Thug Life Update

I have searched long and hard for Bill Maas' mugshot. Alas, it is nowhere to be found.

So I'll have to do with a picture of Brian Urlacher. Brian, not unlike Elijah Dukes, is accused of saying nasty things to his baby mama.

"Go to hell you fucking ---- [cunt?]."

"Grow the fuck up and quit praying and get a job."

"You're a fucking fruit cake."

"Your raising a little pussy."

Those are text messages Tyna Robertson says she got from her 2-year-old son's famous father, Bears Pro Bowl linebacker Brian Urlacher.

Robertson claims Urlacher had sent her more than 30 nasty text messages since January. In those messages, he allegedly called her a "hooker" and "jealous bitch," among other things, and once made this suggestion: "make one of your pimps drive you around," according to court papers filed Friday in their child custody case.

NASCAR Craftsman Truck Series driver Aaron Pike and his fiancee were arrested on suspicion of heroin and drug paraphernalia possession.

Tank Johnson is many things, but apparently not a drunk driver. Furthermore, he will not face any charges related to the incident.

The federal authorities returned to Michael Vick's Virginia property in search of evidence connected to dog fighting. However, the investigation is not focused on Michael Vick personally. ESPN begrudgingly admitted that it seems unlikely that Vick will be indicted. Still, Pro Football Talk has concocted a rumor that "a source having contacts with many NFL players tells Pro Football Talk that many NFL players are "incensed" by Falcons QB Michael Vick's offseason misadventures, and that reality is prompting speculation as to whether Vick will face late hits, cheap shots, and/or other indignities between the white lines."

Umm, okay.

An off duty police officer has to come to the defense of Pacman Jones with respect to the latest allegations at an Atlanta strip club. The officer, who was working security witnessed the strip club confrontation involving Adam Pacman Jones and says the NFL star was not the aggressor and only threatened to get a gun after hearing that an armed man was waiting for him in the parking lot. In a written statement, "Under these circumstances it seemed justified to me for Mr. Pacman Jones to want to defend himself. Instead he walked away."

That's a bit of good news for Adam. Still, Tennessee authorities are prepared to reopen charges against him depending on the outcome of the Las Vegas case.

I know there's so much going on in sports these days. It's not surprising that there's no room to lead SportsCenter with these latest incidents on the crime blotter. But when the "thugs" of sports don't fit a certain profile or only have good news to report on their situations, I'm here for you.

What Becomes of the Broken Hearted?

Some athletic greats are suffering major heartache this season and it's affecting their game.

T.O.'s fiancee gave him the stiff arm and he drowned himself in vicodin. He admitted his depression is/was affecting his game. According to Joe Buck, he's been dropping the ball a lot.

Tom Brady broke up with Bridget Moynahan. Suddenly, Brady's less than spectacular performance this season and his awful loss to the Dolphins suddenly have an explanation.

Michael Strahan goes off on the media after his wife embarrasses him all summer (MWF in the NY Post, TThSat in the Daily News). Then he gets injured and the Giants look poised to tank the season.

Allen Iverson was the subject of a groupie tell-all and is being bombarded by divorce rumors. His team just benched him.

Antonio Romo realizes he's never going to sniff Jessica Simpson or Carrie Underwood and lays an egg against the Saints on national television.

But on the other hand, Brian Urlacher battles with his baby mama toll booth style and he's having a pretty good season.

Is your favorite player underperforming? Find out what's going on with his love life.

Brian Urlacher is Still Figuring Out the Baby Daddy Thing

I've written about this shit before, but Chicago Bears player Brian Urlacher and his baby mama, Tyna Robertson, still have beef over their 18 month old son, Kennedy. Tyna is hauling Urlacher's ass back to court over security and visitation issues. Tyna is apparently a little perturbed over a man staring at her and her child while waiting for Brian to pick up his child at a tollway oasis toll booth.

Not only have you allegedly cancelled visitations with your son (your 3rd child), you pick up your son at a toll? Classy... Look, Brian, there are a lot of other baby daddies in the NFL. I suggest you confer with some of them on a smoother strategy to handle things.

What Did You Expect?

Brian Urlacher likes Black chicks! Sweet. Unfortunately, just like the brothers, he is experiencing some complications.

Unfortunately, the baby mama in question, Tyna Robertson, is not that cute. For all the headache, he could have done better. But to be fair, maybe she's under stress and this is not her best moment...