The Fall of Chad Johnson

It was inevitable.

The good tidings weren't going to last. Now, like many Black men before him, Chad's just a statistic now.

Many in the mainstream press regarded Chad Johnson as a consumate entertainer. Soon, he'll be derided as a flashy egomaniac. Now he's just like those other malcontents. Another Terrell Owens. Another "disgruntled" spotlight grabbing, quarterback betraying, diva wide receiver only looking out for himself.

To the mainstream press, at least.

Carson Palmer has given up on Chad. TJ Houshmanzadeh has accepted the inevitable. Marvin Lewis is ready to move on.

The Sporting News' Vinnie Iyer sums up the "new" Chad.

Stop me if you've heard this before: uber-talented wide receiver, unhappy with his organization, coach and quarterback, wants out...

Johnson doesn't understand the team concept, where one player isn't above everyone else. The Bengals need to prove they believe that themselves by looking at the subtraction of the selfish Johnson as an addition in itself -- even if that means letting him languish on the bench while they wait for a good offer to come along.

Yeah, we've been there done that. Another ungrateful Black guy in the NFL. Not content to go where he's led with "dignity," say, like, Drew Bledsoe.

The Bengals are so determined to keep Chad in his place they've already refused inquiries (or offers, depending on where you get your news) from the Redskins, Cowboys and the Eagles.

Still, Johnson bucks. Chad insists he's only being himself. His ability to be a smiling, content caricature has diminished. Time will only tell if he we will accepted by the public as a man and not a solely as a source of amusement and sideline antics.

Maybe they want me to quiet down [and] stop being me. That is not going to happen. I can't function that way. I tried it. It sucked.

Thus far, no one seems amused by the outspoken, self-assured Chad Johnson. When Chad was the court jester, the audience delighted. But now that he wants to repackage himself as a self-interested grown man, no one is clapping. The comedy is fine, but nobody wants the drama.

Chad Johnson is a Black man gone serious. Suddenly, he's not as popular as he once was.

Yeah, it was inevitable.

A Fine Line

Is there actually a difference between Terrell Owens and Chad Johnson? Except for the fact that one is much more likely Hall of Fame bound than a celebration prop indicates.

I was struck by Tony Kornheiser's contrast of Terrell Owens and Chad Johnson. He declared on Monday Night Football that Owens was a narcissist, but Johnson was all about fun. There was no substantive proof offered. Just as there is no ready explanation for why Johnson is embraced by the league, practically starring in all the commercials on NFL Network, while Owens does his promotions for free. Owens is certainly no less appealing. He seems to lead or tease various sports broadcasts during the season. ESPN recently saw fit to milk one interview he did with Jim Gray for over a week. And as creative as Chad Johnson is, Owens is a showmanship pioneer.

But to infer that Chad Johnson is not a narcissist? That is preposterous. Chad Johnson doesn't want to be seen? He has become increasingly desperate in his plies for attention. He is overwhelmed by the pressure and restrictions of coming up with a creative celebration in the endzone. Consequently, he has taken his antics to the sidelines - which is just desperate. He is changing first down markers and altering jerseys. As much as I love a good endzone celebration, I find it disturbing that Chad Johnson is frequently making the whole Bengals sideline his accomplice in horseplay. He has had his quarterback playing his straightman in his "Ocho Cinco" skit. And, on Monday, it seemed the whole Bengals staff were tripping over themselves to fetch Chad's black plastic bag and pat him on the back and mug for the cameras over his Hall of Fame craft project.

Of course, Terrell Owens is less "fun" than Chad Johnson because he talks back. Flash your golds and do your dance, but nobody wants to hear a surly malcontent talking back. Chad Johnson hardly says anything of consequence except for delivering football versions of "yo momma" jokes. He is excellent, but untested as far as professional adversity. He is not yet battling injuries and able to have free reign on a team that has misdemeanors and felonies to worry about moreso than excessive celebration fines. Johnson has been able to coast on his natural talent and on a winning team, even if it is a team mired in the mediocrity of success. Owens is not a narcissist, but perhaps a reflection of the adversity (even self-created) that a mature player has had to overcome. Owens fought uphill to join the NFL with a University of Tennessee-Chatanooga pedigree. He was forced to develop his skills in the shadow of Jerry Rice. He's been on losing teams. He's endured quarterbacks of varying skill levels. Owens has battled injury. T.O. works hard to keep himself in superior shape (Johnson prefers fast food). Owens knows labor strife and has had to speak up to get what he deserved. On some level, Terrell had to be noticed in order to survive. What's Chad's excuse?

