant in couture for her star turn in Koto Bolufo's book, "Venus."

And to close, Dwyane "Beat it. Beat it. No one wants to be defeated." Wade. Keep that new draft pick off of Ocean Drive and you might be able to win more than 3 games next season, shawty.

And, while totally un fashion related, shout out to Roy Hibbert. He got drafted in the first round. He probably would have gone earlier in the draft if he left last year, but he wanted to stay at Georgetown. The Hoya faithful appreciates you.

Hitching a Ride...

2008-04-29T11:00:00.004-05:00

I wouldn't be an Atlantan if I didn't jump on the bandwagon. Atlanta is home of the consumate fairweather fan, so it's my native predisposition.

Because, truthfully, I laughed when I got a solicitation for playoff tickets two weeks before the regular season ended. It seemed the Hawks could've just gone to a bank if they needed someone to float them money for a few days.

But those guys closed things out. I always liked ZaZa Pachulia and the Joshes, but I thought Coach Mike Woodson was dead weight. You see, the Hawks should've made the playoffs two years ago. But this Mike Bibby thing is apparently working out. And, miraculously, the Hawks have won two games over the anointed Boston Celtics. And - I fully support TNT's decision to dedicate a camera to the frustrated face of Doc Rivers.

And the Atlanta fans may be fairweather, but they are crunk. Undoubtedly, the enthusiasm of the fans is the elevating the play of the Hawks. We are surprised, but we are genuinely excited for the team.

So, I'm on the bandwagon too. Hell yeah, Kevin Garnett should be suspended and go Hawks!

Moving On

2008-04-29T10:54:00.002-05:00

Okay, I need a snappy comeback, somebody. I give up.

I have been a proponent of Michael Vick's return to the Atlanta Falcons.

But, today, there are some things I know to be true.

Like that Roger Clemens is a cheater and a whore.

And that Michael Vick is probably not going to be a Falcon again.

When the Falcons selected Boston College QB Matt Ryan with the #3 pick, it became clear the Falcons organization is moving on. And moving away from Michael.

I don't think picking Matt Ryan was a good move. I don't think many professional or armchair analysts expect Matt Ryan is a franchise savior. He is not highly projected to be an excellent quarterback. He was merely the best available. Maybe the Falcons don't need Michael Vick, but they need way more than a quarterback. The organization could have solidified the team with other position players. We need everything. The Falcons should have used the draft to build a team, not just replace the old quarterback. But the Falcons punked out, as usual.

Picking Matt Ryan was an image decision, not a football decision. And the inability to make football decisions is the reason why the Falcons can't put up a winning record more than one season in row. Remember, Brett Favre used to be a Falcon.

See, Arthur Blank got found out. Once it was reported that he and the Falcons organization were maintaining communication with Michael Vick while he was in prison, people started to put two and two together. Maybe the Falcons were going to wait it out. Maybe they weren't prepared to sacrifice Vick just to try to please certain people. After all, they have no more recourse in recouping the signing bonus they gave him. Why release him without compensation or trade him for a low round pick? The best way to get a return for the inconvenience is to make Michael pay up on the field of the Georgia Dome. He sells seats and merchandise and he even wins sometimes. It could be a relatively straightforward decision.

But the ever image conscious Arthur Blank got found out. Keeping his options open with the outcast Vick might have been the smart thing to do. But Blank doesn't have the balls to make tough football decisions. A football team can not be built on image alone. Blank is determined to prove otherwise.

Maybe Ryan will be a successful addition to the Falcons. I suspect he will be Joey Harrington redux. Nevertheless, despite the new quarterback, the Falcons still have the same problems with the fanbase they had the day before the draft. The season ticket waiting list is a distant memory. In fact, season ticket packages are now available for a mere $250. The Falcons are discounting 30,000 seats in order to encourage fans to attend the games. And I doubt Ryan jerseys are flying off the shelves.

The shallow attempt to "move on" with Matt Ryan only reinforces that the Michael Vick informs a lot of the decision making in the Falcons front office.

Ironically, Michael Vick is still running this team.

The Fall of Chad Johnson

2008-04-22T20:59:00.003-05:00

It was inevitable.

The good tidings weren't going to last. Now, like many Black men before him, Chad's just a statistic now.

Many in the mainstream press regarded Chad Johnson as a consumate entertainer. Soon, he'll be derided as a flashy egomaniac. Now he's just like those other malcontents. Another Terrell Owens. Another "disgruntled" spotlight grabbing, quarterback betraying, diva wide receiver only looking out for himself.

To the mainstream press, at least.

Carson Palmer has given up on Chad. TJ Houshmanzadeh has accepted the inevitable. Marvin Lewis is ready to move on.

The Sporting News' Vinnie Iyer sums up the "new" Chad.

Stop me if you've heard this before: uber-talented wide receiver, unhappy with his organization, coach and quarterback, wants out...

Johnson doesn't understand the team concept, where one player isn't above everyone else. The Bengals need to prove they believe that themselves by looking at the subtraction of the selfish Johnson as an addition in itself -- even if that means letting him languish on the bench while they wait for a good offer to come along.

Yeah, we've been there done that. Another ungrateful Black guy in the NFL. Not content to go where he's led with "dignity," say, like, Drew Bledsoe.

The Bengals are so determined to keep Chad in his place they've already refused inquiries (or offers, depending on where you get your news) from the Redskins, Cowboys and the Eagles.

Still, Johnson bucks. Chad insists he's only being himself. His ability to be a smiling, content caricature has diminished. Time will only tell if he we will accepted by the public as a man and not a solely as a source of amusement and sideline antics.

Maybe they want me to quiet down [and] stop being me. That is not going to happen. I can't function that way. I tried it. It sucked.
Thus far, no one seems amused by the outspoken, self-assured Chad Johnson. When Chad was the court jester, the audience delighted. But now that he wants to repackage himself as a self-interested grown man, no one is clapping. The comedy is fine, but nobody wants the drama.

Chad Johnson is a Black man gone serious. Suddenly, he's not as popular as he once was.

Yeah, it was inevitable.

Jackie Robinson Day

2008-04-15T00:01:00.001-05:00

April 15th is Jackie Robinson Day throughout Major League Baseball.

The occasion will be celebrated with on field ceremonies, scholarship donations to the Robinson Fund and all the other pleasantries and tributes that are deserved by an American hero.

It is ironic that on the day that Jackie Robinson's role in integrating Major League baseball is remembered, some rosters in major league baseball will be absent of a single Black American player. In that context, Torii Hunter of the Anaheim Angels feels the tributes ring hollow, especially when it comes to wearing Robinson's #42 jersey.

"When you have a team that doesn't have any African American players on the team, and then everybody on the team wears it, yes, it's watered down, because they don't have blacks to represent Jackie Robinson over there.

It's pretty weird. That's just my opinion."

MLB Commissioner Bud Selig feels that MLB's celebration is appropriate.

"It transcends all that. Jackie Robinson coming into baseball is the most powerful and most meaningful moment in baseball history. To honor Jackie Robinson by wearing his number, I think, is the greatest compliment you can pay."

Perhaps.

Still, Jackie Robinson is not an excuse for mainstream America to romanticize and even commercialize Black heroes of the Civil Rights era to the extent that the significance of their impact on society is watered down.

One has to wonder whether the Jackie Robinson legacy is really understood. Will his legacy be given its due in the Robert Redford/ESPN movie soon to be made out of his life? Robert Redford, with the approval of Jackie's widow Rachel, will portray Branch Rickie in the life story of Jackie Robinson. ESPN will collaborate in producing the movie. With Redford as the headliner, the movie may turn out to be more of a testament to the "struggles" of Rickie more so than Robinson.

The same league that perhaps celebrates Robinson in rose-colored historical theory is the same league that is presently content to see another Black-American hero, Barry Bonds, in career exile. Presently, it is not known whether Bonds' value will extend beyond the $376,000 his last home run ball sold for at auction. Bonds has given as much to baseball as any player, yet he is barely acknowledged these days. Ironically, Barry's sins may ultimately be defined and put into perspective by the similar sins of a White player, Roger Clemens. Without the parallel transgression, logic can't allow Barry to remain a pariah, even in the minds of the most prejudiced. Indeed, I think Jackie Robinson would expect a Black man to be judged on his own in this day and age.

Jackie Robinson integrated the major leagues. Genuine integration means more than just the inclusion of a particular race, although Robinson would probably be surprised to learn that Blacks comprise barely 8% of major league rosters. True integration also refers to the inclusion and celebration of difference. Baseball should include all its heroes - those as "surly" as Bonds and those as "classy" as Robinson. MLB can't pretend that Barry Bonds doesn't exist any more than it can deny that some major league rosters lack a single Black-American player in the year 2008. Not unless they want to overlook the real meaning of Jackie Robinson day.

Like me, Torii Hunter feels that #42 is more than just a fashion statement.

Not a Movie

2008-04-07T19:53:00.007-05:00

I am excited to hear that Michael Vick is "practicing" his quarterback skills by playing prison football. Only a Falcons fan could be so pathetic as to consider the Leavenworth Penitentiary's production of "The Longest Yard" as positive omen for the team's future. But, certainly, Vick's homage to Burt Reynolds suggests he has a future with the Falcons. And, consequently, the Falcons have a future.

Anyone who thinks the Falcons can just move on post-Vick is naive. The Falcons faithful is a blingy crowd. We want excitement on the field. And Joey Harrington (or even alleged prospective draft pick Boston College quarterback Matt Ryan) just isn't going to cut it. 8-8 or not, Vick is a superstar and season ticket and jersey sales and fan interest reflected same. The fans already voted with their feet during the 2007 season. But 2008 might be more tolerable knowing that 2009 might beget #7.

And time heals all wounds. The dogs have been adopted out to loving homes and a once bitter team owner Arthur Blank has even become pen pals with Michael Vick! Blank has even lightened up about the situation so much that he's even using off color prison sex jokes when talking about Michael.

"Apparently, there was a prison football team and he played quarterback for both sides.”

Yeah, we all know Mike won't be the same after prison, Blank.

Still, Michael is practicing his accuracy and is hopefully enjoying better receivers and protection than he had in Atlanta. (I mean that in the football sense.)

Seriously, according to Blank, Michael is working hard toward self-improvement. And Blank is willing to help him.

"I just try to be supportive and as understanding as I can be. He talks about the process he is going through and what he has learned, the lessons of life, how he's going to come out a different person. He's sorry he has affected so many people in a negative way — the league, our club, our fans. He feels awful about that. The letters sound quite sincere to me. From a mental standpoint, he sounds good.

I told Michael I'll do whatever I can to be helpful to him personally. Nothing to do with the Atlanta Falcons. He's a human being and I would like to reach out and if I can be productive to him in some way, I would be happy to do that."

Michael Vick is still a member of the Falcons roster and there seems to be a slight glimmer of hope that he may be on the field in red and black as soon as he is allowed. Kevin Winston, the Falcons' senior director of player development, has visited Vick several times in prison. Frankly, the Falcons have no choice but to maintain ties and figure out how to recoup $16 million in pre-paid bonuses that Vick doesn't have to return. Even Blank concedes, "I'd love to see him playing again in the NFL. I would love to see him back in society where he can make a difference and go back to some of these communities and talk to some of these young folks about the impact of choices — choices he personally made about people he was with and choices he made about his own actions. That would be important.” Sure, those might be empty words designed to bolster Vick's trade value. But they might be an indication of the realization that Vick's greatest value to Blank is on the field - playing as a Falcon.

Without a doubt, Vick is getting picked first every time when the guys line up on the prison yard. "Uhhh, yeah, lemme get that dude." It's a no brainer. And if Vick is available to the Falcons in a year or so, I hope Blank calls 7's number. I look forward to that day. I just want to win and have some fun as a Falcons fan. So, yeah, lemme get that dude.

Fingers crossed.

Source

Free Mike Vick!

2007-12-12T04:58:00.000-05:00

Kidding.

I've never liked Roddy White. And the unveiling of his homemade "Free Mike Vick" shirt on Monday Night Football was proof positive that he needs to focus on catching footballs and not ghettotastic craft projects.

Indeed, Mike Vick has to do his time. He'll be freed in 23 or so months. And that's soon enough. I'm not totally comfortable that so many resources have gone toward a crime without an obvious human victim or that $1 million in restitution was set aside for the care of dogs, but Vick was sentenced fairly. He didn't get sentenced to lethal injection. He'll have plenty of time to get on with his life after the fact.

From the time of the initial rumblings of criminal activity to the indictment to the plea to the sentencing, you'd think plenty of time would have passed for me to finally be angry at Michael Vick. I'll admit he's almost ruined my NFL season. I love the NFL generally, but love starts at home. And with my hometown team in turmoil, it's hard. And this year all the pundits can unanimously agree the Falcons underachieved because of Michael Vick.

But how can I be wholeheartedly angry at somebody so dumb? And since the time of the initial rumblings, indictment, etcetera, it's become increasingly apparent that Michael Vick is as simpleminded as they come. Back in the spring, I wondered why the Virginia property wasn't cleared of evidence once it was known Vick's cousin caught a case. I wondered why Vick wasn't more upfront in the initial police and NFL investigations. I wondered why Vick allowed the other defendants to flip on him. I was stupefied when I found out he decided he couldn't forego weed after he plead out to the charges. I was puzzled when I noticed Vick didn't even bother to remove the kennels and other canine accoutrement from the Virginia property before he sold it, allowing the new owner to hold an open house of canine macabre for the general public. And I was flat out floored when I learned that Michael lied to federal agents and failed a polygraph test concerning his involvement in the whole mess.

Nice try on the early surrender, the prompt restitution and the contrite statements, but Vick's stupidity ultimately sealed his fate in the eyes of the judge.

And because I suspect Vick is more stupid than evil, I still have empathy for him. Michael Vick is gone for now. I have no doubt he will play football again. He'll be young enough and the NFL will always need athletes. If Favre, Testaverde and Warner can play quarterback, so can Michael Vick. Arthur Blank said the Falcons were moving on, but he didn't actually say Vick would never play for the team again. I would wager New England Patriot odds that the Falcons will still be in turmoil in 2009, so there's no need for the Falcons to completely close that door especially if they actually want to recoup their financial losses from Vick's absence.

Furthermore, I still hold out hope that Michael Vick is more ignorant than stupid... That he has learned and that he will learn from his mistakes. Until then, I am left only to mourn my hometown team, ponder the relative dignity of a courtroom artist's sketch versus a mugshot and pray that Michael doesn't become a full blown Quincy Carter/Maurice Clarett statistic. And I await to see what Mike knows in 2009.

State of the Falcons - Week 11

2007-11-19T16:42:00.000-05:00

And to think, I almost missed the masterpiece between the Falcons and the Bucs. But out benevolent owner, Arthur Blank, saved us from the tragedy of yet another TV blackout by ~~forcing~~ asking the Falcons' business partners to purchase the unsold tickets. Thank you, suh. The Falcons fans are so grateful. Instead of enjoying a competitive substitution game, we had to sit through a near blowout of 31-7.

Falcons fans have gone crazy. They booed starter Byron Leftwich and cheered when Joey Harrington was inserted into the game. Who chants for Joey Harrington? Who cheers when 13 runs onto the field? Only the desperate.

Now the Falcons have yet another quarterback controversy, after Coach Petrino promised a healthy Byron Leftwich would be the Falcons starter. Yet after Leftwich's "performance" of 15 of 28 passes for 106 yards and 2 interceptions, Joey is back in the running for starter. Harrington, meanwhile, completed 16-of-20 passes for 139 yards and a touchdown (in garbage time). He said he would no longer contemplate why the starting job was taken from him and would accept whatever Petrino had in store.

Eh, wno cares? The Colts are going to beat the brakes off of the Falcons next week no matter who the quarterback is.

Unless Michael Vick was still around.

Michael Vick was the best quarterback in the world. No, I'm not just saying that out of romantic revisionist wistfulness. It's true. Looking back, I can't remember a single misthrown pass, a single interception, a single bad scramble, a single injury or any bad decisions at all on Michael Vick's part. And there will be no more fanciful tall tales of his adventures in my Falcons recap because he's in jail.
It's really real now. Vick did some bad things, but he did good things too. And I'll be glad to greet him on the other side. Hopefully, on a Sunday afternoon. But any day soon will do.

Goodell the Warden?

2007-11-13T13:44:00.000-05:00

When Roger Goodell's days as NFL commissioner are over, he may want to consider a career in corrections. He seems to have a knack for herding young men into the correctional system.

While Adam Jones and Michael Vick initially transgressed of their own volition, it is obvious that the scourges of the NFL fear the ultimate judgment of Roger Goodell. So much so that they volunteer to become statistics of the judicial system, even when it may have not been necessary. The men just want to get back on the field. And if that means they have to do a little probation or even a little jail time, so be it.

Pacman Jones' attorney, Manny Arora, freely admitted that staying in the NFL's good graces was priority number one.

While I think we would've been successful at trial, it could've been six months to a year away, and he may have lost another year of eligibility by going forward. In the real world, sometimes you have to make these difficult decisions for what's best for your career, and we didn't want this dragging on any further."

Indeed, the odds were good that Jones would have been successful at trial. The Las Vegas prosecutor weakly charged him with felony coercion. Coercion doesn't have the teeth of assault or some of the more serious accusations the family of Tommy Urbanski might accuse Jones of. So the prosecutor did the best he could. Frankly, a charge of coercion was just indicative that there wasn't much substantial evidence that Pacman's presence at the Las Vegas strip club directly contributed to the serious consequences that befell the victims.

Still, not only was Jones willing to accept a plea in order to appease the NFL, he accepted too much punishment on the lesser charge. Jones ended up pleading guilty to conspiracy to commit disorderly conduct - a gross misdemeanor. Yet he accepted a full year of suspended sentence, probation, anger management classes, AND 200 hours of community service. That's pretty excessive compromise for a plea on a misdemeanor charge. But no punishment is greater than being kept of the field. No judge, prosecutor or probation officer needs to be pleased more than Roger Goodell. Apparently, Jones and his legal team thought the plea was worthwhile in that it would put the incident behind Pacman and appease Goodell. And Goodell had to know Jones was working on a plea deal when he refused to reinstate him just days before. The plea wasn't sufficient contrition on that day, but hopefully Jones' plea won't go completely unnoticed when he faces Goodell's judgment again.

And Michael Vick has taken the kowtowing even further. He didn't even gamble on the slim hope that the judge would sentence him to probation instead of jail on December 10. Vick just voluntarily went to jail. So figure a year of official sentence. Take away a couple of months for good behavior and a month in a halfway house... OMG! Vick could be available in the summer of 2008. And that's exactly the circumstance he wants Roger Goodell to have to deal with so that Vick can return to his career as soon as possible. Goodell is also obviously Vick's number one priority.

