Come Back, Michael Irvin

I know you need to express yourself.

I know you're sitting at home staring at a closet full of clothes you've never worn. I know. I've been there.

This is Playmaker style inspiration if I've ever seen it. I couldn't help but think of you, Mike, when I saw this satin tie. Sniff... I think of you everytime I see an outrageous tie. And look. Shawl collar. Fancy double breast. And glitter in a suit. Glitter in a suit! You could rock that Playmaker. I know you could. I need you to.

Anyhoo, congratulations to Apolo Anton Ohno (not pictured) for winning Dancing With the Stars. I was kind of pulling for Joey Fatone (pictured), but Apolo had been consistently good the whole time. So, I am able to sleep at night. I wasn't pulling for Laila at all. She's pretty and she tried hard, but she's not a natural. I feel a little bit bad for feeling that way given that she was dancing while hurt. But so is life. Victory is for the speed skaters.

But Will He Walk It Out?

Clyde Drexler (6'7", BTW) will participate in ABC's Dancing With the Stars this season. This is a very athlete heavy season. Besides Clyde, Laila Ali and Apollo Anton Ohno will also appear. Laila has an edge, as she is partnered with the very popular Maxsim. But watch Eye-an Ziering, as he is paired with two-time defending champion Cheryl Burke. And, yawn, Heather Mills, her prosthetic leg and her gold digging heart will appear on this season as well.

And I thought the fashion round up would be on life support with the NFL offseason and Michael Irvin's whereabouts in limbo. No such luck. There will be lame and fringe to spare! Woo-hoo!!

Clyde, the bar has been set high by your NBA brethren. Don't let us down.