I don't deny that Owens and Johnson both enjoy attention. For sure, they are both narcissists. And they have both put the "fun" in the NFL. But opening weekend may have put forth the tale of the tape on who's more of the self-promoter. One guy dedicated his offseason to rehabbing an injured hand coming off a year full of drops. He debuted with a startlingly efficient 2 touchdowns on 3 receptions, one of those receptions being a spectacular one handed catch on an overthrown pass. The other guy "prepared" by commissioning a craft project. Which guy was more attuned to the substantive task at hand and which guy was attuned to self-promotion? Think about it before you distinguish one as a greater narcissist than the other.

Fashion Round Up - More Exciting Than the NBA Finals

I want to give a big shout out to Kenny Smith. Kenny has stepped up his fashion game tremendously this season and I have been remiss in not giving him more attention. Kenny used to be a "don't" when it came to dressing above the waist. He wore huge shoulder pads in his suit and dressed way too big for his frame. In real life, standing up, this look probably was okay because Kenny is tall. But... When you're at the desk, you have to dress for the desk. Kenny was always swimming in his suit. But this season, Kenny tightened up. He lost the shoulder pads, adopting a slimmer cut for his suits that is more appropriate for his above the waist frame. And.. he adopted a fashion gimmick. And fashion gimmicks are what separates the amateurs from the pros. Kenny's fashion gimmick is edgestitching. Frequently, the lapels on Kenny's suits feature stitching on the edge in a contrasting color. It's a very nice and unique detail and it allows Kenny to stand out while still remaining somewhat conservative in his dress. Wipe the man down. Head, chest, pants, shoes. Kenny's definitely on.






But speaking of Kenny, it seems he has a fashion foil. And his name is Jon Barry.

(It is faint in the pic, but this is the offending suit where Jon sports Kenny's edgestitching. And, yeah, so is Kenny's edgestiching above. It's not my fault that broadcasting and desktop technology don't converge so I can procure a proper HD screen cap.) Jon has just out and out stolen Kenny's fashion gimmick. Right after TNT concludes its season, Jon shows up on ABC sporting Kenny's edgestitching gimmick. You can not steal another man's fashion gimmick!!! That's like a woman knowingly showing up wearing another woman's dress. Now that Michael Irvin is gone, will Jon sport the jumbo tie knot? Deion's collar trim? Boooooo, orange-skinned bald man! (Stop getting mystic tan tips from Eva.)

Drew Gooden has been sporting an odd patch of hair on the back of his shaven head. He claims it is a "duck patch." I've also heard it called a "hyphy patch", something that's popular in the Bay Area. Guess what, Bay Area folk? Leave country styles to country folk. I vehemently deny that Drew's patch is an authentic duck patch. An authentic duck patch protrudes like a duck bill. Hence the name. I don't know if Drew's hair is too straight to protrude or if he is just confused. He does not have a duck patch. I don't know what that stray hair is. Below is Drew's hair and an authentic "duck", sported by one Ralph Tresvant (yeah, it's fuzzy, but it's from 1983, dammit. Watch "Cool It Now" for reference.)





On to the rest...

LeBron continues his fascination with the eighties. Was he saving this polo sweater from back in the day, waiting for this to come back in style?



Damon Jones actually looks quite nice here.



This is a very luxe camp shirt with some very progressive lines. The sleeves are short, but long. The length of the shirt is also extra long and designed to be worn untucked. And it's also wrinkle free. It reminds me of the female long tunic trend, but I don't mean it in a bad way. Since Damon isn't playing much, I'm glad he's putting his free time to positive use.