It's chilling to realize Michael Vick has become a man so desperate he would relinquish his freedom to please Roger Goodell.

The evidence isn't conclusive yet, but sociologists may need to take a look at Goodell as yet another socioeconomic factor increasing chances for young men ending up in the correctional system. It's not Goodell's fault that grown men cross the law, but I hope Goodell has considered that he could opt to let the judicial system be the sole arbiter of punishment. Not to mention the court of public opinion. Men who transgress society will suffer. And I hope Roger Goodell does not sleep easy at night, knowing that he gave a gentle shove to certain men into the correctional system.

I don't see any reason why any man shouldn't have the opportunity to exonerate himself without fear of losing his livelihood forever. I don't worry that men like Jones or Vick will not receive enough punishment, especially not that they deserve Goodell's condemnation. Because in life, what goes around comes around. And when Goodell sleeps easy at night, he should know the same applies to the crooked warden.

Better Late Than Never

2007-11-12T01:46:00.001-05:00

Some people have decided to help themselves.

Michael Vick has fired one of the attorneys who has been representing him concerning federal dogfighting charges. Recently filed court records reveal that Daniel Meachum is no longer representing Vick. Mr. Meachum is an attorney from Atlanta. Vick's attorneys from Washington, DC and Virginia remain on the payroll. There has been no additional comment from the Vick camp, so one can only imagine why Meachum was sacked. Maybe he was the weakest link. Maybe Vick is just cutting costs. Still, it can only be heralded as a positive step that Vick is tweaking his team of advisers. Vick has to date compounded the disaster of dogfighting with the mismanagement of his public image, finances and career. Not only are there less cooks in the kitchen as far as Michael's legal team goes, here's hoping the remaining advisers demonstrate an improved ability to counsel Vick through his mess.

And some people are getting help from others.

Gene Upshaw has finally decided to do some work. The NFLPA has decided to appeal the NFL's decision to not grant early reinstatement to Adam "Pacman" Jones. The NFLPA should have protested when the NFL suspended Jones for nebulous reasons 9 games ago. Now they're stuck in the difficult position of backtracking after they've allowed precedent to be set. The NFLPA has not given any specific reason for the sudden interest in Jones. Perhaps Upshaw has recently become familiar with the definition of a union. Maybe he has figured out that the defense of a union member should not be selective or slow. Union members should be defended vigorously and unconditionally by their representatives - whether or not they make it rain. Apparently the union now thinks Jones' punishment is excessive. Pity they didn't foresee this months ago.

Both the scourges of the NFL are getting help with their situations. The holidays must be near.

Fashion Round Up - Noticing Those Who Dress To Be Seen

2007-11-11T23:28:00.000-05:00

Yes, Choo Choo. Hold your head down in shame. You are a clown, Clinton Portis. Although I applaud your mission to encourage the Redskins to celebrate in the endzone, there was no need to bring the ruffles into this. Or the hair. And you have offended too many cultures to name.

Serena Williams has exponentially improved her styling lately. Her new hair style is fantastic. She even looks sexy in her super short bubble dress.

Yet, sister Venus struggles with the proper execution of her new short hair do. And I hope going out in public without make-up doesn't negatively affect sales of her new Dave & Barry's clothing line.

Jillian Reynolds has finally abandoned her inexplicable obsession with dresses with pockets...

To begin a new obsession with empire waist dresses that are better suited for summer. Everybody sing along. Purple rain, purple rain...

The men on the Fox set have yet to meet a pattern or texture they wouldn't pair together.

Deion's getting old. He shows off his gray chinny chin chin.

Shannon Sharpe is a little bit bold with paisley and stripe pairings.

Daryl Johnston is coordinated in brown from suit to overcoat.

Michael Strahan looks so lonely walking through London alone. At least he has his scarf.

Michael Wilbon randomly steps it up on PTI. The next day he was back to mock turtlenecks. I enjoyed the pocket square while it lasted.

And, finally, it looks like a certain King of Pop wants to take A-Rod's place. You never know... He had hops back in the day. If you can't have championship rings, you might as well have flair... and glittered fielder's gloves.

Falcons Cheerleader vs. Da Brat

2007-11-08T00:38:00.000-05:00

Not only is the season going poorly for the Atlanta Falcons on the field, the bad fortune has drifted over to the ladies on the sidelines.

One of the Atlanta Falcons cheerleaders, Shayla Smith, was the victim in an alleged assault at the nightclub Studio 72 by rapper Da Brat. Brat used to be a talented rapper, but nowadays she's mostly known for reality show stints like Surreal Life. Da Brat is accused of hitting Shayla over the head with a broken bottle after an argument ensued.

Shayla worked at the nightclub as a waitress when she wasn't dancing for the Falcons. Da Brat was arrested after the incident and is out on $50,000 bond. Shayla is presumably recovering from her injuries. The Falcons have issued a statement that they are treating the incident as a private, family matter. There is no word on when Shayla will be able to return to the sidelines.

Babineaux Cleared

2007-11-08T00:05:00.000-05:00

Animal cruelty charges against Atlanta Falcons defensive tackle Jonathan Babineaux have been dropped by suburban Atlanta authorities. In February, Babineaux was charged with killing his girlfriend's pit bull mix. An autopsy concluded that the dog died from blunt force trauma to the head. It was alleged that Babineaux had hit the dog in the head with a hammer after fighting with his girlfriend. However, further investigation could not rule out that the dog died from hitting the wall after being spun around on a leash. The dog had a history of unprovoked attacks and a dog trainer had instructed Babineaux to spin the dog on a leash when it became aggressive. So, it seems Babineaux isn't cruel, just too stupid enough to realize that too much spinning makes you uncontrollably dizzy.

So, I guess I'll need a new double standard to harp on when I complain about Michael Vick. Sigh. Like I don't have enough to do.

No Love For the Pacman

2007-11-07T23:19:00.000-05:00

It didn't really come as a surprise, but NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell declined to reinstate Adam "Pacman" Jones before the season ended. And it's certainly no surprise that Roger Goodell has issued another nonsensical edict. Jared Allen gets to come back from his suspension early. Andy Reid gets to live in a drug emporium. Pacman is forced to sit out a whole year for reasons that were murky in the first place. Goodell is starting to become so inconsistent that he's consistent. So, strangely enough, we all probably expected this outcome for Pacman.

And dare Pacman try to earn a living in his free time. Many pundits mocked Jones' stint in pro wrestling that openly explored his "Pacman" persona. It's been said that Jones' greatest community service during his suspension was giving away free tickets to kids for his wrestling matches. But what level of community service would ever satisfy people that expect a person who has been stripped of his livelihood to not work? Could Pacman have ever done enough to satisfy some people? I never had any problem with Pacman wrestling. Wrestling is a job. And for many reasons, including many of his own doing, Pacman had nothing better to do.

So the Pacman will continue to wait for his chance. The commish said he come back to the facility after the season ends. And the NFL public will wait to see how his story turns out. Perhaps, Pacman will heed the words of his once disgraced Tennessee Titans teammate Albert Hanynesworth.

"It can go either way, that's the way I look at it. It is kind of like the ordeal I had to go through last year (with a five-game suspension) — you can either let it define your career or step up from it and rewrite your own history book."

See you next year, Adam. Hopefully.

State of the Falcons - Week 9

2007-11-06T20:17:00.000-05:00

Actually, I have little idea what went on with the Falcons this week. The Falcons were blacked out this weekend. They couldn't move a paltry 3000 tickets before the deadline and didn't even bother to request an extension from the NFL. And the current Falcoons media guide "claims" to have a season ticket waiting list of over 90,000 people. The lies.

I heard we won 20-16. Warrick Dunn played like it was 2004 and rushed for 100 yards. DeAngela Hall keeps playing for free agency and caught an interception. Then he had the nerve to toss the intercepted ball to Falcons owner Arthur Blank. Punk.

So that's all I know about what's going on with the Falcons this week. I was mercifully watching the "A" game for once. It's been a long time Joe Buck and I have spent a Sunday afternoon together. I've missed him.

Pitiful 4 point win over the stinky 49ers or not, I still maintain that Michael Vick was the best quarterback in the world. No, I'm not just saying that out of romantic revisionist wistfulness. It's true.

And what's Vick been up to? Just life, man. The big bad Wachovia called in the loan on the restaurant and wine store he just opened up in south Atlanta. If you don't live in Atlanta, let me tell you that it is the bourgeois Black man's dream to be at the Camp Creek Marketplace. The failure of that business has to cut deep. Michael is also trying to sell his $6 million home in Atlanta. And I heard that he recently had a new baby, but his baby mama decided to dump him. The brother can not catch a break. It's been hectic for Mike.

Looking back, I can't remember a single misthrown pass, a single interception, a single bad scramble, a single injury or any bad decisions at all on Michael Vick's part. He was perfect. Now he's gone. Halfway through the season, my memory hasn't faded.

Father of the Year

2007-11-01T23:05:00.000-05:00

I don't want to hear it.

I don't want to hear Andy Reid's name interchanged with sentiments like "tragedy" or "unfortunate circumstance" or "parent's nightmare" when it comes time to discuss the sentencing of his sons for drug. weapons and vehicular offenses. I want to hear the outrage, not the concern. Not because I don't feel concern for a family who has to endure the indignity of watching two sons be sent off to jail. I just expect the NFL standard. Andy Reid should be judged just as harshly as anyone in the NFL dealing with an embarrassing courtroom appearance or a messy entanglement with illegal drugs.

And the NFL standard is the "face of the franchise" standard. Players are routinely demonized and even run out of the league for the sins of their posses or groupies or hangers on. It's simply a double standard if the head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles is treated with any less stringency. Indeed, Andy Reid wasn't doing his job today preparing for the Dallas Cowboys while he was sitting in court tending to his family troubles. And, frankly, illegal drugs were found in Coach Reid's home. In fact, the judge labeled his home a "drug emporium" and questioned whether his grown sons should be living there. Britt and Garrett Reid are facing jail time in the culmination of several years effort in abusing and selling narcotics. Presumably, the Philadelphia customers that the Reid sons were dealing to are Iggles fans and deserve some consideration by the NFL. The NFL and the media should extend similar disdain to Andy Reid as the they would to any other member of the shield.

Sal Paolantonio of ESPN characterized the reaction of Philadelphia fans as "shocked" that the judge drew a straight line of responsibility to the parents. According to the proceedings, the Reid children had been abusing and selling drugs for several years. The judge noted that the Reids clearly loved and supported their children and had tried many times over the years to get them help. I believe that. But it's also apparent that the Reids didn't do the best by their children. Andy Reid should be held to the "face of the franchise" standard.

That is, if that's the standard that's going to apply to everybody.

Lawyers (and ESPN) Good For Something

2007-10-31T22:42:00.000-05:00

The tenacity of a lawyer resulted in good when Genarlow Wilson was released from jail last Friday. Genarlow and his attorney BJ Bernstein gambled when Genarlow refused to accept numerous plea offers to reduce his ten year sentence for having consensual sex with another teenager, but the risk paid off. To be sure, Genarlow's strategy was risky. It was only a 4-3 margin of the Georgia Supreme Court that decided that Wilson's punishment was cruel and unusual.

In addition to the dogged pursuit of Genarlow's lawyer, the media should rightfully take credit for Genarlow's release. Media outlets like ESPN brought well deserved national attention to Genarlow's plight.

Georgia was shamed into releasing Genarlow Wilson. Despite the rationalizations of local prosecutors. Despite the politics of the legislature. Despite the narrow margin of the Supreme Court.

Some have complained that the Supreme Court has legislated from the bench in freeing Wilson despite the legislature's express refusal to do so. To some lawyers,"legislating from the bench" is the most cardinal sin of a judge. To others, it's the appropriate effectuation of a checks and balances system that counters nonsensical laws.

Finally, after over two years in prison, legal wrangling and media attention, Genarlow Wilson is free to anticlimatically get on with his life. The media outlets that devoted the feature stories that were instrumental in securing his freedom have blurbed about his release and moved on. Genarlow says he leaves prison a man and that he hopes to go to college to study sociology.

And, ironically, Genarlow has appropriate gratitude for the legal system that prosecuted and vindicated him.

Well, for the most part my incarceration made me a stronger person and a more ambitious person. So I definitely plan on succeeding. Especially with having so many people supporting me and coming to my defense; I don’t want to disappoint them. I feel like failure’s not an option. I also have higher expectations for myself, and I feel like I’ve matured.

For the most part I’m not angry or bitter. I can’t let my frustrations get the best of me. It’s not going to make matters any easier for me. Either way it goes, it’s still going to be hard for me. But now I get to start over. It’s a new beginning, and I’m looking forward to it. I’ve turned all the negative energy into something positive.

Genarlow was a popular high school football player in his former life. He seems not to crave anything but simple interaction now. Raiding the refrigerator whenever he wants. Spending time with his mother and sister. Hopefully, going to class and earning and degree. After all he's been though, here's hoping he can accomplish so much.

Feeling Better

2007-10-31T21:35:00.000-05:00

Nip/Tuck is back on and Kobe got booed at home. All is right with the world. Why not come back?

Thanks everybody for your well wishes during my hiatus.

(Ha ha! Kobe got booed!)

Sick Day(s)

2007-10-17T23:38:00.000-05:00

I apologize for not updating the blog, but I am a little under the weather. I think the Falcons are trying to actually kill me. And when I don't have anything to say about Terrell Owens, there's definitely something wrong. I'm okay, but I'm just going to update the blog even more lazily than I normally do. I'll back in a few.

The Critic?

2007-10-10T17:49:00.000-05:00

A nice young man, Eric Angevine, wrote an article concerning me and the efforts of this blog for the Chicago Sports Weekly. The article is about the different types of sports blogs written by ladies. In it, Mr. Angevine labels me "the critic" and makes me sound kind of cocky and arrogant and mocks my admiration of Michael Irvin. I loved it! It's a interesting and well written article about the female sports blogging landscape. Check it out here. Page 28.

Will You Accept a Post Dated Check, Sir?

2007-10-10T17:39:00.000-05:00

$20 mil, Mr. Blank? Sure thing. Just let Mike unscrew the bottom of his Aquafina bottle and he'll pull it out for you right away

I seriously doubt Michael Vick has $20 million to spare, but if he is forced to repay that kind of money to the Atlanta Falcons, he will hover like a curse over the NFL for a long time. Anyway, the Falcons shouldn't be trusted with that kind of money. They might spend it on free agents. Expensive, worthless free agents like Peerless Price or Ed Hartwell.

If NFL teams are granted the ability to demand repayment of bonuses to such an extent, expect a chill on the inducement power of the signing bonus. Jamarcus Russell length holdouts will become more normal. He got his money, but the Raiders lost the ability to choose whether or not their coveted #1 pick would start this season. Teams will lose the salary cap flexibility when dealing with coveted players who prefer to eschew the risk of potentially having to give their money back. Steve Wyche of the AJC elaborates:

The ramifications of this case could be profound, which is why the players' union immediately drew up papers to file an appeal of Burbank's decision. Should the Falcons ultimately win this case, teams throughout the league could make use the same argument to recoup bonus money paid to players found to have violated terms of their contract.

Still, Vick's professional team is getting the sideways glance. Things continue to go so badly for Michael Vick on a seemingly daily basis, one has to wonder whether he would have been better off facing a jury of his peers. What more would he have lost, even if he was found guilty? The downside of the guilty plea was that various third parties now have a negative factual basis to rely on. It increasingly seems apparent that there was no coordination amongst Vick's professional team. No one has stepped up to simultaneously manage Vick's freedom, image, finances and professional prospects. They have a copy of the contract. If a $20 million judgment was a foreseeable risk, they should have worked out a private settlement with the Falcons. If the guilty plea was going to collapse the rest of Vick's life like a house of cards, maybe Michael should have gone to trial.

Michael Vick has lost so much. Too much for the crime he committed. Someone needs to show him some mercy. Maybe that person could be the commissioner who could expedite Vick's return to the league so that Vick can get started on that payment plan.

State of the Falcons - Week 5

2007-10-08T22:58:00.000-05:00

Guess we know who spent their bye week at the strip club (cough, Vince!). The Titans looked lethargic and lackadaisical like they wanted the Falcons to win. Still, the Falcons lost! There are not enough Titans turnovers in the day apparently.

The Falcons tried their crazy best. They faked a punt. DeAngela Hall played like he was a free agent. He intercepted for a TD and almost intercepted another pass.

But the Falcons got in their own way, of course. Offensive lineman Wayne Gandy was hurt and is likely out for the season.

And then there was the inexplicable introduction of Byron Leftwich.

Joey looked so sad on the sidelines when he was suddenly replaced at the start of the fourth quarter. "Any time you get pulled it's frustrating," he said. "It's not something you enjoy."

"I want to be this team's starter, but if Coach makes the decision the other way, I'm going to support this team," said Harrington. "I've been through worse before."

Today, Coach Petrino confirmed that Harrington will remain the starting quarterback for now.

Joey may have been replaced during the game because he threw an interception to Vincent Fuller that was returned for a touchdown. Why the panic? Like this was the first time Joey had ever thrown for a touchdown... I thought we were treated for this. If Joey Harrington interceptions are herpes, game strategery should be the Valtrex that doesn't cure, but prevents flare ups.

Still, Byron Leftwich looked ecstatic beyond belief when he got into the game.. I think he was dancing when he came up to the line of scrimmage. Do you know what was funny about Leftwich getting the call? He hasn't taken a single practice snap with the first team offense. I find that to be HILARIOUS! Leftwich said:

"That was the first time I was in there with the first-team offense with the Atlanta Falcons, ever, and it was great to be out there. You would love to hopefully have that week to prepare to go out and play, but we'll see. Hopefully, I can get out there and play some football. I'd be lying to you if I said I didn't want to play some football."

So now the Falcons have a full blown quarterback controversy.

And now the veteran players hate the offensive genius Bobby Petrino. DeAngela Hall is the head chick in charge. Apparently his coach hating cooties have infected the room. Alge Crumpler suggested an “agenda” that is minimizing the roles of veterans in the offense, while increasing the roles of younger players to prepare them for the future.

Eh... Save your complaints. They'll be plenty more to be unhappy about as the season continues.

There would be no quarterback controversy if Michael Vick wasn't headed to the pokey. He was the best quarterback in the world. No, I'm not just saying that out of romantic revisionist wistfulness. It's true.

Michael Vick is chaperoning the local high school homecoming dance this week. Everything went fine, although he's not sure why so many kids asked him where to score weed. How the fuck is he supposed.. Oh... Damn bracelet. It's a dead giveaway. Some of the kids weren't so nice. Some knuckleheads had a lot of woof woof dead dog jokes. A couple of them had to be popped upside the head. "I'm still fast, little muthafucka. Don't write checks your ass can't cash", Vick was forced to yell more than once as he rapped an alternative school punk across the back of the head more than once. No biggie, though. The kids soulja boyed to their hearts content and Vick was able to serve some community service before his curfew.

Looking back, I can't remember a single misthrown pass, a single interception, a single bad scramble, a single injury or any bad decisions at all on Michael Vick's part. He was perfect. Now he's gone. See you on Monday night.

Fashion Round Up - Noticing Those Who Dress To Be Seen

2007-10-07T23:33:00.000-05:00

Week 4. (Better late than never...)

I liked Lebron in the three piece black velvet suit on Saturday Night Live. I have a weakness for velvet on athletically built men.

But Lebron stood out most in his gold lame and jheri curl. Oooh, baby. Chocolate in gold foil.... Are they going to sell you on Valentine's Day, Bron Bron?

Even sexual harassers gotta look good. Note that pocket square on Isiah Thomas. It's like origami or something. Plus he spiced up the conservative blue and gray look with clever blending of textures. Dirty sexual harasser.

Even Joe Buck had the gall to clown Howie Long for his excessive use of stripes. I think "garanimals" is what came to Joe's mind first. Zebra, anybody?

Michael Strahan was also feeling stripey.

Marshall Faulk looked great in classic black and gray. Rod Woodson is seething with jealousy.

Desmond Howard and Emmitt Smith had the same idea in pairing gray and purple.

Mark Cuban went sleeveless on Dancing With the Stars.

Kenny Mayne wore purple to meet with the caveman.

Jilian Reynolds wore a dress with pockets with a peek of mom boobs.

And Matt Hasselback wore argyle. Oh, Matt. You're no Tom Brady.

Tiki Barber Claims His Hometown Had No Black Women

2007-10-04T23:19:00.000-05:00

Tiki Barber is from Roanoke, Virginia. He recently went on the Wendy Williams show and claimed that there were no Black women in Roanoke when he was growing up. Which is why he won't tolerate any parts of them in his bed today. Well, Wendy said that last part. Wendy teased him incessantly about not liking Black women. He didn't really deny it. Tiki informed Wendy that he is married to an Asian woman and even tried to prove his street credit by telling Wendy his Swahili name and that he drove a Cadillac. Wendy wasn't buying it.

Tiki also said that he wouldn't give up his current life for a Superbowl ring.

It's really quite an amusing interview. And according to the 2000 census, Roanoke is over 25% Black.

The Dogs Live and Ookie Learns to Love

2007-10-03T00:22:00.000-05:00

The pit bulls seized from Michael Vick's Virginia home have been evaluated and all but one are suitable for placement. That's great news. I hope some of the people who have been buying notes and t-shirts and chew toys have enough resources left over to help find suitable homes for the dogs in question. Especially since they love animals more than the rest of us.

But you know what's funny about the results of the dog evaluation? From an evidentiary standpoint, finding that the dogs are docile enough to be placed would directly contradict the position that the dogs were programmed to fight. Anyhoo, it's neither here nor there. Vick has already plead out. It's funny though.

And, furthermore, Michael Vick has been visiting the PETA headquarters in Norfolk, VA and has been taking classes on how to love animals more. And PETA says he has been doing great! They say Vick was attentive and inquisitive during the 8 hour course.

“He was asking questions, following up on points we were making, taking notes,” [Dan] Shannon said. “He seemed to be putting an honest effort into trying to get something out of the course.”

Shannon said Vick told him “he wished he had gotten to take a course like this five years ago.”

Yeah, that and a herpes slash weed addiction prevention course.

In total, Vick visited the PETA headquarters three times, the final of which included a test on what Vick learned in his course. PETA declined to reveal Michael's score, but revealed that the test included an essay and long answer questions.

Yes, Ookie wrote an essay on his revised love for dogs. I wonder if he will turn it in to the Commissioner for extra credit.

Touch of the Thug?

2007-10-02T23:28:00.000-05:00

Somehow, I think the Cincinnati Bengals preferred when they lead the NFL in criminals. Their win loss record was so much better. They try to clean house.. expunge Chris Henry and the like. Where does it get them? 1 and 3, that's where.

There must be some sort of winning aura that the so-called thugs of the NFL bring to a team.

Tank Johnson must have brought a certain swagger to the Chicago Bears that they sure miss now. Rex, baby, it's not you.

The Atlanta Falcons are a miserable 1 and 3 without convicted felon, but electrifying quarterback Michael Vick.

The Kansas City Chiefs were without drunk driver Jared Allen for two games. Soon as he comes back. 2-0! Hallelujah.

The Tennessee Titans are doing okay without Pacman Jones, but maybe head bussa Albert Haynesworth is the difference. And who knows? When Jones gets back, maybe we'll see some improvement in Vince Young's forehead. That thing is getting bigger by the day.

So far, the proof is in the numbers when it comes to putting an all character team out there on the field. It may be too early in the season to draw definite conclusions from coincidences, but not too late for some teams to fill out the roster with a thug or too.

State of the Falcons

2007-10-01T23:07:00.000-05:00

Well, the day came. I was invited to the Falcons game and I responded with an enthusiastic, "Ehhhhh..." Oh, well. Just my luck. I missed the first win of the season. I saw it on TV though. And in standard definition, no less. Don't ever say I'm not a true fan. CBS didn't care enough to send the fancy cameras to the Dome. But I watched anyway. I may have permanent optical damage from the indignity of viewing a game in non high definition.

I'm sure Matt Schaub didn't sign up for the indignity of losing to Joey Harrington. But that's what he got. And I'm sure he barely recognized his former teammate Michael Jenkins who caught two touchdown passes. And the Roddy White who can suddenly catch diagonal passes thrown in cross routes when he dropped so many passes thrown straight to the numbers in seasons past. Now the Falcons have receivers? Great. And Joey Harrington continues to pretend like he can play quarterback. This was predictable. Soon as Byron got to town, Joey plays well enough to stall Leftwich's inevitable start.

But who has time to focus on wins or positive progress when the nation is tuned into The Passion of DeAngela. DeAngela Hall does not get along with the offensive genius, Coach Bobby Petrino. Hall feels their relationship soured when he refused to play special teams or offense. Or maybe when Petrino refused a ride in his Lamborghini. The AJC claims former head coach Mora used to partake.

When asked if he thought he could play for Petrino long term, Hall said:

“Some things would have to change, obviously. Like you said, some guys are made for college. Some guys are made for the NFL. If he wants respect given to him, he must give respect back.”

Yahoo! reported that DeAngela wants to be traded, but the AJC dismissed that as an "internet rumor." Whatever. DeAngela is a decent corner. Just not as good as he thinks.

The Falcons got the day off on Monday. Just for going 1 and 3.

One win or not, Michael Vick, was the best quarterback in the world. No, I'm not just saying that out of romantic revisionist wistfulness. It's true.

Michael Vick is laying low this week. He is filled with shame that you people found out he lit a doobie to cope with things. And he's decorating his electronic monitoring bracelet. Hearts and butterflies mostly. Just takes a little nail polish. Don't hate. Bracelets are hot right now. Lindsey Lohan. Tracy Morgan. Eve. Everybody's sporting a bracelet this season. Vick is just being trendy.

Looking back, I can't remember a single misthrown pass, a single interception, a single bad scramble, a single injury or any bad decisions at all on Michael Vick's part. He was perfect. Now he's gone. You won't last, Joey.

Well, Did You Send Him a Care Package?

2007-09-27T12:58:00.000-05:00

If there was anything I learned from the ESPN town hall meeting on Michael Vick, it was that we're all enablers. The team. The media. The fans. We all did our part to steer Michael toward the predicament he finds himself in.

So when I heard Michael Vick had tested positive for marijuana use by the federal courts, I blamed myself. What healthy choices was I enabling Michael Vick to make? Was I offering him chocolate milk instead of soda? Little Dannon yogurts instead of fries? Did I say, "Mike, have these apple slices with caramel dip instead of weed." No, I did not. So when I heard that Mike had turned to the cheeba, I was not surprised. What the fuck else is he supposed to do? His life is falling apart! He has no means to unwind. Can he turn on ESPN like the average sports fan to escape his life problems? Uh, no. He is on blast. He is getting mental health care according to the court paperwork. He is sad, alone and depressed. Even if I had some on hand, carrot sticks might not make the pain go away like a blunt.

So, Mike, you still gotta do what needs to be done to stay out of trouble. You've lived in the A long enough. Install your stripper poles at home. Stock up on your liquor on Saturdays. Keep it legal. Keep it in the subdivision. Stop smoking. Drink, instead! It's not against the law and, if it worked for Brett Favre, it can work for you. Good luck, Mike. And I'll have celery sticks with ranch dressing (no wings, cuz you're a bad boy) on hand next time you come around.

Fashion Round Up - Noticing Those Who Dress To Be Seen

2007-09-26T22:04:00.000-05:00

Awwww, snap! It was the battle of sexy this week. The Unrated Mike and Mike challenged each other to a sunglasses duel this week. I prefer Tomlin. Plus, Nolan is shirking his suit wearing responsibilities by wearing the nylon parka over the tie.

I'm going to be honest with you. I'm trying to start beef between the Stewart brothers. Ryan Stewart of The 2 Live Stews is an instant classic. Doug needs to step it up. Ryan brings the heat with the no tie look. Notice how the collar of the shirt is elongated to hold its own with the suit. Love it!

But Ryan is not an out of pocket little brother. He allows big brother Doug to lime green shine with a little bit of color while Ryan fakes like he's not flashy.

Stuart Scott did a couple of nice things this week. He rocks a gray suit with a true shawl collar. Shoulder pads bring the suit to a perfect proportion.

Stu also rocked a little bit of trendy color for Monday Night Football.

Tony Kornheiser felt krispy in his lilac PTI blazer. Mike and Jaws mocked him, but they don't have the confidence to wear this. Do you, Tony.

Throwbacks were worn. I found the Washington Redskins' reintroduction of the feather on the logo to be very classy. And what about those Iggles throwbacks? Did your TV bleed? Cry?

Donovan liked his throwback so much, he matched his post game press conference suit to the colors.

And Brian Westbrook was feeling his new Fruit of Islam role so much, he brought the style with the stunna shades inside. "We got your back." Nuff said.

Desmond Howard brings a little purple and gray and teefuses to College Gameday.

The Yankees forced their rookies to dress up as characters from The Wizard of Oz. Ian Kennedy was the one with the gonads to dress up as Dorothy.

Dancing With the Stars has started. Floyd can dance, but he is frenetic and lacks chemistry with his partner. Mark Cuban's specialties include the unnatural use of his tongue and patches. Not sure at all what the patches are about. He was in the bottom two this week. His tongue is not all that.

Another week... Another week Deion does too much. The gold and blue was fine, but the blue pocket flaps are too much. Stop smiling, punk.

Vince Young keeps it real with some ghetto lines in the haircut.

Curt Menefee tries a little color this week.

And Jillian Reynolds' new mommy boobs almost see the light of day. Damn you sheer fabric! The menfolk want to enjoy motherhood too.

The Vick Divide. If You Say So.

2007-09-26T00:15:00.000-05:00

ESPN, unifying force that they are, held a town meeting in Atlanta on issues surrounding Michael Vick's treatment by the legal system and the media.

First some notes about the panel:

Terrence Mathis: Former Vick teammate. Clearly playing the role of the friend and Christian. Well received by the crowd.

Neil Boortz: Conservative local radio talk show host. Had enough sense to stay quiet for most of the show, lest his Lexus get keyed in the parking lot.

Terence Moore: AJC Columnist. Booed at introduction. Why? Because he hates the Falcons and everybody in Atlanta knows it. For years, he has seen everything about that team as "half empty."

Selena Roberts: NY Times Columnist. The yankee became a crowd favorite for her intellectual neutrality. And, yes it's weird that a White female from up top resonated the most with the crowd just by being intelligent and balanced in her statements. The other panelists could barely manage so much.

Chuck Smith: Former Falcon. Used to be a midday sports talk host at 790 the Zone. (BTW, the show has sucked ever since he left.) Booed by the crowd several times. Probably because he is much better explaining himself when he has four hours to kill. He did not do well explaining himself in the soundbite format.

The town hall wasn't terrible, but ESPN is playing the race card. The audience was overwhelmingly Black, pro-Vick and many were wearing 7 jersey and "Free Vick" shirts. Atlanta is Black, but it ain't THAT Black. People of all different races and backgrounds and cultures have all different opinions on Vick. ESPN could have worked harder to cull a more representative audience. The Associate Press claimed that ESPN handlers were still rustling people to join the audience while the event was in progress. There was a smattering of White people there, but one group they kept focusing on looked like Kip and his girlfriend Buffy. I swear he had sunglasses on his head and a sweater tied around his shoulders. If they had a Black guy with a shower cap on, it would hae been a perfect set.

ESPN is determined to insist that The Vick divide is based solely on race. That is not true. I have written about that before. And speaking of Wright Thompson, he was an invited guest of the panel. He elaborated on the article he wrote a while back on ESPN. He clarified that people in the south have a "world view" based on history and experience. I much prefer the term "world view" instead of "race card".

So ESPN is playing the world view card.

They would be better off paying attention to one of their SportsNation polls. Race is a factor oftentimes, but it's not 100 percent of the issue all the time. I don't know why that nuance can't be grasped by many entities. One of the polls featured on the show said 22 percent of the people who felt Vick had been treated unfairly felt race was the issue. That's a much more realistic proportion of the reason for the piling on than scapegoating 100% of the people of Atlanta with the world view card.

ESPN hosted the event but failed to directly address ESPN's piling on. That's quite disingenuous of the worldwide leader. I, for one, had to literally stop watching several ESPN programs for a couple of weeks because the coverage on Vick was so excessive and negative. ESPN was relentless. It didn't matter if it was anybody's favorite player, your favorite team or even if it was because I had a certain world view. ESPN couldn't help but pound the story into the ground. Which is exactly why they held a 90 minute town hall program weeks after most of the public was completely exhausted from it. They could barely find people off the street to fill the auditorium. Only a few hundred people constituted the audience in an auditorium in the local convention center.

So, in the end, panelists assembled. Audience members asked questions. One particularly interesting one was about the difference in how Michael Vick and Bill Belichick have been treated. Vick is a face of the league. Belichick and the Patriots are a face of the league. One is in present exile. One is just another asshole who gets to prove his greatness on the field despite his transgressions. I hope Vick gets to be just another asshole who ultimately gets to redeem himself on the field.

But that could just be my world view talking.

State of the Falcons

2007-09-25T22:38:00.001-05:00

Welcome to Atlanta, Byron Leftwich. I really have been remiss in formally welcoming you on this blog. Frankly, I'm so bitter about the Falcons I can't see straight. Anyway, hey. Don't forget to open doors for ladies, wait for ladies to get off elevators first and drink Coke, never Pepsi.

But you see what kind of mess you've got into, Byron?

The Falcons are terrible. We lost to the Carolina Panthers in the home opener that only featured about 70% occupancy. (B, can you save us from blackouts next year?) The media blames DeAngela Hall. Hooray, the nickname is out of retirement! But I think the media is being unfair to DeAngela. DeAngela is not responsible for the Falcons loss. Because, the odds are, the Falcons were going to lose anyway. And what kind of ship is Petrino where a player feels like he can scream on the head coach and assistant coaches on the sideline? DeAngela was out of control well before the 67th yard of penalty. If Petrino was paying attention, the coach might have pulled him before hand. But I guess he's been too busy being a offensive genius.

But I have sympathy for DeAngela. Youngsters often lash out when their quarterback figures are absent from the Dome. DeAngela misses Michael Vick. Whether DeAngela is fined and/or suspension, he just needs understanding.

The real number 7, Michael Vick (no, not you, B-Money), was the best quarterback in the world. No, I'm not just saying that out of romantic revisionist wistfulness. It's true.

Michael Vick isn't doing much this week, except stressing over a local indictment. Well, not really stressing. He's finding new ways to relax. In his down time, he's been getting mani pedis to unwind and destress. When you haven't been putting the football wear and tear on the footsies, regular pedicures do wonders. Plus, those massage chairs are fucking awesome. Michael has been experimenting with toe color. Black toe polish is de rigeur for men who are willing to try such things, but a little color never hurt anybody. Mike is just experimenting with one of those Chanel deep reds. Yeah, dark colors chip alot, but a polish change is just another excuse to get in those massage chairs. They are fucking awesome. And who will know? Michael used to be worried about what his friends thought. But friends snitch. A good mani pedi is a little over $30, but the joy of staring at pretty toes before you fall asleep is priceless.

Looking back, I can't remember a single misthrown pass, a single interception, a single bad scramble, a single injury or any bad decisions at all on Michael Vick's part. He was perfect. Now he's gone. Good luck with that, Byron. See you soon!

Donovan Feels Pretty

2007-09-24T14:51:00.000-05:00

It doesn't matter what you thought about those blue and gold throwbacks, Donovan loved them. Right down to the powder blue knee socks.

Okay, maybe it wasn't the knee socks that allowed McNabb to throw for 380 yards at an over 80% completion rate for four touchdowns. The removal of Donovan's knee brace probably had something to do with it. The brace affected McNabb's hip movement, which directly impacted his ability to throw accurately. Brace removed. Problem solved. If Donovan is really injury prone, no piece of plastic is going to save him. The removal of the brace signifies Donovan's willingness to embrace the risks of being excellent. Donovan could not keep that brace and simultaneous perform as the premier quarterback that he is. So Donovan bid adieu to the plastic.

Or maybe it was Donovan's new fight the power outlook on life. Donovan damn sure showed a little "extra" on Sunday. Hey. It's his plight in life. Football is a team sport. And maybe the team saw fit to rally around a once "company man" who sought redemption. Brian Westbrook told the media that amidst the so-called distraction of last week, "We've got his back no matter what." That kind of pronouncement of loyalty on Donovan's behalf is not oft heard. Perhaps it wasn't a knee brace, but some heartfelt support from his teammates that Donovan needed.

Donovan's Statement Was Not That Interesting

2007-09-20T23:16:00.000-05:00

Much ado has been made over Donovan McNabb's statement that Black NFL quarterbacks have to do "extra." Why? He's only stating the obvious.