Rasheed Wallace represents for the leisure suit, the seemingly exclusive domain of the basketball player. And the Geico cavemen, judging by that unkept facial hair.



Chris Paul goes traditional, yet modern in a daring plaid as he sits courtside.



Carlos Boozer does spring nicely.



Charles Barkley wore a Mavs jersey in shame. Shame!



Mehmet Okur uses his tongue as an accessory. Why not cufflinks?


And just for kicks, let's just pick on Craig Sager. Even if he is wearing Brioni or Versace or something other sick brand.



Lavender!



Denver Broncos colors!

Bonus coverage: Is there anything that's more firmly entrenched in the "always uncomfortable" category than a Black man compared in any way with an animal? Ick. Still, Chad Johnson sported a bold and flashy ensemble for his "race" with a horse. Should I be happy that Chad won?



Extra bonus coverage: Well, actually, Serena's not wearing much, so I think this is where my commentary ends.



See you soon for the sports fashion holy grail, the NBA Draft.

I Demand a Recount

The Pro Bowl isn't even a good popularity contest anymore.

Some players got jobbed. Some players apparently employed Master P's Dancing with the Stars voting "consultants" to get their spot.

There's too much injustice in the world for one woman to cure, but I'll just address some of my favorites. There are going to be alot of exclamation points in this post, so I apologize in advance.


THE OVERLOOKED...

Terrell Owens

DeAngelo Hall must have hacked into the computer and stolen his votes. He is the league leader in touchdowns!!! (And I don't care what Joe Buck says about his drops.) He is playing with a broken hand and torn tendons!!! He is reason #1 that Dallas is potentially on a Superbowl run, after being mediocre for the balance of the Bill Parcells era. And he would've done a good dance in a Honolulu endzone... I wonder who jobbed him. The players? The coaches? The fans? According to the SI poll, the player haters think T.O. is the most overrated player in the league. That's just fucking ridiculous. Steve Smith has not had a good year. And Anquan Boldin over T.O.? You can't be serious.

Marques Colston

Until he was injured, the Saints rookie was leading the league in touchdowns. And I say, if you can outperform T.O. on a major stat , you should go to Hawaii.

Tom Brady

I'm not even a Tom Brady slurper, but he lost all his receivers and his girlfriend this season. Cut the dude some slack. I mean, if the Pro Bowl is a popularity contest, how can Tom Brady not be there?

Michael Vick

I thought the world finally knew that the receivers are the problem in Atlanta, not Vick. Vick is Superman. The team is underacheiving, but it's not Vick's fault. And, again, if it's a popularity contest, how can one of the league's most exciting players not go to Hawaii. Marc Bulger? His team has a 6-8 record and he and Vick have the same amount of touchdowns. Antonio Romo has only played 8 games and might have the best receiving core in the league. Yeah, he's doing all the work.

Reggie Bush

Not that he really deserves it based on play, but I thought he was so goddamn popular?

Michael Koenen

No disrespect to Dallas' punter, but Atlanta Falcons' punter Michael Koenen is a hell of a kicker. He was doing double duty earlier this season on punts and field goals, but ever since he's been focusing on punts exclusively, he's been a beast. But nobody pays attention to kickers.



THOSE THAT SHOULD COUNT THEIR LUCKY STARS...

Shawne Merriman

Suspended for 4 games for juicing and he gets a free trip to the Pro Bowl and the corresponding financial bonus? Doesn't a conviction for juicing mean that you had an unfair disadvantage over other players? Simply nonsensical.

DeAngelo Hall

I know T.O. didn't vote for him, but I can't imagine who else did (Okay, I did, but I voted early and I was being a homer). This dude got spit on and his own hometown fans don't come to his defense! He got burned by Hines Ward wearing one shoe! That is not Pro Bowl caliber play.

Alge Crumpler

Yeah, I voted for him too, but Crumpler is a contributing member of the esteemed Falcons receiving core Drop, Drop & Drop LLP.