Anyone would know that, for example, after watching the ESPN post game summary of the Eagles-Redskins game Monday night. The "game" summary seemed to focus solely on how terrible McNabb was. Not how inadequate any other coach or player of the Eagles was. There was hardly any commentary about how why the Redskins won - except for the fact that McNabb sucked. There was no admiration about how McNabb pushed himself back on the field from serious injury to lead his team. It was meekly mentioned that the head coach might be responsible for some questionable play calling, but most commentary for Andy Reid was saved for a lengthy segment in which the play callers went on and on about his family situation. They had nothing but sympathy for Reid although if your sons are drug addicted criminals you might, in fact, be a bad father. And to top it all off, ESPN had a montage of all of McNabb's terrible throws ready for the six o'clock SportsCenter the next evening. Brett Favre, Eli Manning and Rex Grossman don't get that sort of treatment. Genuine critique is one thing, but piling on is another. McNabb is not above criticism, but he doesn't deserve the piling on he receives.

The national media, not just the fickle fans of individual markets, are often highly critical or indifferent to the handful of Black quarterbacks around the league. Michael Vick won't be given retroactive credit once the world is exposed to how crappy the Falcons are without him. They'll just go on about how the Falcons should have kept Matt Schaub. And although most agree Vick will be back in the NFL, many have no respect for him at his position. Idiots suggest that he should come back as a running back or a punt returner. Vince Young will be figured out, but Drew Brees is the next big thing. Steve McNair was literally locked out by his former team. Groans are elicited at the mention of Byron Leftwich's name. The nation sits on the edge of its seat awaiting the fulfilled potential of Matt Leinart and Alex Smith, with seemingly little interest in youngsters David Garrard and Jason Campbell.

It's not Donovan's statement that was interesting, but the progression of his statements over the years. Donovan has been a pleaser, actively courting the middle. Predictably, that path has had mixed results. It's interesting that Donovan is gradually becoming more outspoken, recently speaking his mind about Michael Vick and the overall plight of Black quarterbacks.

The interview on HBO Real Sports was an insightful look into Donovan's background and upbringing, not an excuse to play the race card. When Donovan was young, his parents moved to an all white suburb of Chicago. Their house was vandalized with racist motivation immediately after the closing. Donovan spent his childhood with the challenge of fitting into a majority environment. Donovan was not raised with a "bite your tongue" mentality. Rather, his parents described it as a "twist your tongue seven times" mentality. That is, think long and hard before you respond to your antagonists. And, at Donovan's age, he has had an opportunity to think on a lot of things.

So, I'm intrigued to see that Donovan is becoming confident enough to speak the truth and not back down, even if he has to walk out of his own press conference. Even if younger Black quarterbacks Vince Young and Jason Campbell allegedly disagree with Donovan. It's not Donovan's statement that was interesting. The interview was really about the progression of events that has gotten him to this point. It will be interesting to see where the sequence of things leads Donovan ultimately.

Fashion Roundup - Noticing Those Who Dress to be Seen

2007-09-19T22:52:00.000-05:00

Pam Oliver is back looking the cutest this week rocking the peach trench coat. Still love the bangs. Too bad Vince Young can't do the same thing for his forehead.

Sage Steele did something different this week and wore her hair sleek and straight. Greenie tried to take credit for the new hairstyle, but Sage said the 'fro would be back later this week. A friend remarked that Sage looks like a stalk of broccoli with the curly fro. That still makes me chuckle to this day.

Is this how Dwyane got his big head? Hanging with Kanye? Now he's running around without his ring, chasing chicks that aren't his wife and wearing clothes with his name on them? Shame. At least it's not a lightning bolt this time.

Jillian ~~Barberie~~ Reynolds has new mommy boobs.

Howie Long's buzzcut makes any pastel color look masculine.

Carson Palmer is a disappointment on the field and at the podium. This whole look is just awkward.

Bill Parcells tries to be stylish matching his pocket square to his tie.

Keyshawn Johnson offers up his digits just in case you need a wide receiver, but looks smooth as hell in his mauve ensemble. The no tie look works for him.

Deion does too much with this gold get up. Shirt collar trim, solid tie knot, horizontal tie stripes, shawl collar and fabric covered buttons. Ugh. Save some for next week.

The Boston Red Sox might want to focus more on closing out the season instead of indulging their furry fetish.

Don't forget Floyd Mayweather, Jr. and Mark Cuban will be on Dancing With the Stars next week.

And, let's close this week with a fashion winner. The often dapper Curtis Martin is killin' it. Everything is perfect on him. And I like the contrast stitching in the lapel button hole just for a little bit of sexiness.

You Need More People

2007-09-18T17:49:00.000-05:00

I don't believe the New England Patriots. They lie.

Robert Kraft, the owner of the liars, went on NBC Sunday night and stated that he had no knowledge that Bill Belichick was brazenly videotaping opponents' signals from the sideline. I guess he missed the memo.

Wade Wilson, the Dallas Cowboys quarterback coach suspended for using HGH, also is confused. He has confirmed that he is attempting to get an explanation from the commissioner's office on the disparity in punishment between him and the Patriots organization. Wilson received a 5 game suspension for using HGH to treat his personal medical issues, while the Patriots were only fined and docked draft picks for illegally and repeatedly taping signals. To date, he still hasn't heard back.

And I assume Michael Vick, Chris Henry and other players sitting at home not collecting paychecks are confused as well. Not only was Belichick slapped on the hand, his owner rewarded him with the game ball and an extension through 2013. Belichick's owner effectively paid his $500,000 fine many times over, while the players who put the fans in the seats and sell the authentic replica jerseys are docked without a second thought.

If it doesn't seem fair, it's because it's not.

State of the Falcons (Still Holding On To the Past)

2007-09-18T17:03:00.000-05:00

The Falcons are very, very bad. The offensive genius Coach Petrino has amassed a total of 10 points for the season. Joey Harrington still can't read the defenses and holds the ball for an eternity. He got sacked 7 times for his trouble. That's the only stat he improved on from last week. Well, actually 7 sacks instead of 6 is not technically an improvement. In the end, we lost 13-7 to the Jacksonville Jaguars.

And our trip to Jacksonville comes full circle as it was announced today that the Falcons signed former Jaguars quarterback Byron Leftwich to a two year deal. Leftwich is better than Harrington, but he is merely a faux number 7.

The real number 7, Michael Vick, was the best quarterback in the world. No, I'm not just saying that out of romantic revisionist wistfulness. It's true. Now, our real quarterback is sitting on his ass making an audition tape for I Love New York 2.

It's not easy to get on reality TV, especially a show as classy as I Love New York.
But Mike is desperate for a woman to hold him down. If he had a, ahem, passionate woman such as Tiffany a/k/a New York, Mike might not have found himself involved in that dogfighting mess. But it won't be easy to get to a pearl like New York. You've got to be a "character". You've got to have a catch phrase. You've got to emulate the greats like Pumkin. You've got to spit. You've got to overdramatize. Mike is committed to making his mark on celebreality.

"You're a whore. Peace!"

No, Mike thought. You've got to put a little bit of umph in it.

"YOU'RE a whore. Peace!"

"You're a WHORE. Peace!"

"You're a whore. PEACE!"

Aw, shit. Too much talk about "peace" makes Mike think of that mofo Purnell who snitched on him. But Mike is determined to do something positive with his downtime. He doesn't care that there's a midget in the cast. He'll hurl that runt out of the house almost as fast as Mike scrambled out of the pocket in the Georgia Dome.

Looking back, I can't remember a single misthrown pass, a single interception, a single bad scramble, a single injury or any bad decisions at all on Michael Vick's part. He was perfect. Now he's gone. We had Eminem. Now we've got Vanilla Ice.

No, this is not a tall tale. It's just a sad story about the state of the Falcons.

Are the Ladies In the House?

2007-09-17T22:50:00.000-05:00

Ballhype hosted a lady bloggers roundtable where myself, Miss Gossip, Ladies..., Need 4 Sheed, and Babes Love Baseball discussed the highs and lows of being a female sports blogger. It was an honor and a privilege to be included. Please check it out ---- HERE!.

In case you didn't know, there are some other talented lady bloggers out there that weren't included in the forum. Please check them out at your earliest convenience.

The Vent
The 2 Michelles
Gridiron Goddess
This Suit is Not Black
You'll Never Blog Alone

Feeling Dominant

2007-09-14T21:55:00.000-05:00

I'm heading into Week 2 feeling good about myself. A few days ago, I didn't know what "DST" stood for. Now I'm doing great in fantasy football. I won my match up with ease and am just 2 points off the league leader. I'm also doing great in pick 'em. Correctly picking 11 games put me at the top of one league and just one pick from the top in another league. The sprightly young fellow who runs Oh No Romo! challenged me personally and was defeated. Ha ha!

I figure I better get my shit talking in now while I still can.

And I leave you this week with my obsession with all things soulja boy. Check out Travis Barker going bananas on the drums (Hat tip to The Smak). Have a good weekend. Yuuuuuah!

Is That How They Know Us?

2007-09-14T21:12:00.001-05:00

The NFL has tallied up all the pink jersey sales and determined that the Pittsburgh Steelers have the most female fans.

The article is not crystal clear that they only counted up the pink jerseys to reach this conclusion. Apparently, they also took some kind of survey.

Thirty four percent of women living in the Pittsburgh Steelers' markets identify themselves as Steelers fans. Furthermore, over three hundred women pay good money each year to go through a simulated Steelers training camp complete with blocking and running drills and a trip to the training table (which sounds cool as hell). They also get to go to a football knowledge camp. No word on whether this service is provided to ignorant male fans as well.

The team with the next largest amount of female fans is the Green Bay Packers with a little over 29% of women identifying themselves as fans. Buffalo was third with 23.7 percent, followed by Cincinnati (22.8 percent), Kansas City (22.4 percent), Jacksonville (21.7 percent), Baltimore and Boston (21.5 percent) and Denver, Tampa-St. Petersburg and Washington, D.C. (20.9 percent).

It seems a curious mixture of cold weather and facial scruff tweak the interest of the female fan, if not the pink jersey.

Not Impressed

2007-09-14T02:22:00.000-05:00

I'm rolling my eyes at you, Roger Goodell.

And when Ben Roethlisberger was on Pardon the Interruption on Wednesday, he rolled his eyes at the mere mention of your name. And it's not every day you can cajole a White boy to roll his eyes.

So, it is what is, Goodell. Ebony and ivory, living in perfect harmony, unanimous in agreement that you're lame. Too chickenshit to punish the New England Patriots the way they deserve to be punished.

Fines? $250K for the Patriots, $500K for Belichick. Oooooh. Big money. For the Patriots, that's barely a day of beer concessions and for Belichick, that's a few speeches on the lecture circuit. Why fine Wade Wilson a third of his salary and fine Belichick his mistress budget? Formula One fined a team $100 million for cheating. I might reconsider driving as a sport if they have cajones to stand up for the integrity of what they do.

First round draft pick? Oh well, I guess the Patriots will be forced to do all their picking in the 6th round where they can settle for gems like Tom Brady.

Furthermore, contingencies? What difference does it make if the Patriots make the playoffs? And since when is the almighty Commissioner concern himself with contingencies? Were Odell Thurman, Michael Vick, Chris Henry, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, extended contingencies for transgressions that had absolutely nothing to do with the substantive integrity of the game?

(BTW, any team that needs video cameras, holla at your girl. You know the price. And I can get the hook-up! Championships are just $750,000 plus $500 or so for the camera and the tripod.)

Perhaps the Commissioner is growing weary of playing dictator. I know how it went. You're kicking back at home watching the talking heads complaining about all the off the field distractions in the league. You think to yourself that I'm going to lay the smackdown on a couple of knuckleheads nobody cares about and I will be praised for my leadership.

But the distractions didn't stop.

Then the distractions became all anybody is talking about. Then the distractions branched out beyond anonymous knuckleheads to legitimate superstars. You convinced yourself that the death penalty was a deterrent to crime. But it's not.

And the incidents didn't stop.

And now the people are muttering "dictator" under their breath when you fancy yourself a skilled politician. You go gladhanding to the media and the players.

Still, the incidents don't stop.

Somebody's committing a crime, doping up or cheating every day it seems. You quietly cut back on the severity of suspensions, writing long letters about why you didn't do this and why you instead did that.

But it's gone too far at this point. You've made the players and media suspicious, you've eroded the value of the fans' season tickets and now you've finally gotten the owners attention. I'm sure some AFC owners know where they stand after you've so severely punished the team that dashed so many championship dreams. And the group you sought to please in the first place - the media - will turn on you. They'll complain about how soft you went on the Patriots.

Belichick will haunt you all season instead of Vick.

And I would feel sorry for you, but you brought it on yourself. Commissioner, were you the only person that didn't know this would end badly?

Do It. What You Waitin' For?

2007-09-13T15:03:00.000-05:00

Their fall from grace is remarkably similar. Two men among the elite in professional football - only to be snitched on disgruntled ex-employees. But will Bill Belichick be punished with the same heavy hand as Michael Vick?

I doubt it. The only way to really punish the Patriots and take away the competitive advantage they gained over teams is to suspend Belichick for multiple games. And I don't know if Goodell has the fortitude to do it. Forfeiture of games would be nice, but highly impractical. I don't think there are enough lost draft picks in the world to punish the Patriots. They have long ago proven that they can scout talent where no one else looks and they won't have a problem signing quality veterans eager to get a taste of championship promise.

As far as players go, Goodell prefers to discipline off the field issues than come down hard on cheaters. Too many misdemeanors earns the death penalty. However, players that actually do things that negatively affect the game on the field get a slap on the wrist. Rodney Harrison is out now, but he'll be back in 3 games. Shawn Merriman sat out a few games, went to the Pro Bowl and is already back in Nike commercials.

As far as non-players go, curiously, Goodell came down hard on Cowboy coach Wade Wilson for using performance enhancing drugs. Although Wilson didn't really derive any competitive advantage from them. Wilson claims he used HGH solely to treat various medical issues, yet Goodell suspended him for 4 games and fined him 1/3 of his annual salary. Wilson should be held responsible for being a positive example for his players, but Belichick's transgression undermined the game far more than Wilson. Belechick brazenly cheated. And did so in a manner that likely directly resulted in more points for the Patriots and less points for their opponents.

So, logically, it should follow that Goodell should come down like a ton of bricks on the Belicheater. Supposedly, he's not afraid to banish superstars. Supposedly, he's not afraid to punish non-player personnel. There's no other choice but to banish Belichick from the Patriots facility for several games. That's the only way to give back the points he stole. Does Goodell have the stones to make Belichick a Vick-tim. There's no other choice. Is there?

A Fine Line

2007-09-12T16:08:00.000-05:00

Is there actually a difference between Terrell Owens and Chad Johnson? Except for the fact that one is much more likely Hall of Fame bound than a celebration prop indicates.

I was struck by Tony Kornheiser's contrast of Terrell Owens and Chad Johnson. He declared on Monday Night Football that Owens was a narcissist, but Johnson was all about fun. There was no substantive proof offered. Just as there is no ready explanation for why Johnson is embraced by the league, practically starring in all the commercials on NFL Network, while Owens does his promotions for free. Owens is certainly no less appealing. He seems to lead or tease various sports broadcasts during the season. ESPN recently saw fit to milk one interview he did with Jim Gray for over a week. And as creative as Chad Johnson is, Owens is a showmanship pioneer.

But to infer that Chad Johnson is not a narcissist? That is preposterous. Chad Johnson doesn't want to be seen? He has become increasingly desperate in his plies for attention. He is overwhelmed by the pressure and restrictions of coming up with a creative celebration in the endzone. Consequently, he has taken his antics to the sidelines - which is just desperate. He is changing first down markers and altering jerseys. As much as I love a good endzone celebration, I find it disturbing that Chad Johnson is frequently making the whole Bengals sideline his accomplice in horseplay. He has had his quarterback playing his straightman in his "Ocho Cinco" skit. And, on Monday, it seemed the whole Bengals staff were tripping over themselves to fetch Chad's black plastic bag and pat him on the back and mug for the cameras over his Hall of Fame craft project.

Of course, Terrell Owens is less "fun" than Chad Johnson because he talks back. Flash your golds and do your dance, but nobody wants to hear a surly malcontent talking back. Chad Johnson hardly says anything of consequence except for delivering football versions of "yo momma" jokes. He is excellent, but untested as far as professional adversity. He is not yet battling injuries and able to have free reign on a team that has misdemeanors and felonies to worry about moreso than excessive celebration fines. Johnson has been able to coast on his natural talent and on a winning team, even if it is a team mired in the mediocrity of success. Owens is not a narcissist, but perhaps a reflection of the adversity (even self-created) that a mature player has had to overcome. Owens fought uphill to join the NFL with a University of Tennessee-Chatanooga pedigree. He was forced to develop his skills in the shadow of Jerry Rice. He's been on losing teams. He's endured quarterbacks of varying skill levels. Owens has battled injury. T.O. works hard to keep himself in superior shape (Johnson prefers fast food). Owens knows labor strife and has had to speak up to get what he deserved. On some level, Terrell had to be noticed in order to survive. What's Chad's excuse?

I don't deny that Owens and Johnson both enjoy attention. For sure, they are both narcissists. And they have both put the "fun" in the NFL. But opening weekend may have put forth the tale of the tape on who's more of the self-promoter. One guy dedicated his offseason to rehabbing an injured hand coming off a year full of drops. He debuted with a startlingly efficient 2 touchdowns on 3 receptions, one of those receptions being a spectacular one handed catch on an overthrown pass. The other guy "prepared" by commissioning a craft project. Which guy was more attuned to the substantive task at hand and which guy was attuned to self-promotion? Think about it before you distinguish one as a greater narcissist than the other.

Fashion Round Up - Week 1!!!!

2007-09-12T00:47:00.000-05:00

First off, I want to give a shout out to Fox Sports for the locker room shots they were running during "The OT." There were a lot of scantily clad men in those locker rooms. And I say it's the best execution of Fox's homoerotic tendencies since a camera was dedicated to T.O.'s leotard.

It wouldn't be a fashion round up if it did start with Michael Irvin. Michael Irvin reemerged on "Costas Now" last week talking retired players and Tiki Barber. Of course, he was sporting the wide tie knot. And, of course, he looked spectacular. The wide tie knot always looks best when he's otherwise traditional. Fawn over the purple paisley on the gray suit. Fawn, dammit!

But I may have to move on from my number one like I did number 7. There is a new fashion sheriff at ESPN. And his name is Ryan Stewart. He is one half of The 2 Live Stews, a syndicated radio duo. And they regularly appear on "First Take" to give Skip Bayless the smackdown. Ryan isn't afraid of a taking chances and wearing a little color. This week, he's got on pink and white stripes on a gray suit. The suit has very distinctive lapels, almost mimicking a shawl collar. Stew-pendous.

Coaches wore suits. You're next, Belichick. Although you won't be as sexy as Mike Nolan.

Keyshawn Johnson makes his week 1 debut in a pink shirt with a vest with a patterned back. Yeah, Key, I don't know either.

Jillian Barberie returned to the airwaves this week. That sexy beast just had a baby 8 weeks ago and is already back in her stripper shoes.

But why did my girl, Pam Oliver, come back from the half with something on her teeth? I thought Joe had her back. Her new 'do looks cute though, especially after she was roasted across the board for her preseason style.

Jay Glazer made his in studio debut with curious facial hair looking like a loan shark. Peak lapels for real.

Who knew T.O. was so shy? He continues to rock the stunnas during the press conference this season. Otherwise, I like the brown striped tie on brown shirt underneath the light sweater.

America's favorite baby daddy, Tom Brady, starts the season off with a new haircut. It looks pretty fancy, like Gisele talked him into it.

Deion is rocking a coat in the summertime. It's a little hot for a vest and a duster jacket, bruh.

Stuart Scott rocks his lime green and gray check best for Monday Night Football.

Who most resembles the orange roundie? Donovan McNabb?

Or Bonnie Bernstein?

Tony Kornheiser wears Chad Johnson's prop. The jacket is cheap, questionable and terrible executed, just like the celebration itself.

And to close, MOOOOOOOSE! Daryl Johnston has apparently never met a pattern or color he couldn't put together. What is that? A nubby linen? Love it.

P.S. Tennessee Titans Vince Young and Chris Brown were stuntin' this week, but a screen cap eluded me. Does a fabulous outfit actually exist if there are no cameras to record it?

State of the Falcons (Extra Salty Version)

2007-09-10T06:46:00.000-05:00

"The good life. It feel like Atlanta..."

Wait a minute, DJ. Bring that back.

Ain't shit good in Atlanta right now. The Falcons are worse than expected. The offensive genius Coach Petrino called for a bunch of short passes and put up 3 points. Joey Harrington was perfectly symmetrical by throwing for two picks that were returned for exactly two touchdowns by the Vikings. He also blew timeouts because he couldn't call a play based on the defense. The Falcons didn't see the redzone. Harrington got sacked 6 times. Shall I go on? 24-3. I think that sums things up. Adrian Peterson and the Vikings' defense looks good. But, then again, they were just playing the Falcons.

Michael Vick was the best quarterback in the world. No, I'm not just saying that out of romantic revisionist wistfulness. It's true. Now, our real quarterback is sitting on his ass ghostwriting for Kanye West.

The good life.
It feel like Atlanta
It feel like LA
It feel like Miami
It feel like N.Y., summertime Chi, ahh
(Now throw your hands up in the sky)
So I roll through good
Y'all pop the trunk, I pop the hood, Ferrari
And she got the goods
And she got that ass, I got to look, sorry
Yo it's got to be cause I'm seasoned
Haters give me them salty looks, Lawry's
50 told me go 'head switch the style up
And if they hate then let 'em hate
And watch the money pile up, the good life

"Yeah, run that, Kanye", Mike tells him after he scribbles it on his Omni Hotel stationery. "They'll have their hands in the air in the club like they do when I scramble in the Dome."

Mike is so industrious. When he's not selling season tickets, he's selling albums.

"Good luck, Ye. You might be able to beat 50 like I beat Favre. Make history, baby."

Ahh... he used to be mine.

Looking back, I can't remember a single misthrown pass, a single interception, a single bad scramble, a single injury or any bad decisions at all on Michael Vick's part. He was perfect. Now he's gone. We had Michael Corleone. Now we've got Fredo.

No, this is not a tall tale. It's just a sad story about the state of the Falcons.

Joe Horn Copes The Best Way He Knows How

2007-09-10T06:33:00.000-05:00

I guess Joe Horn is seeing his career flash before his eyes. Thus, he's resorted to clicking the heels of Michael Vick's cleats three times so that he can go home to the team he thought he signed with in the offseason.

In the above video clip, Falcons wide receiver Joe Horn confesses to wearing Michael Vick's cleats during the game in remembrance of his dog fighting buddy.

As much as I appreciate Horn's loyalty to his friend, I have to wonder what kind of operation Joey Harrington is running. What kind of leader inspires his teammates to hold on to the memory of the last guy that had the job? Is there a bounty on Mike's game worn laundry? Are Alge Crumpler and Warrick Dunn concealing number 7 jerseys and old sweatbands under their uniforms in hopes of conjuring up some magic to get them back to the Pro Bowl?

Joe Horn even went so far as to confront Joey and let him kow upfront that he was wearing Vick's cleats telling him, "If you had some Joey Harrington shoes, I would wear yours too." And that would be Exhibit A in the art of giving a backhanded compliment.

Hold on to the past, Joe. Right now, it's all the Falcons have.

Are You Hype Yet?

2007-09-10T06:00:00.000-05:00

Just in case the start of the NFL season hasn't gotten you excited enough, here's a short highlight reel NFLN cut to "This is Why I'm Hot".

He Must Be Stopped

2007-09-07T00:53:00.000-05:00

Roger Goodell is a cock blocker. It's true.

We all know that he gets his jollies suspending misbehaving millionaires. And we know that the long arm of the law got the best of one Wade Wilson, QB Coach for the Dallas Cowboys. Wilson was suspended 5 games with pay and fined $100,000 for using a banned substance. Nevermind that Wilson was purportedly using HGH for treating his diabetes. It goes deeper. Well, lower. Wilson was using banned substances to treat the most sensitive of all male diseases - impotence.

As a lady blogger, I can't stand idly by while Goodell the dictator persecutes the D. No, no, not Dallas. The little D. Ok, maybe not. I mean the below the waist D. A lady's most sacred treasure.

Wilson tried to be polite when he first described his issue. He said it was a "quality of life" issue. Impotence is a common complication of diabetes. Fifty percent of male diabetics over the age of 50 suffer from impotence. Wilson was just trying to put a little bit of umph in it for the missus. I can't be mad at him for that.

Not to mention Wilson's $100,000 fine is going to snatch a hefty chunk of his $300,000/year salary. How will this man afford porn? It's not right. Hopefully, Viagra or Cialis will step in with some sort of endorsement offer. Wilson should not be punished for using a banned substance to get muscles down there. What kind of message is the NFL sending to the female fanbase?

Hat tip to The Commission

Deep Thoughts From Tiki the Philosopher

2007-09-06T21:52:00.000-05:00

"I can say nothing, which is cowardly, I can lie, which is immoral, or I can tell the truth, which will upset people." - Tiki Barber

Source

Serena Can Pout If She Wants To

2007-09-06T20:50:00.000-05:00

I would criticize Serena for the show she put on at her post-match press conference after losing to Justine Henin, but I can't help but laugh.

"I can't afford to pay the fines because I keep losing." Classic.

Are people so conditioned to the standard press conference dribble that they actually prefer it? I guess so because the media has almost universally turned on her. Yes, the same media that depends on candid comments from athletes to fill their pages and broadcasts.

Still, the USA Today analyst said:

"There's a lot to admire about Serena but this happens again and again where we just have these completely graceless post-match (news conferences). Lucky shots? I think she means winners."

The NY Times added:

"Who's classless now?

The grumpy, borderline nasty disposition that Williams displayed after her loss was a little jarring considering she had her own lack of preparation to blame for giving in so easily to Henin.

Serena was bitter, angry and upset. She directed some of that at Henin. Who could use charm school now?"

Lots of adjectives were thrown about - graceless, classless and unsportsmanlike among them. But, really, Serena was just being honest. And, furthermore, she was holding herself accountable for the loss. You can give credit to the opponent or give demerits to yourself. Serena chose the latter. She's looking at the woman in the mirror. She thinks she's the best. Yeah, that's cocky. But that's why she's great. You can't have it both ways. And you certainly can't have it both ways when the media complains about Serena and her sister being unfocused on tennis, then cry foul when she shows passion.

I don't want to see athletes reciting the notes their publicists prompted them with. I want to see human beings expressing their expectations and insecurities and passions and frustrations. That's what Serena showed at that press conference. And I have no complaints.

Couples...

2007-09-06T13:30:00.000-05:00

There are two sides to every coin. There can be no bliss without discord.

On one side...

Black on Black crime has come to an end. Woo Hoo! Terrell Owens and Donovan McNabb are in full reconciliation mode. Owens continues to elaborate on his affection for D-Nabb:

“Donovan is a good guy. I missed him. I missed the times that we had. He is a good friend. There were some things that happened. I do regret some of the things that happened. If I could go back and change some things then I would. ... He was very receptive (to the apology), and we have moved on from that.”
Donovan might be more of a handshake it out than hug it out kind of guy, but he reciprocated.

We all know, everybody in this room, if this thing would have continued on for years, it could have been something special. But unfortunately, it didn't go in that direction.

We've talked it out, both of us, communicating when we had the opportunity to and put it behind us. That's the past. Now, we're focusing on what we have to do on our given team right now.

I wish the mainstream media would put as much focus on the reconciliation as the did the beef. But beef sells. ESPN and 50 Cent know that.

And on the other side of the coin...

Why, Shaq, why? What about the kids? All those goddamn kids. They need the Big Father around.

I have to admit I was so disappointed to hear that Shaquille and Shaunie O'Neal are divorcing. It's none of my business, but they seemed like a nice family. Rumors are already flying. Shaq is accusing Shaunie of hiding money. Some are speculating that Shaq just filed out of anger because Shaunie was hittin' the personal trainer. C'mon, Shaq. You know that was an owe you one. Shaq broke the covenant by getting caught up in a tell-all by a woman called Superhead. I hope they find a way to stay together. If not for the children, at least for the consideration of child support.

But who can predict the ultimate success of a couple? It's all in the flip of the coin.

2nd Annual Guide to Touchdown Dances

2007-09-05T12:16:00.000-05:00

I am not a prophet. But if I close my eyes and think kinda hard, sometimes I can predict what Black people are going to do next. We may see a little Cupid Shuffle or Walk it Out, but there is only one dance that will sweep the NFL this season.

It's the Soulja Boy.

Yes, this season will be the season we learn how to scream, "Yuuuuuuah!", and Superman a ho. And the nation will collectively ponder how to supersoak a ho. Because I'm still not sure how that step goes.

The Soulja Boy, of course, has a current rap song of same name to accompany it. The dance is really one of the most ridiculous to emerge in a long time. It is especially complicated. You can only do it to one song. And, furthermore, you can only do it the chorus of the song. You just bounce and look cool during the verses. But it is fun to do, if not exhausting.

The Soulja Boy's complicated nature is precisely why it will be popular in the endzone this season. The whole dance is too long for a touchdown celebration, but players will be able to breakdown the dance and perform something slightly different each time. I wonder which team will have the balls to risk a fine and perform it as a duo or group. The Soulja Boy is actually quite stunning when performed as a group. And when I say "stunning", I mean "ghetto."

The dance has already made some underground appearances at a preseason game at Soldier Field (Get it? Soulja Boy at Soldier Field) and the University of Miami has already embraced the "Yuuuuuuuah!" chant in the song as their own.

Tired of reading and can't wait how to learn to Superman a ho? Here are the instructions for the dance. (Yes, there is a how to video. I told you it was complicated.)

Sebastian the Ibis gets the University of Miami crowd hype doing the Soulja Boy. Note that he can't do the whole dance under the weight of his costume. I bet he came this close to passing out. You gotta hydrate and breathe when you crank the soulja boy.

And just cuz it's funny and bastardizes your childhood... Pooh is my favorite, but there are Dora the Explorer, Lion King, Barney, etc. mashups too. NSFW language.

As always, I present this information to you with the HCIC guarantee that I can do all the dances I present to you. Yuuuuuuah!

Ms. Gossip is Awesome

2007-09-04T14:33:00.000-05:00

Jason of Ballhype took the time to craft a video retrospective of Ms. Suns Gossip's talent for the visual arts. Just because Jason has good taste in music, I decided to post it up. And also because Ms. Gossip is wonderful and especially astute for noticing that Grant Hill does look like Knut the polar bear.

Vick Not the Only Ex-Falcon in Disrepute

2007-09-04T13:06:00.000-05:00

Jamal Anderson, once proud running back for the Atlanta Falcons, is embarrassing himself.

He's joined the show "Celebrity Rap Superstar" that's just getting started on MTV on Thursday nights. Basically, the gist of the show is that various celebrities are paired up with rap veterans so that they can be coached to perform a rap song in front of an audience. One "rapper" is voted off each week. Awfulness results.

Jamal Anderson was assigned Redman as a mentor and T.I.'s "Big Things Poppin'" as his first assignment. Awfulness resulted.

On the bright side, "SportsCenter Poppin'" is now cool.

The show also features such "talent" as Shar Jackson, Perez Hilton, Countess Vaughn, Playboy playmate Kendra Wilkinson, Jason Wahler and Sebastian Bach. It is judged by Da Brat, Big Boy and DMC (of Run DMC).

The show is a total cluster fuck. You know a "rap-off" is bad when Sebastian Bach wins with a rendition of "Mama Said Knock You Out." "Celebrity Rap Superstar" is the worst thing I've seen in a while. So, duh, I'll keep watching.

Why So Negative?

2007-09-03T23:43:00.000-05:00

If Terrell Owens talks, why does the lead always have to be so half empty, so "controversial?" My blog friend, Larry Brown Sports, picked up a Q&A in Time Magazine where Owens answered a variety of questions from readers.

When asked about what quarterback he would ideally want to play with, Terrell said:

Man, that’s a tricky question. I don’t want to cause trouble … O.K., I would say Peyton Manning, then Donovan McNabb. Peyton has history on his side, with his dad being a quarterback, and you can’t say enough about how studious he is in the film room.

Terrell is just stating the obvious. And he's being honest, which is what makes Owens interesting in the first place. Did anyone pick Tony Romo first for their fantasy team? Anyone? Anyone? I didn't think so. I suspect Antonio doesn't even play himself in Madden.

The next predictable "lead" was Owens' comments on Donovan McNabb. It can't be a T.O. interview without a question about Donovan.

You know what? I do regret some of the things that happened. Donovan is a great guy. Honestly, I do miss being around him. I learned some things from Donovan. It was a bad situation, and if there were a way I could go back and handle some things differently, I definitely would.

This statement is not only mature, but surprisingly effusive. Why no headlines proclaiming reconciliation between two greats of the game? Owens has indicated that he engaged in some trial and error in the Philly situation, but it's been a long time since we've heard, "Donovan is a great guy." What is it? The memories? Life experience? Personal developments between the two? Empathy for a man recovering from injury and basically fighting for his job. The comment was very genuine and, arguably, a better lead than the quarterback "controversy."

And the interview was otherwise interesting.

Terrell even served up the lead du juor - "so and so athlete said something about Michael Vick."

Hmm. That's a very touchy subject. He's done the right thing by accepting the plea. He realizes that he has to be accountable for what he has done. We all make mistakes--and I'm sure he will grow from it. Everyone deserves a second chance. We're all human. That's what the world has really lost sight of.

How about T.O.'s views on the presidential race? You hardly ever hear athletes express political opinions anymore. When asked if Barack Obama was "Black" enough for his vote, Terrell said:

You know what? It doesn't matter what color the person is. May the best person win. Whoever does the best job, then that's who I'm for. But Obama is making a lot of the right moves.

Owens also answered questions about his self-absorption, Kim Etheredge and the Cowboys' Superbowl prospects. However, my favorite part of the interview was when Terrell revealed his inner soccer mom and how he likes to unwind watching TV.

I'm going to mention two shows. The first is America's Next Top Model. I just like to see how people interact--women can be catty once they're together. And my other favorite is the channel HGTV. I like to do my own decorating. No, I don't have a garden.

And I thought T.O. spent all his free time in his hyberbaric chamber. This is real news! I would tell Terrell that ANTM is played out and that "The Hills" is far superior for instruction in cattiness. And HGTV is awesome, especially in HD. If Owens enjoys a glass of chardonnay, he would fit in any suburb in America. T.O. is relatable. See, that's news.

Travis Deserves It, But Still...

2007-08-31T14:29:00.000-05:00

Why is the media putting Travis Henry on blast? Travis is having some issues with his children and their support payments. The story began in the Atlanta Journal Constitution because Henry is in a child support dispute with a local woman. Then the story made its way to mediatakeout.com. Now, I see it on my Yahoo! front page. Sure, he deserves mention with other father of the year candidates like Brian Urlacher, Floyd Mayweather, Sr. and Andy Reid. However, Matt Leinart get the glossy People Magazine treatment for his child support dispute and the media coos after Tom Brady taking time off work to witness the birth of a son that doesn't even have his last name as a diversion from globe trotting with the next girl. Travis Henry ain't the only baby daddy out there. He's one of the best running backs in the league, but he's probably never had a national article written about him. Just cause he's a mind blowing 9x9...

Wait, you don't know what a 9x9 is?

It's a simple X x Y equation.

x = number of wives/ex-wives/baby mamas (or male equivalent)
y = number of children birthed by x.

Travis Henry has 9 baby mamas and 9 children. Therefore he is a 9x9.
Shawn Kemp is a 6x7 (at least).
Herm Edwards is a 2x3.
Bill Belichick is a 1x3.
Shaquille O'Neal is a 2x5.
Shaunie O'Neal is a 2x5. (see it works both ways!)
Tony Gonzalez is a 2x2.
Oscar De La Hoya is a 3x4.
Larry Bird is a 2x3.

You get it?

The numerical designation carries no universal judgement. It's a just a handy way to stereotype people. However if you're Chinese, the ideal label might be 1x1. If you're a person with a little life experience, maybe 2x3 sounds good to you. If you have super sperm, maybe 4x4 is inevitable for you. If you're a carpenter, maybe 2x4. If you're about your money, maybe 0x0 is music to your ears.

Travis Henry is the category leader right now, but he is just going through life, even if on an exaggerated basis. And here's hoping he'll stop borrowing money from the Titans' petty cash and sell some of those gold chains and cars to take care of all those damn kids.

In Praise of the Prosecution

2007-08-29T12:47:00.000-05:00

The United States Attorneys that prosecuted Michael Vick are named Mike Gill and Brian Whisler.

I bet you didn't know that. And that's a good thing.

There were no press conferences on the courthouse steps. There was no tour of the cable news circuit. There was no hardball. These two men did their job. A law was on the books and they prosecuted. Mr. Gill and Mr. Whisler did not try to make a "name" for themselves. They did not pile on.