Chad Johnson

Anyone who had to shave their mohawk because they got shut down (courtesy of the Falcons) should not be allowed to go to the Pro Bowl. That should be a rule. Isn't Who'sYourMama more productive than Chad? But Johnson is popular, so I'm more prone to let this selection slide.

Tiki Barber

Is the Pro Bowl nod supposed to be some kind of tribute or something? He's not even the best back on his team.

I know I shouldn't be worked up at all over what is essentially a beauty pageant, but come February, I am usually in a distressed state and desperate enough for football to watch the Pro Bowl. However the crap fest they have planned this year makes me want to start brushing up on my arena football knowledge.

Fashion Round Up

Welcome Matsuzaka-san to the USA! (Or is it Daisuke-san?... I can't remember). In a matter of hours, you modeled several fantastic, fashion forward looks ranging from an ultra trendy bubble coat to the traditional suit and tie look.





I think Dice-K's O blood type means fashionista, not just warrior.




Daryl Johnston might be new Merril Hoge. Brown textured jacket (can't tell if it was corduroy or velvet) with a orange and a green tie paired with a printed silk pocket square. This outfit is bordering on garish, especially in high definition, but Johnston has a lot of confidence in his fashion game, so I'm feeling him.





Michael Irvin has to be mentioned every round up, so let me just pay him his customary compliment and move on. Michael Irvin looks great in this tan suit. Notice the double breast style, a little narrower than the traditional proportion. And I love the red-orange tie.




Elbow patches, Deion? Elbow Patches? And with the collar trim and the contrasting vest? Burn this suit




Old school tough. Old school fashion. Hitmans Isiah Thomas wears pink and if you don't like it, he will send somebody after you to fuck you up. We love you, godfather.



Not only is Jim Mora taking time away from game preparation by doing offending Falcons fans on Seattle radio stations, he clearly spends a lot of time coordinating his outfits. Pretty boy bastard....



This is a joke, right? Michael Wilbon, that tie is a joke, right? Just go back to your normal goofy looking no tie look.



Can't slurp Irvin's flamboyant suit game every week and slight the classics. A beautiful, expensive camel coat works great on Derrin Horton.




Did you know Big Boi of Outkast is designing uniforms?




Even first time designers can do better than the hideous Wizards alternate uniform. No slight to Gilbert "Hibachi" Arenas. He's just a victim.




These are Reggie Miller's socks. It's too bad one of the great fundamental players felt necessary to break so many fashion rules. Brown suits and gray striped socks don't go together. That's just lazy, Reggie.





Julio Lugo may have gotten a nice contract with the Red Sox, but 55 Problems thinks he's just David Ortiz' accessory, lol.





Speaking of accessories, look at Chad Johnson's shoes. He clearly wants you to. The pictures are of his touchdowns from this season.




Jamie Duke has the nerve to brazenly bite my fashion round up by doing some stupid segment called "Duke's Duds." And he wears this awful bright yellow jacket at 3oo+ pounds? Please...



Joey Porter called Kellen Winslow a fag. But Joey is wearing a bright yellow bomber and has lines on his haircut that surely must be the product of some serious OCD and most certainly require a significant amount of time in the barber chair every week (not to mention, some hair dye might be involved). Who's more faggity? You decide. ..



Willie Parker is trendy in the printed hoodie. You famously see this on Beyonce.



Not casting aspersions on Willie. It's a trend for women AND men.



The season's almost over and Eli Manning's tie is still crooked. Cornball...

Fashion Round Up - Noticing Those Who Dress to be Seen

The good...




Tony Kornheiser wears the hideous red PTI jacket faithfully, but this week he tries to balance the hideousness with some stunna shades. Love it! I see you, Tony.



It's my favorite time of year... The time when the female reporters break out the cold weather ensembles. It's not as easy as it looks. When you start mixing fur, leather, earmuffs, parkas and scarves, things can get ugly. However, this week, some chick named Wendi Nix covering the Carolina-Tampa Bay game gets things started off on the right note. The bright red tailored coat is a good choice for camera presence, but the Burberry cap is just the right touch of luxury and trendiness. Absolute perfection. I never heard of you before, Wendi Nix, but I'll be looking for you from now on.YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO KEEP READING. DON'T HOLD BACK. CLICK HERE.