When the media proclaimed loudly that Michael Vick would get the worst deal because he was the last to plea, the prosecutors proved them wrong. Vick got the same or better resolution than the other defendants. And rightfully so. Vick is a first time offender. And hardly a menace to society. There is little benefit to society in wasting a prison bed on him.

Sure, maybe this case caught the government's eye because Michael Vick is a celebrity. Maybe they projected a win in the court of public opinion when the target was a young Black man. But they didn't abuse those advantages. Instead, they leveraged speed of investigation, the success rate of federal prosecutions and the inherent power of an interstate conspiracy charge.

And all of the defendants in the Vick case benefited from that professionalism. And society benefited. There is no need to lock dog fighting participants up for the maximum sentence just for the sake of doing it. That's a prison bed that a murderer or a rapist could be residing in. Animal cruelty, dog fighting, etc. have become law enforcement priorities mostly because they are gateway crimes. People that engage in those activities have a propensity to be engaged in gambling and drug enterprises. And while society has compassion for animals, people that do harm to other people are the greatest danger.

It could have been worse. Vick could have gotten the maximum sentence. But why waste time and taxpayer money on prosecuting dog fighters when you can get the drug dealers, the money launderers and the other real scourges. If Vick has to snitch, so be it. He was snitched on first. There's no "code" if no one is adhering to it. If Vick's testimony and the testimony of the other defendants gets drug dealers and gambling kingpins off the streets, then I can be happy about that.

Every public lawyer is not a Mike Nifong. Many lawyers do their job with efficiency and professionalism. It tugs the heart strings to see another Black man end up as a statistic . But the United States prosecutors performed their jobs efficiently and professionally. As a lawyer, I have to give credit where credit is due.

Is Michael Vick Going to Jail?

2007-08-29T11:46:00.000-05:00

When Billy Martin gave his statement on Monday, he referred to December 10 as the date of Michael Vick's "probation hearing". I thought it was another "spring training" slip of the tongue by Mr. Martin, but maybe not.

Circumstances suggest that Michael Vick's defense team is trying to get probation for Michael Vick. Seriously.

They have scheduled a half day of testimony on the day that the mainstream media is referring to as his sentencing date. Vick's lawyers cancelled his appearance on the Tom Joyner morning show yesterday, as if there was still the possibility that Vick could incriminate himself.

Don't take for granted everything the mainstream media is saying. Remember, back in the day, when they said Michael Vick wasn't going to be indicted? That wasn't true. Remember when they loudly proclaimed he was going to get the worst deal because he didn't plea first? That wasn't true. Even the other day, certain people were saying the acceptance of the plea was in jeopardy because the statement of facts. Apparently, the judge doesn't pay much attention to Lester Munson.

The media is downplaying the possibility that Michael Vick will be sentenced to probation or time in a halfway house. That is a reasonable stance, because the possibility of that outcome is definitely a long shot. However the defense is apparently gearing up for the uphill battle. Otherwise, they would have thrown themselves on the mercy of the court and tried to accelerate the sentencing date, so that Vick could enter and leave prison as soon as possible. Instead, the defense has suggested that they're going to take the three months or so to rehabilitate Michael Vick in the eyes of the court. Maybe that will include a media blitz. More than likely it will include some secret grand jury testimony.

The possibility of Michael Vick serving little to no jail time is a potential development to keep your eye on. The prosecution has already demonstrated that they're not in the business of insisting on maximum sentences just for the sake of doing so. The tone of the prosecution suggests that the prosecution may have bigger fish to fry and that, consequently, Vick may have a chance in seeking a light sentence. You never know how things will turn out.

Remembering Althea Gibson

2007-08-28T11:27:00.000-05:00

The U.S. Open honored Althea Gibson at the championship opening ceremony on the 50th anniversary of Ms. Gibson becoming the first Black woman to win the United States championship in tennis. She was finally inducted into the U.S. Open's Court of Champions. Participants in the ceremony included Aretha Franklin; Sheila Johnson, BET co-founder and WNBA owner, former U.S. Senator Carol Moseley Braun; ex-WNBA star Cynthia Cooper; Winter Olympians Vonetta Flowers and Debi Thomas; tennis player Zina Garrison; astronaut Dr. Mae Jemison; Olympic track and field champion Jackie Joyner-Kersee; Traci Green, the first Black tennis coach at Harvard; and actress Phylicia Rashad.

Gibson, who won 11 Grand Slam titles, died in 2003 at the age of 76.

"I have never felt that as a sport and as a society that we have done justice to Althea," USTA president Jane Brown Grimes said. "I feel finally with this opening night celebration we are."

As a child, Grimes spent summers on Long Island and attended the U.S. Nationals at Forest Hills, where she watched Gibson play.

"I was absolutely awe-struck by her," Grimes said. "Her serve was poetry."

Althea Gibson excelled at tennis with the help of benefactors like musician Buddy Walker, boxer Sugar Ray Robinson, and Black doctors Hubert Eaton and Robert Johnson. But she was generally talented. She could also drive a golf ball 325 yards and played golf professionally. She could sing. She even acted in a movie, a John Wayne western.

Ms. Gibson dominated Black tennis competitions until 1950, when she was finally allowed to enter the U.S. National championships. Her participation was stoked by the protest of the then current U.S. National champion, Alice Marble. Ms. Marble wrote an editorial for the July 1, 1950, edition of American Lawn Tennis Magazine which said,

"Miss Gibson is over a very cunningly wrought barrel, and I can only hope to loosen a few of its staves with one lone opinion. If tennis is a game for ladies and gentlemen, it's also time we acted a little more like gentlepeople and less like sanctimonious hypocrites.... If Althea Gibson represents a challenge to the present crop of women players, it's only fair that they should meet that challenge on the courts. [If Gibson were not given the opportunity to compete] then there is an uneradicable mark against a game to which I have devoted most of my life, and I would be bitterly ashamed."

Gibson went on to won 11 major titles in the late 1950s, including singles titles at the French Open (1956), Wimbledon (1957, 1958) and the U.S. Open (1957, 1958), as well as three straight doubles crowns at the French Open (1956, 1957, 1958).

In 1957, she was the first Black to be voted by the Associated Press as its Female Athlete of the Year.

Ms. Gibson endured the tribulations of segregated America even as an exalted athlete. One hotel refused to book reservations for a luncheon in her honor. She claimed not to care about these things.

"I tried to feel responsibilities to Negroes, but that was a burden on my shoulders. Now I'm playing tennis to please me, not them."

"Someone once wrote that the difference between me and Jackie Robinson is that he thrived on his role as a Negro battling for equality whereas I shy away from it. That man read me quite correctly."

After Ms. Gibson quit tennis, she became New Jersey State Commissioner of Athletics in 1975, a post she held for 10 years. She then served on the State's Athletics Control Board until 1988 and the Governor's Council on Physical Fitness until 1992.

Gibson won her first Grand Slam doubles title at the 1956 Wimbledon with partner, Angela Buxton. Ms. Buxton was Jewish. And she may have felt a certain kinship with Ms. Gibson as the media minimized their accomplishments at Wimbledon with the headline, "Minorities Win." Years later, as Ms. Gibson was silently suffering in poverty, declining health and suicidal thoughts, Ms. Buxton came to her aid.

“Because she was so penniless until the last few years of her life, because she was so ill, she phoned me one day to say she was going to do herself in,” said Buxton. “I said ‘just hang on a minute I’m cooking some onions. Let me switch that off and we’ll talk about it’.”

In 1995, Buxton spent $1,500 of her own money to support her friend before making an appeal on her behalf in the magazine Tennis Week, highlighting her hardship. “I didn’t want my name on it in case she got cross with me and wouldn’t speak to me,” she said. “She could get on her high horse very easily."

Althea Gibson's mailbox started to bulge with envelopes full of checks from around the world. Eventually nearly $1 million came in.

Despite the highlights of her life, it is said that Ms. Gibson died reclusive, depressed and bitter. But she didn't die unappreciated.

Those that knew Althea Gibson compare her tennis abilities to the Williams sisters. Ms. Gibson, like the Williams sisters, was tall, athletic and dominant. When it was announced the Williams sisters would play Monday evening, the Williams sisters embraced the honor as the next step in building a minority base in the sport.

“We’ve come a long way,” Serena Williams told USA Today. “Obviously, there’s still a space to go. It takes time. It takes people like Althea and Zina and Venus and myself to keep it out there and to keep fighting and playing."

Both of the Williams sisters won Monday night.

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Fashion Round Up - US Open

2007-08-28T09:30:00.000-05:00

The US Open has begun and the Williams sisters have been especially krispy.

Awww... Plaid for Arthur Ashe Kids Day.

Venus rocks her new Steve & Barry line. Frankly, that's better than anything Reebok outfitted her in. I love the pleated skirt. Pleats are naughty.

I can't even see the bottom of this outfit, but Serena looks cute to def.

This may be the cutest outfit Serena has ever worn on court. I love the ghetto fabulous earrings that say "Serena". (Of course, I picked up my pair from the beauty supply months ago). I love the short curly hair. And I love, LOVE that bow. Well, speaking of the bow. The bow met a tragic end toward the end of Serena's opening match. It was ugly. I don't want to speak of it.

It wouldn't be a Williams sister round up if somebody wasn't putting the "error" in "trial and error." Generally, Serena looks cute in this dress. But I believe the words she was searching for are, "Secret Prescription Strength."

And I guess the Williams sisters get it from they momma. Oracene, child, that's too much blonde.

Still, Janet Jackson and her bangles applaud the overall effort.

And so does Christie Brinkley.

Maria Sharapova also did her fashion plate thing. She rocked a beret. Which is funny because she's Russian, not French. Hilarious!

Some sparkles.

And some shapeless couture.

Ehhhh.... She's no Serena, but she's trying.

Obligatory Fantasy Football Appearance

2007-08-27T23:10:00.000-05:00

I am a fantasy football rookie. I blog, but I am not a complete nerd. Deal with it.

But someone invited me to participate in a league and I accepted. The whole thing was quite embarrassing actually. I had technical difficulties, so auto pick ended up doing the first two rounds. (I had done some preliminary draft ordering.) I picked, not with piles of research by my side, but according to the flow of the draft and my general football knowledge. This is why I ended up with 4 starters with a week 6 bye. Not only was I too busy "concentrating" to talk smack to the other league members, but I asked a stupid girl question too. "Can I pick any position now that I've filled my starting roster?" Several people answered "Yup", but I'm sure they were laughing hysterically.

Still, I did okay. Here are my picks by round. This is team, "Jerry Jones' Botox".

Peyton Manning, QB, Indy
Travis Henry, RB, Denver
Marion Barber, RB, Dallas
TJ Who's Your Mama, WR, Cincy
Calvin "Big Hands" Johnson, WR, The D
Jason Witten, TE, The Other D
Donte Stallworth, WR, Home of the Rooney Rule
DST, Pittsburgh's Not so Bad
Robbie Gould, K, Cuz Rex Grossman Isn't Going to Throw For Any Touchdowns

On Reserves:

Jason Campbell, QB, The City that Craves a Black Quarterback More than Atlanta
Patrick Crayton, WR, Where TO Loves the Kids
Antwaan Randle El, WR, Washington
Najeh Davenport, RB, Pittsburgh Isn't That Bad. Really!
Martin Gramatica, K, Dallas

So, what do you think? Not too shabby for a rookie.

A Lonely Man

2007-08-27T21:25:00.000-05:00

Michael Vick was alone today.

You are alone when there is only a suit earning his hourly wage at your side. Michael Vick had no wife by his side. Only a female marshall. It was the same marshall that escorted him into the arraignment a few weeks back. I guess that's what qualifies as a friend in Michael Vick's life these days.

In the end, Michael Vick had no friends. Not his homeboys his flipped on him. Not his owner, who accepted Vick's apology without enthusiasm. Not even his dad, who put his crackhead tendencies on blast to air out his son.

Vick only has what could be merely defined as "supporters." A handful of journalists. Some sports talk callers. A few buses of supporters brought in from his hometown, members of a church he funded with his own money. They outnumbered the detractors on the courtroom sidewalk. It seems apropos that the church was there for him at his low point. It's not unusual that somebody from the congregation brings a plate 'roun the way when you're a shut in. Vick will sit alone shut in and shut out from the world, confined within the borders of Virginia, for the next few months. Soon, he will probably be confined within a prison cell. Once again, alone.

And he stood alone at that podium.

"What I did was immature. So that means I have to grow up."

I couldn't help but feel sorry for Michael as he faces the singular road to maturity. I wouldn't wish that loneliness on anyone. And I can't help but feel relieved to be emerging from the bizarro world where people can watch animals beat the shit out of each other on the Discovery Channel, but condemn Vick for doing the same in his own back yard. Where nobody blinks at Kobe Bryant getting private air shuttles to his court dates or numerous criminals playing in the NFL, but feel superior in condemning Vick as committing the most reprehensible crime imaginable. I know it's not over, but I hope today was the first day of the rehabilitation of Michael Vick. As a human being, I can't stand to watch him suffer. Vick promised that he would redeem himself. I've got my fingers crossed. And I hope he finds some real friends on the other side.

Venus' Shoe Game

2007-08-26T18:52:00.000-05:00

Venus Williams joins athletes Stephon Marbury, Ben Wallace, and Bubba Watson in marketing shoes and clothing for Steve and Barry's. Venus will design the line of high performance, lifestyle and active clothing and footwear.

The line will be called EleVen (a nod to her childhood address in Lynwood, CA and, I assume, her name). Venus will start modeling the line tomorrow at the US Open, although the line won't be available for purchase until November. Everything in the line will be priced under $19.98, including the shoes, like everything at Steve & Barry's.

It is not clear how the deal with Steve and Barry's impacts her deal with Reebok. However, Venus has designed a line of clothing before that she has worn on court for Wilson's Leather.

Lately, Venus has been looking pretty good in her various appearances. She and her sister have explored a lot of looks via the trial and error method. Hopefully, beads won't be prominently featured in her line.

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Recoupment or Windfall?

2007-08-26T09:21:00.000-05:00

Reports have emerged that the Falcons are going to seek to recover $22 million of signing bonus money from Michael Vick. It is too early to predict whether the Falcons will be successful in recouping any or all of that money. Maybe even the players union will make an appearance. Maybe they will have something to say about recouping money from a player that is able to play (Vick's incarceration likely won't begin for months) and whether Goodell is making suspension determinations in the name of discipline or providing windfalls for owners.

Still, there are some reasons beyond the text of the player contract or the collective bargaining agreement why the Falcons might want to go easy on this one.

Firstly, Michael Vick made the Falcons PLENTY of money. Far more than $22 million or any salary they have paid Michael Vick. He sells the seats, the luxury boxes and the jerseys... Or at least he did. The Falcons can just invest their number 7 profits and collect the interest. If you're going to milk a man dry, at least do it in the Shield tradition and make him leave everything on the field.

The Falcons shouldn't necessarily be rewarded for their own conduct concerning the Vick matter. Arthur Blank chose to hover in the shadow of Goodell. That was his choice and his choice alone. If Blank was really about the bottom line, which is always clearer than the murky path of good public relations, he would be doing everything he could to keep his gift horse on the field. Arthur Blank is in the unique position of being dependent on essentially one player. The Falcons, as a team, have little goodwill in Atlanta. PETA, while loud and annoying, is not numerous enough to obstruct all the gates of the Georgia Dome. Another team is going to sign Michael Vick when he is available again. Blank could have chosen to ride the rough patch out and carried on with business. You can't give away money and then ask for it back.

Why should the Falcons be able to recoup all those millions from Michael when the Falcons could have spent a few thousand dollars on a private investigator? Then they would have known about Vick's activities and potentially been in a position to control them. The government was able to detail Vick's activities in a matter of weeks. Yet, the Falcons gave him over a hundred million dollars over a course of years, and they plead ignorance over how he spent his spare time. That's laughable. And just negligent.

Only an NFL emboldened by seemingly limitless powers over the players would sign off on the Falcons doing this. However, any agent with a brain is going to realize that the signing bonus is becoming increasingly vulnerable. Some players may instead opt to insist on higher base salaries or front loaded contracts. If that comes to fruition, the whole league will pay.

And what about the fans? For months, it seems like I have been waking up to bad news about the Falcons every morning. Michael Vick and the Falcons have caused me an incredible amount of fatigue. I want it to be over. I want to move on and enjoy sports and have fun with it. Yet, the Falcons choose to subject me and other sports fans to morning headlines about the status of their litigation with Michael Vick. They could choose to propose a reasonable settlement that would provide little consternation in lieu of playing hardball. There is difference between exercising the rights that are technically available to you and being fair. Instead, they are volunteering to jump on top of the pile on that is smothering all football fans, not just Vick. Please, spare me.

On Martyrdom

2007-08-23T23:53:00.000-05:00

ESPN Page 2 writer Jemele Hill cautions "Us" not to make Vick a martyr. She claims Vick "alone should be held accountable for his actions."

If only it were that simple.

Every story has a background. Explaining is not excusing. Those obsessed with examining the nuances are not worse than those who are content to bask in the ignorance of political correctness.

Ms. Hill is among many media members who insist on oversimplified good or bad designations... black and white classifications.. the romantic and naive disposition of heroes and villains.

Ms. Hill writes, "Do not applaud him for taking his comeuppance." And why not? Since when is accepting responsibility a bad thing? It should not matter whether Vick is concerned. Living a life of value is the ideal fulfillment of a human life. And despite ESPN's effort to dehumanize Vick, he is still a person.

There is no need to feign that Michael Vick has no good qualities just to bolster condemnation of his misdeeds. Yes, he has done bad things and he will suffer the consequences. We all do that on varying levels. Michael is just an ordinary human being.

It has been reported that if Vick would have gone forward with a trial, other players would have become involved in the proceedings. If Michael plead guilty, even in part, to save his teammates and friends from personal, criminal or professional consequences, isn't that a noble thing? If Michael plead guilty, even in part, to save his co-defendants from the potential predicament of having to be subjected to additional serious charges that they didn't have credibility or resources to defend, that's not admirable? If Michael plead guilty, even in part, to save the NFL - the almighty shield - from taking a beating from ESPN (they have not spared any staff or airtime to not discuss Michael Vick over the past few months), isn't that responsible behavior toward the entity that made him prosperous? Even if he is just a tragic example of what not to do to some prospective successful person, hasn't Vick served a positive purpose? All things considered - and I mean ALL things considered - it's hard to conclude that Vick is completely unworthy of being discussed for his positive qualities.

I'm not sure exactly who Ms. Hill is accusing of heralding Vick as a martyr. Just because some choose to defer to their compassionate tendencies or amend their proclamations about Michael with "he deserves fair treatment", instead of interrupting every mention of his name with "what he did was reprehensible", doesn't mean that their perspective is inferior.

Pic of the Day

2007-08-23T22:05:00.000-05:00

As Larry Johnson rushes to sign his contract on Hard Knocks, that shirt caught my eye. One has to wonder.. Hmmmmm. Is that cleavage?

(If you know the West Village boutique where Larry found this top, holla at your girl!)

Someone Dares to Challenge the Dictator

2007-08-22T12:24:00.000-05:00

Two players have quietly filed lawsuits against the NFL over their arbitrary suspensions. You gotta do what you gotta do when your so called "union" is unconcerned about your reinstatement.

Odell Thurman of the Cincinnati Bengals and Torrie Cox of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers have filed discrimination claims with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC).

No, it's not what you think.

The players are not claiming racial discrimination, but discrimination based on disability. The lawsuits were filed with the EEOC under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). Basically, the players are asserting that they have been treated as alcoholics in the eyes of the NFL. Furthermore, the players are contending that alcoholism is a disability. They are claiming that the commissioner has a negative view of alcoholics and he only suspended them because he perceives the players to be alcoholics. The ADA prohibits employers from discriminating against workers with disabilities.

There is precedent for the players' claim. Roy Tarpley was suspended from the NBA in 1995. The EEOC ruled that NBA violated the ADA when it did not reinstate Tarpley even though he apparently passed drug screenings for four straight years.

Thurman's agent claims that he has passed all league administered tests.

Goodell is facing the lawsuit mostly because he has not established clear standards for suspension. When he denied Thurman's request for reinstatement, Goodell cited no reason.

And even though the league, the owners and even the player's union feel comfortable with Goodell as arbitrary arbiter of discipline, Goodell's authority is not the only authority that matters.

Some Things Should Be Easy to Say

2007-08-22T10:56:00.000-05:00

Statements being made about Michael Vick by other athletes have an interesting context.

Joe Horn, veteran Falcons wide receiver, gave this adamant statement about Michael Vick:

“I love Michael Vick as a friend and I'm going to always be his friend. People go through things in life, and you can't throw stones when you live in a glass house; and I'm not going to judge him and I'm not going to step away and not be his friend off the football field because he's going through what he's going through.

“I'm not saying what Mike was involved with was OK, I'm not agreeing with that. I think it was wrong and I know he will have to deal with the consequences. But off the football field he's a friend and ... I'm not going to step away from Michael Vick as a human being and say, 'I'm not involved with you, I don't want anything to do with you, don't call me.'”

I don't think it's a coincidence that a veteran NFLer felt comfortable expressing his feelings about Vick. Joe Horn is over the hump in playing years. He likely doesn't fear much professional retribution or penalty for speaking his mind. He may just be brazen in his old age. But experience may have taught him that there is often no reward for staying on the fence.

Compare Horn's statements to those of other players. DeAngelo Hall, supposedly one of the superstars and de facto leaders of the Falcons and one of Vick's teammates at Virginia Tech didn't even feel comfortable making a statement.

“They’ve got me under a gag order."

Head Coach Petrino said any gag orders were self-imposed.

DeAngelo has never been afraid of the microphone before. I wonder why he didn't he feel comfortable expressing his feelings on the Vick situation, whatever his opinion may be. Is the media only useful for accusing people of spitting?

Also, Warrick Dunn made a statement basically in the same vein as Joe Horn's, but without nearly the same succinctness. Consequently, Dunn is constantly misunderstood.

"It's like we have a family member or brother done something wrong.

You chastise him but still have to support him at the same time.

"As an ex-teammate, right now [Coach Petrino] definitely wants the guys on this football team to move on and move forward. You can't stay in a certain place. He expects us to go out and play hard. Do we wish he was here? Of course but he circumstances say otherwise."

Most media recounts chopped up that quote and derived, "Dunn is the first to call Vick an ex-teammate." Dunn will likely be calling Vick once again to complain about being misquoted and taken out of context. Dunn should just say what he means instead of wasting words trying not to offend anybody.

Stephon Marbury also didn't feel shy about sharing what was on his mind. Also, Stephon Marbury called Vick a "good human being."

"We don't say anything about people shooting deers and shooting other animals, you know what I mean?. From what I hear, dogfighting is a sport. It's just behind closed doors and I think it's tough that we build Michael Vick up and then we break him down ... I think he fell into a bad situation."

What makes Stephon so brazen? His guaranteed contract?

Marbury can speak without fear of professional retribution. He can say pretty much whatever he wants knowing he can go to work the next day. An NFL player frequently lacks that sense of security.

And Marbury has more than just a player contract to worry about. He has media interests, charitable endeavors and endorsements to maintain. Still, Marbury seems comfortable enough in his own skin to be himself. The path to success is not always paved with political correctness.

Whether it's the contrast of NBAers not hesitating to take shots at the league over a dirty referee versus an NFLer like Tiki Barber saving his shots at the quarterback until he's safely behind the desk, it's often apparent that athletes have to be in a certain situation to be truly outspoken. We should be aware that what we hear from them is filtered.

Update:

Another veteran player, Fred McCrary, speaks freely.

Did These Guys Get the Memo?

2007-08-21T16:32:00.000-05:00

Two separate articles on Yahoo! and CBS Sportsline quote people close to the league willing to re-sign Vick afer his punishment. Michael Vick has committed the worst crime known to society. That is why he will serve a whole 12 or so months in ~~camp~~ jail. He narrowly avoided lethal injection. Gosh.

Former Green Bay Packers general manager and engineer of the 1996 Superbowl championship, Ron Wolf, says:

"If he pays his debt to society, why shouldn't he get another chance? Maybe I don't understand something in all of this, but you're supposed to get a second chance in this country.

We've had a lot of people in this league do a lot of bad things, and they still got a chance. Leonard Little killed someone (while drunk driving). Jamal Lewis went to prison (in connection to) selling drugs. Are you telling me that killing eight dogs is worse than killing a human being? … Yes, this is bad, but are you really telling me that he doesn't deserve a chance to play again when other people have committed crimes and come back?"

Another general manager says:

"It's going to take an owner who has big ones or a GM who has some (trophies) on his (side) to make that work. Since Vick still is under contract with the Falcons, executives from other teams are not allowed to talk about him from an employment standpoint."

I am on record saying that Arthur Blank lacks big ones.

The same article cites Jerry Jones and Al Davis as owners likely to be willing to take the "risk" of signing Vick.

An unnamed current general manager (claiming the NFL has asked current team officials not to publicly comment on the Vick case) says in the CBS article:

"If he goes to prison, time will pass. Months or years will pass, if he does go to jail. If he went to jail, and then left prison down the road, he'd still be relatively young, and there'd be a line of 15 to 20 teams waiting to sign him. Trust me on that. Teams are going to say, 'F--- PETA. F--- the bad pub. This guy is one of the most talented players of the last 10 years. I'll take my chances.'

Teams may say one thing publicly. But if he gets out of jail, we'll all be looking at Vick hard. We're all whores in football. You know the saying. We'd sign an ax murderer if he has ability. He'll be back. He won't be back in Atlanta probably but he'll be back in professional football. You can count on it."

In case you missed it, "We're all whores in football. You know the saying. We'd sign an ax murderer if he has ability."

He said "ho", but with an r-uh. That means he's serious.

Wouldn't it be funny if all the owners and GM's were running game on newbie owner, Arthur Blank.

"Yeah, Art. Cut that dude. It's going to be a PR nightmare." All the while, they're chomping at the bit to sign Vick in 2009 at a discount.

Yeah, Falcons fans find that prospect hilarious.

Sundays

2007-08-21T09:48:00.000-05:00

Just like ol' times... Once again, Sundays are for going to church and drinking the beer you stockpiled on Saturday*.

For the foreseeable future, professional football is on an indefinite hiatus in Atlanta. Michael Vick is going to jail. DJ Shockley (3rd string, but product of UGA) is injured and out for the season. Our other stars, Warrick Dunn and Alge Crumpler, are old and struggling to overcome injuries. DeAngelo Hall is healthy, but he will probably still get burned by the first receiver he covers.

It's not an overstatement to say that the Falcons depended on Michael Vick for just about everything - on and off the field. Vick confounded the defenses. Vick sold the season tickets. And now he's gone.

My most memorable Vick moment on the field was a recent one and, ironically, a loss. It was last season's home game against the Saints. I was there in person and the clock was whittled down to the fourth quarter. We were down and time was running out. Yet, Vick remained determined. He scrambled incessantly. He ran the ball crazy. He threw the ball hopefully (there's only so much you can do with White and Jenkins). He put the team on his back. He never gave up. It was clear from section 100 to section 300 in the Dome. The crowd booed the Falcons. But there were nothing but cheers for Michael Vick.

And then.... after the game, Vick flipped off a Saints fan. And, yeah, Vick is the same guy who was pulled over in a vehicle the other day with extra dark tint, but too stupid to put his seat belt on before the cop reached his car. (Mike, he couldn't see you.) And, yeah, he was too whatever to duck the charges that are going to put him behind bars. Yep, that was my quarterback.

Still, the highs were always greater than the lows with number seven. It is what it is, but I won't forget all the happiness Mr. Vick brought me and other Falcons fans on Sundays.

Now who's going to help me haul all this Icehouse out to the trunk of my car?

*Alcohol sales in retail stores are not allowed in Georgia on Sundays.

If You're In the Mood For a Comedy This Weekend

2007-08-17T13:19:00.000-05:00

I was just trying to find out who Vince McMahon's illegitimate child is, but I found out a little more than I bargained for. Via PWInsider, Evander Holyfield going to wrestle on WWE Saturday Night Main Event.

He is going to pair up with wrestler MVP, the Terrell Owens of the WWE. PW Insider reports that Evander is going to "box" Matt Hardy. They even claim Evander will get his own intro music and video. Hilarity will ensue. I'm sure it will be good for a laugh, even if it doesn't exactly qualify as a legitimate warm-up for his October 13 heavyweight fight in Moscow. It comes on at 11:30 EST on NBC.

White People Are Better At Everything!

2007-08-17T12:10:00.000-05:00

Damn them. I've just gotten back from the meeting. (Yes, it's true. We have meetings. We discuss things.) And We've decided that White people are eroding many of the Black community's "specialties." If this trend continues, We'll have no sense of identity. We'll just be... plain. This is the worst crisis to inflict the Community since Eminem started rapping. An intial list of enemies to the cause follows.

	Teenage Pregnancy Joe Namath's 16 year old daughter, Olivia, has just given birth to a child fathered by a 19 year old. "She was pregnant at 15," says a source. "He claims to be thrilled." Joe's ex-wife has decided to take care of the baby while Joe's daughter finishes high school. The family opts to take care of the child at home instead of forcing the girl to enroll the baby at the day care center at Olivia's high school (Everybody doesn't have those?). That's classy, yo.
	"Stop Snitching" Movement Black people pioneered this movement and White people have run with it. My people sold a few t-shirts, but Greg Anderson may have usurped Lil' Kim as the #1 non-snitcher in history. Kim got a cushy reality show, but Greg continues to rot in jail while Michael Vick's "boys" have flipped on him left and right. Shiftless, good for nothing Negroes...
	Coping With Unemployment Dan Patrick bounces from the quintessential "good government job" and doesn't even have to hit the unemployment office. Negroes on their last week of benefits eligibility after being laid off at the plant are mad jealous.
	Down Low Brotha Men pretending to be straight while engaging in secret homosexual activity is the latest plague on Black families. Brady Quinn has not only deluded his girlfriend, but the Cleveland Browns and the whole league. Eddie Murphy, Al Reynolds, Johnny Gill, Mase, Cuttino, etc. have NOTHING on this guy.
	Reaping the Advantages of Being White God knows Black people have been trying to do this since the beginning of time. But while we're stocking up on blonde weave and blue contacts, Jared Allen demonstrates how it's done. Be a repeat drunk. Get latest DUI. Get suspended for 4 games. Secretly slip the Commissioner your team photo. Magically get suspension reduced to two games and get profiled on Hard Knocks as a feel good story of redemption. And although you're not supposed to be drinking, drink fake beer. O'Douls cures acoholism. Everyone knows this. We're taking notes from the White boy with a Black name, Jared.
	Abandoning Your Family Black men have been trying to perfect this for forever and a day. But We can only learn from the master race. Tom Brady has left his family in the dust. Sure, Tom may send a check, but who is going to teach that kid not to hate women? Of course, Tom doesn't cut any corners by marrying a bitch. But not only does he leave the mother of his child, he doesn't settle for just another hoodrat. He upgrades! Bridget was only going to nag and gain weight. Giselle has a bangin' fattie. Where was the choice? The hood is watching you, Tom. We are in awe.
	Yelling At Your Baby Mama Another pioneering effort taken over by the White man. I mean, there wouldn't even be baby mamas if it wasn't for Black men! White people were choosing to go with the linguistically cumbersone "mother of my child." But Brian Urlacher took a good idea and improved upon it. "Go to hell you fucking cunt." "Grow the fuck up and quit praying and get a job." "You're a fucking fruit cake." "Your raising a little pussy." Wow. Even the Lord of Child Support P. Diddy couldn't produce a remix that pleases the ear of a Black man more.
	Stealing From Your Employer and Resellng the Loot Out the Trunk of Your Car Imus gets fired for mouthing off and gets $20 million for the inconvenience. Then he gets to pimp his services to the next sucker. When Tyrone got fired from Circuit City for bein' late all the time, he could only cop 1 flat screen on the way out. He only got like $300 for that shit too. We need to do better.
	Excessive Use of Profanity Black people have wasted years priming their children with exposure to inappropriate rap songs and making sure our kids have bus passes so they can show off their skills at the top of their lungs on public transportation all over the world. Still, but nobody know how to drop a "shit", "damn" or "fuck" like Gunther Cunningham, Defensive Coordinator of the Kansas City Chiefs. When he does it, everybody just has a good chuckle. When our kids do it, everybody clutches their purse. What's up with that?
	Praising the Lord We have wasted so many breaths saying "First, I want to thank God" at the beginning of every BET Award acceptance speech. Ray Lewis might as well cancel the prayer circle. Kurt Warner is the OZ (Original Zealot). We might as well pack up the gospel choir and head home.
	Turning a Ho Into a Housewife Too Short told Us that this was an impossible task. But I guess we should find better role models. David Beckham made a Spice Girl past her prime respectable. And still left a little bit of ho in her for his entertainment purposes.
	Makin' a Ho Work the Tracks Tim Hasselbeck holds a clipboard for the NY Giants while he makes his ~~bottom bitch~~ wife earn his weed money. Elizabeth is out there battling Rosie O'Donnell and earning millions on The View. It's hard out here for a pimp? Only for Negroes. The White man does this with ease.
	Kool-Aid Sommelier There's no documentation of this, but I've heard things in the streets. I hear Peyton is doing terrific things with mangoes and kiwi puree. Doctoring up Kool-Aid with orange slices, pineapple chunks and an extra cup of sugar is played out.

And that may be just the tip of the iceberg folks. Hopefully, we can get Al to stage a rally. Maybe Whitlock to write a column. We can't aford to let this trend continue. We have so little left. It's no wonder we're clinging to dog fighting and making it rain. And there's no doubt White people will be upstaging us on that too.

Gangsta D and myself both insist that we contributed 3/5 of the humor to this post. We have agreed to spend less time perpetuating stereotypes and more time on math.

Pic of the Day

2007-08-15T21:58:00.000-05:00

TO and Tony Romo discuss Terry Glenn's projected receptions for the season.

Gangsta D is a devoted Cowboy fan and excellent tipper - in and out of the strip club.

Perils of Being a Female

2007-08-15T21:54:00.000-05:00

My brothers stole my PS2 a while back. After they gave it to me as a Christmas present no less.

Today, I found out that, not only do they continue to "borrow" my PS2, they went to the local bodega at midnight and purchased Madden '08.

They're playing the latest Madden on MY PS2. That's some bullshit.

Joey Harrington Whines

2007-08-15T20:35:00.000-05:00

Atlanta Falcons starting quarterback Joey Harrington reminisces about his time in Detroit:

".. I got a lot of people who would leave notes. I got a couple of death threats on my voicemail. It got to the point where I had to take my family out of the stands because people were trying to start fights with my mom."

Joey might want to spring for box seats at the Georgia Dome. Lest his lovely bride, Emily, be surrounded by #7 jerseys. It may take awhile for Falcons fans to let go of the past.

Harrington continued to complain about the difficult lifestyle one is forced to lead when they throw more interceptions than touchdowns.

"I've gone through very extreme cycles. There was a year or two where I would have to wear a baseball cap to make it to my flight on time. And then on the other end, I'd have to wear one because I was scared to go to the grocery store without a baseball cap because I didn't want somebody to accost me outside the citrus aisle.

But I learned to take it in stride. What happened in Detroit is I let other people determine my happiness. When I start letting Joe Fan in row 32, seat E tell me if I'm a good person, I got issues."

Joey seems delicate. I hope he can cope with life in the Dome. There will be losses. If for no reason than the fact that we have a new coach fresh from the college ranks. That ALWAYS results in immediate success.

In a separate article, Harrington complains about the Detroit Lions offense and how he was "handcuffed" from being his normally amazing self.

"Because of what was being coached, the mistakes I had made, the way I was being received, I got to a point where I was scared to throw the ball downfield. Finally I said, 'Forget it.'

This is probably going to come off sounding poorly, but it was like, 'Screw you guys. I know what I need to do to be a good quarterback.' In order for me to play well, I need to be a bit selfish. I need to tell myself, 'You know what? I'm going to throw that post route. And if it gets picked off, screw it. I'm going to throw the post route again, because I know it's open.' "

Not only is Joey Harrington a below average NFL starting quarterback, he is classy too. That's why he was backing up a cripple who cavorts with whores out on a lake in Miami. I will be shocked - shocked - if he starts complaining about the Falcons offense too.

The Falcons are going to be SOOOOOO awesome this season.

Warrick Dunn Complains

2007-08-15T20:13:00.000-05:00

"I don't think anybody on this team right now is hoping that Mike comes back. If he comes back, that's great, but I just think right now we're at a point where the guys that are here are trying to get better and move on down the road. Mike is going to be missed and has been missed, but at the same time you have to go on."

Atlanta Falcons running back Warrick Dunn takes offense that this quote was used in both ESPN and AJC/AP stories to suggest that he is indifferent to Michael Vick.

Consequently, Dunn appeared on the 2 Live Stews today to clarify his statements. He said, among other things:

"By no means would I say that I wouldn't want to play with Mike Vick... We want you back."

Warrick said that he spoke to Mike Vick to clarify the "misquote" and that Mike understood. Vick and Dunn have historically been roommates at training camp.

Warrick is battling to regain form from herniated disc surgery in the offseason. The Falcons are going to be SOOOOO awesome this season.

Active Animal Cruelty Charge, Active on the Roster

2007-08-15T19:46:00.000-05:00

The AJC reports that Atlanta Falcons defensive tackle Jonathan Babineaux's felony animal cruelty charge is still winding it's way through the legal system.

Babineaux was charged in February in the death of Kilo, a pit bull-mix owned by his girlfriend.

Babineaux's girlfriend said she and Babineaux argued on February 18 and that Babineaux later suggested she return home to check on the dog after she went out to a movie.

The girlfriend told police she found Kilo in "severe physical distress". Initial tests showed that the dog died of blunt force trauma to the head, likely by hammer.

The dead dog has been frozen and will re-examined by an expert.

Jonathan Babineaux is active on the Falcons roster and is projected to be a starter.

The pic is of Lucky, a pit bull brought into an Atlanta shelter this week. The knife was removed today and her prognosis is good. Hopefully, she will be adopted by someone not on the Atlanta Falcons roster.

Will Vick Take Michael Irvin's Advice?

2007-08-14T09:50:00.001-05:00

A couple of weeks ago, Michael Irvin appeared on the 2 Live Stews radio show and said, among other things, said that Michael Vick should take a plea deal.

Now, if anyone knows about the trials and tribulations of the legal system, it's Michael Irvin. Is Irvin the legal analyst we should have been hearing from all along?

Today brings the news that Michael Vick's co-defendants have decided to enter plea deals later this week. Vick's spokesperson, Collins Spencer (who was "let go" from reading the news on a local tv station earlier this year), said the defense team didn't see it coming.

That's a joke, right?

At the arraignment, it appeared the co-defendants, except Tony Taylor, might have been cooperating with one another. If Vick's professional team was actually surprised about this latest development in the case, it would just be the latest in the comedy of errors in his handling of this matter.

Just another strange, if not negative, turn in the Vick case... Michael's lawyers have reportedly met with the federal prosecutors regarding a plea deal for Vick that must be accepted by Friday.

I certainly would not call this good news, but it's still definitively predict what this means. There is still no information about the specific nature of the pleas. Tony Taylor plead with no assurances about his sentence. The other co-defendants mostly have nothing to lose if "nothing to lose" means millions of dollars in NFL salary and endorsements. Are they pleading for the sake of any reduction in their sentences or for a significant reward from the prosecutors? The prosecutors can't force a certain version of testimony. A witness in court can only be forced to tell the truth. Who knows which way the co-defendants roll? Tony Taylor had a personal falling out with the co-defendants. It's not clear if the other defendants have any special motivation to turn on Michael Vick.

It should be noted that, if Vick goes to trial alone, it will likely change the nature of the testimony at the trial. The other co-defendants were alleged to be involved in the day to day activities of the dog fighting operation. Generally, Michael Vick was alleged to be a financial sponsor and present at certain fights. If the prosecutors were hoping to present gut wrenching testimony of animal cruelty in order to sway the jury, it will be more difficult to accomplish that task with only Vick as a co-defendant. The nature of the trial could become far less sensationalistic.

Michael Irvin's advice aside, I'm not sure why Michael Vick would have hired all those high profile lawyers just to plea. High profile lawyers do not like to lose. Billy Martin, et. al wouldn't have signed up if they didn't think they had a reasonable chance of accomplishing something positive. Maybe Vick will go for it. We know he likes to gamble. A lot of people have turned their backs on him. Perhaps he's at the point where he has nothing to lose too.

Common Sense, Not Civil Rights

2007-08-08T22:48:00.000-05:00

I resent ESPN trying to make Michael Vick a civil rights issue.

It's not that deep.

Wright Thompson of ESPN wrote an article invoking the names of the Kings, the Abernathys, the Youngs and the Aarons in an effort to "explain" why Black people might support Michael Vick. The Leader is only attempting to trivialize and undermine the community that supports Vick; pander to a certain audience that is just not comfortable with their real feelings; and, worst of all, cover-up their own biased and excessive coverage of the charges against Michael Vick. I won't accept that article as a mea culpa for ESPN's senseless assassination of Michael Vick.

Some people just need to admit they have never liked Michael Vick.

The list of complaints is potentially long and legitimate. If it applies to you, repeat after me. "He doesn't play the position the 'right' way." "He's never lived up to the hype." "He doesn't remind me of my traditional quarterback heroes." "Ron Mexico has no class and he has herpes." "Vick became a bad role model for my children when he flipped off a (Saints) fan in the stands." "I hate cornrows and he looks like a punk." "I can't relate to him." "I just don't really like Black people."

Anything. But don't pretend.

Don't pretend like Vick is accused of committing the most heinous crime imaginable. There are far worse things a person could be accused of. And don't pretend like America is full of animal rights activists. This is not a country of vegetarians. Furthermore, this is a country full of Wal-Mart shoppers. As a collective, we will undermine rights, human or otherwise, to save a penny.

And don't pretend like the only explanation for empathy for Michael Vick is because of the civil rights experience and/or its corresponding baggage.

Cause I have never felt sorry for Michael Vick before. Not ever. And me feeling empathy for Michael Vick has nothing to do with civil rights or anybody named Abernathy. It has to do with common sense. And ESPN trying to say otherwise is a pathetic attempt to play the race card against me when they have programmed their channel for the purpose of piling on Vick. They have no excuse. No King, Young or Aaron can absolve them.

The issue is not animal cruelty.

Just for example, Jonathan Babineux remains on the Atlanta Falcons roster and he is accused of bashing a puppy in the head with a hammer to get back at his girlfriend. And I doubt too many people will be throwing away their "Pulp Fiction" DVDs because they can't stand to think of Marsellus' Mastiffs mauling a man to death.

It's not even about morality.

How can Donovan McNabb be criticized for standing by his friend and Arthur Blank not be scrutinized for turning his back on his "friend"?

The issue is not corporate public relations.

The NFL is full of criminals - alleged and actual. And sponsors that have distanced themselves from Vick have stood by people accused of committing far worse crimes than Vick and have even used dog fighting to market their goods.

The issue is not about Vick's certain legal doom.

Any neutral lawyer could read the indictment (remember, we're just at the indictment stage) and hypothesize a defense. Whether just by due diligence, eyewitness attacks, the difficulty of proving a triple pronged conspiracy charge or God forbid - the presumption of innocence.

Right now, the indictment against Vick is what it is. There is no evidence to suggest the indictment is based on anything but a belief that Vick did what the Feds said he did. Maybe his celebrity made him an attractive target. Maybe his race. But the charges are what they are.

It's the court of public opinion where Vick is being railroaded. And it's not companies who have rights to terminate their relationship with Vick merely exercising those rights. It's the knee jerking. It's the piling on. It's the selective use of facts. And despite Wright Thompson's attempts, it's ESPN.

ESPN doesn't employ the personnel to reasonably deal with this story. They employ a few guys who know the x's and o's. They employ a lot of other guys who just yell whatever opinion will get the most attention. And, yes, Wright, damn skippy, I take Vick's predicament personally. I take it personally as a Falcons fan. I take it personally as a Black person. But first and foremost, I take it personally as a rational person willing to wait and see the situation play out on its own. Let's call a spade a spade. There's no need to color the situation.

I Told You the Pressure Would Get To Him

2007-08-08T20:26:00.000-05:00

Guess who's under the mask? You know you recognize that leotard anywhere.

With Bonds out of the way, Kobe in Europe and the Vick mess on temporary hiatus, Terrell Owens reclaims the spotlight only the way he can.

And he brought back the leotard!

Good God, that man brings a smile to my face. And the season hasn't even started yet...

I'm Very Excited About This

2007-08-08T19:55:00.000-05:00

(NSFW Language)

The Boondocks is returning soon. I think October Novemberish.

I know the season is probably already produced, but I do have a wishlist.

1. Please roast Al Sharpton. He's not all bad, but he needs to be knocked down a peg or two or two thousand.

2. Please roast the SCLC. They were ridiculous for thinking of "honoring" Michael Vick. They couldn't have possibly meant "honor". They must have meant whup with a switch.

3. Please roast Jason Whitlock. I know he's not that famous and the Uncle Ruckus character is a fabulous figurative interpretation of him, but I know Aaron McGruder can bring the heat stronger.

Those are my wishes.

Barry Bonds is a Baseball Hero and Hank Aaron is Not a Hater

2007-08-08T08:17:00.000-05:00

Firstly, I want to say that Hank Aaron did enough. I've accused Hank of being a hater in past posts. But he did enough. I'm satisfied. It wasn't necessarily personal. Hank's sentiments weren't all that heartfelt. And they were a surprise to most of us, although they were recorded a month ago. Hank did the best that he could and that's all that's required.

"It is a great accomplishment which required skill, longevity and determination. Throughout the past century, the home run has held a special place in baseball and I have been privileged to hold this record for 33 of those years. I move over now and offer my best wishes to Barry and his family on this historic achievement. My hope today, as it was on that April evening in 1974, is that the achievement of this record will inspire others to chase their own dreams."

Aaron and Bud Selig conspired on what was the best way to minimally acknowledge Bonds, but I feel fine with discussing Barry Bonds as the home run king by opening up with a Hank Aaron mention. They are forever linked. But Bonds is separate now.

I hope you enjoyed the moment.

No matter what your feelings specifically are about Barry, you've got to love the game more than the innuendo. Everybody at AT&T Park was genuinely exhalted.

I loved it from start to finish.

The hit itself. Not blingy all the way into the Cove, but hit to one of the deepest areas of the park. The crowd, who clapped for 20 something minutes. The family (hat tip to Barry who, like Tom Glavine, acknowledged the start of school as a major source of pressure). The cajones and class of Mick Bacsik, who wasn't afraid to challenge Bonds with pitches and become a part of history. The TV announcers, who saved the other side of the story until several minutes after the milestone. Bud Selig, a jerk who doesn't know how to act in public, managed to find enough cell phone minutes to call and congratulate Barry. ESPN/MLB who saved the steroids PSA until the top of the eighth inning. Willie Mays, the devoted godfather.

And Barry, who seemed genuinely ecstatic and respectful of the accomplishment - who doted over Willie, smiled genuinely at the Hank Aaron tribute and almost broke down at the hint of his father Bobby's name crossing his lips.

"When I saw Hank Aaron that made everything. We've always loved him. He's always the home run king."

He's a jerk. He's a juicer. But he's a baseball hero. It's over now. Barry Lamar Bonds is the home run king. No more debate. It is what it is. Just enjoy it.

Ten Days (or So) Until Irvin!

2007-08-07T20:20:00.000-05:00

Much of the response to Michael Irvin's Hall of Fame speech has been positive. Some people think it's revived his professional broadcasting prospects. But that thought is ridiculous. Most are just excited to speculate about his prospects. (Content Factory with Dan Patrick?) Michael Irvin has always had a fan base as a television personality. Some TO fans, some Cowboys fans, some who just don't mind a little fun on Sunday morning. The Playmaker that spewed tear snot over the weekend is the same 'ol Playmaker.

Mike surfaced on Dan LeBatard's radio show Monday and Tuesday and promised (PROMISED!) that he would make a decision about his situation in 10 days or so. Since he's left ESPN, Irvin has been very cautious to speak well of the Leader, but also complained that they restricted his schedule and speech too much for his tastes. Irvin has indicated in multiple interviews over the past few months that he wants to participate in a "man talk" format, not just football format. After his speech, it's clear he has motivational/spiritual leanings.

Irvin said when talking with LeBatard that he would make a decision about what he was going to do very soon and that he would definitely be around this season. Good news. Get your popcorn/tissues ready.

Rick Fox Opening a "How To Get Along With Your Ex" Clinic

2007-08-06T12:19:00.001-05:00

Perhaps Michael Strahan is paying attention this time.

Unlike some people who allow acrimony with their ex-spouses to interfere with their financial opportunities, Rick Fox and Vanessa Williams are showing that they can work together for their mutual benefit. Fox will join the cast of ABC's Ugly Betty in its second season. Vanessa Williams is one of the stars of the series.

Rick will be playing a bodyguard for Vanessa's chararcter for at least two episodes. A source says, "Things get heated." Ooooh...

If my ex-husband was plastered all over the National Enquirer with a random blonde and seemingly dedicated to being an unkept, greasy haired individual, I would be salty. But Vanessa is a more mature woman than me apparently. And Rick Fox is better with exes than Michael Strahan.

Hat tip to Gangsta D. You can contact him directly to ask him why he reads People Magazine first thing every morning.

Irvin's Greatest Performance

2007-08-06T10:57:00.000-05:00

To be honest with you, I teared up during the videotaped intro for Michael Irvin's induction into the Hall of Fame. Then I teared up during Jerry Jones' intro. But I don't feel as bad about that. Jerry teared up too. Who says you can't show emotion with a face full of botox?

Michael Irvin wore the standard HOF uniform. Yellow jacket, blue tie with little thingies all over it. But he accessorized with tear snot. Lots of tears and lots of tear snot. Unsurprisingly, Michael Irvin gave a speech with a lot of emotion. Unsurprisingly, Irvin gave a long speech - over 26 minutes.

My favorite part was his tribute to his young sons.

"I say, please, help me raise them for some young lady so that they can be a better husband than I. Help me raise them for their kids so that they could be a better father than I. And I tell you guys to always do the right thing so you can be a better role model than dad."

If you haven't gotten an opportunity to see it, check out part 1 and part 2 at nfl.com. You might get something in your eye towards the end of part 2.

Update: Some highly illegal highlights have yet to be pulled from youtube.

Keeping Hope Alive

2007-08-06T10:00:00.000-05:00

To quote the great philosopher, Harrison of Atlanta:

"Everyone is innocent until proven guilty. I'm a fan of Vick on the football field. He's kind of an idiot off the field, but I'm a fan."

Apparently, plenty of Falcons fans still share this sentiment. Many fans wore Vick jerseys to the intown practice/fan festival that the Falcons host in the city. It's becoming clear that some of us are having trouble accepting reality. Vick isn't running through that tunnel come September.

Still, Joey Harrington had to suffer the indignity of signing autographs for people wearing "Let Vick Play" t-shirts. People were even wearing #3 jerseys for his back-up, DJ Shockley. Very few, if any, fans had plunked down the eighty or so dollars for a #13 Harrington jersey.

I suspect many people will stick with the throwbacks for this season rather than invest in a 13 jersey. If a 7 Falcons jersey officially becomes a throwback, so be it. Vick may be gone, but his ghost will likely haunt the GA Dome all season long.

Blank's Got Jokes

2007-08-02T15:48:00.001-05:00

The Atlanta Falcons have signed Tony Taylor to the roster.

Not Michael Vick's nemesis in the dog fighting case a/k/a "The Snitch."

But the linebacker from University of Georgia.

You ain't funny, little Home Depot man.

Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner

2007-08-02T10:19:00.000-05:00

Michael Strahan is pretending like he is retiring. Maybe he just wants more money. Maybe he wants to stick it to his ex wife, who he owes millions and millions and millions of dollars to for spousal and child support.

Matt Leinart also got some bad news. The mother of his child, Brynn Cameron, demanded $30,000/month in child support for their infant. Matt thought the $6,000/month plus automobile he was providing was enough. The law disagreed. Brynn Cameron has been awarded $15,000/month in child support.

See, Junior's got to get his money.

Have you ever wondered why some mothers get huge child support awards? Racking your brain over how many diapers $15,000 can buy? Salty that these women are seemingly getting over?

Rich parents pay all that child support because of the legal theory that the child should enjoy the lifestyle of the parents. The child should not be deprived because his/her parents aren't together and the poorer parent shouldn't be put in the position where the child prefers the richer parent because the rich parent can buy more stuff. The standard applies in some states, not all.

It may seem like a payment like $15K/month is more than any kid needs. But rich kids have greater needs. They "need" fancy clothes, ski trips, etc. Have you ever watched Laguna Beach? Do you realize how much a twelve year old girl can drop on jeans and t-shirts? The custodial parent has to provide them with a similar lifestyle that they would have with the rich parent. So, yes, the child support is intended to allow that parent to buy a nice house, car, etc.

Trying to specifically allot the money to the child is problematic. The mother has to live in the same house with her rich kid. The rich kid can't drive his own Benz. And if the rich kid has siblings? Well, they get a cut too. You don't want a rich kid to hate his own brothers and sisters just because they are poor, do you?

Well, why not just make the custodial parent show the rich parent the actual receipts each month? Because the court is not trying to be in your business all the time. The legal system would be put in the position of constantly monitoring and interfering in the family. There are so many child support awards to enforce. There are no resources to do monthly accounting checks. And that is the case whether the child support award is $100 or $100,000.

But still, there are a few ways to avoid the burden of child support:

1. Stay together
2. Get full custody of your kids; and/or
3. Don't pick a trifling ~~bitch~~ person to be the parent of your children.

Otherwise, if your bar tab and your child support payment could be the same amount, no complaining.

Well, Wilbon Was Wrong

2007-08-02T09:22:00.000-05:00

The picture is even more intimidating than the Vick indictment. Are you a fan of another Eastern Conference team? Well, you should be shook.

Michael Wilbon boldly predicted in early July that Kevin Garnett would not play in Boston, in part, because of Boston's divisive racial atmosphere. Wilbon was wrong. Obviously, Garnett has found motivation to overcome the situation.

And what's the explanation? Blood lust.

Humans have historically united for the purposes of warmongering and destruction. Wilbon was only wrong in that he failed to consider that thirsty, depraved blood lust would come into play. How was he to know that the evil triumvirate of Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen and Paul Pierce was possible? None of us knew. This could be the most destructive development for humankind (or NBA fans) since the defrosting of Megatron.

The Celtics are an instant playoff team. A playoff lock even. Gilbert is going to be unconscious next season in a contract year. So the Wizards are locks. Miami has Flash and old ass Shaq. That was good enough for a ring before, so they're locks too. The Bulls are solid and improving with experience. They'll be there. Detroit lacked intensity in the playoffs, but I respect the ring. So I'll count them as locks. That's five playoff locks. That leaves Cleveland (yeah, I said it), New Jersey, Orlando, New York and whoever else is in the Eastern Conference fighting for scraps.

The carnage will be fun to watch. Maybe we can all sing "We Shall Overcome" or something to appease Wilbon.