Vince Young's reality TV show is more boring than watching paint dry and he suffered a heartbreaking loss to Baltimore on Sunday, but he looks very smart at the post game news conference with the black Kangol-style cap paired with a cream jacket and shirt. I always take notice when the men succeed at the casual look.



Another look I love on the guys is velvet. Velvet is very difficult to wear, but it looks stunning on a man with the right frame. Terrell Owens is rocking a velvet blazer with some nice jeans to promote his children's book. Nice. It's polished without trying too hard. And he gets bonus points for catching Regis.



Michael Irvin looked good on Monday Night Football. He continues to wear the wide tie knot, his theme for the season. Blue on black doesn't often work, but Michael Irvin is more capable than most. The conservative fabrics balances the potentially gimmicky wide lapels. Irvin is a constant highlight.



Revenge is best served....in a sharp gray suit. Steve McNair capped his triumphant return to Tennessee with a fashion win. This is a very nice shadow striped gray suit. He sports several gimmicks - the curved collar, squared off lapels that I've never seen before, waves over stripes and, of course, a classically folded pocket square. But it all works well together. He looks conservative and fashion forward at the same time. High level of difficulty, successful execution. McNair narrowly missed being the fashion winner of the week.

The bad..



One more thing wrong with the Monday Night Football broadcast - the sportcoat look. Ugh. This should be banned. And Tirico is doing some weird blue-green combination. Terrible.



Chad Johnson is doing a little too much here. There are no words for the ugly green jacket. And he's paired them with some gaudy yellow diamond earrings. Wow. I know you want to be seen, Chad, but you don't want to be noticed for the wrong reasons.


The winner...




Ernie Johnson of Inside the NBA is this week's fashion winner. He looks dapper in his suit. He is confidently sporting his new bald head (due to cancer treatment). And he continues to excel at the hardest job in sports, controlling Charles Barkley. Kudos.

Fashion Round Up - Noticing Those Who Dress to be Seen

The good...

As a Falcon lover, of course, I love, love, love Chad Johnson's new hairstyle, even if for my own selfish reasons. But I think everyone agrees he's more suited to the blonde mohawk-less look. D'Angelo Hall definitely did him a favor.

Howie is pretty conservative this week, but I really like this look. The light gray on baby blue coloring suits Howe. The fabric has a little bit of sheen, therefore giving the look just enough modernity. There is nothing wrong with just being classic. I'm mixed about Jimmy's look though. It looks okay from a distance but on closer inspection it doesn't even appear to match. He has a blue and white check shirt on underneath a brown shadow stripe suit and the orange/brown diagonal stripe tie. There's too much going on with Jimmy, but the consistency of the Fox set continually makes the guys a fashion highlight. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO KEEP READING. DON'T HOLD BACK. CLICK HERE.

Rich Eisen is a winner in the classic pinstriped suit. This fit on the suit is tremendous and Rich looks nothing less than dapper. Deion is still doing his long jacket and vest thing, but I wasn't feeling it as much this week. He went for variation by doing the vest and the shirt in different shades of blue. I respect the attempt, but I don't think the execution panned out.

Tom Brady lost to Peyton Manning Sunday night, but he almost makes up for it by sporting this fine ensemble. Pretty boy athletes like Brady don't usually go casual for the press conference, but Brady takes a risk and it pays off. But it could just be the dimples...

The suit that Michael Irvin wore on MNF was outstanding for many reasons. The best thing about this suit is the high neck and unique double breast style. He would be the clear winner of the week. However, the suit is out of season. Mike can't make mistakes like that. The color is too light for this time of year and the fabric almost appears to be linen, although I don't think that is. Still, it is a summer suit. Dress for the season not the weather.

The bad...

Bill Bellichek has taken it too far. Just go back to the gray homeless sweats, man. You're not ready for color. The oversized bright red sweatshirt with the royal blue track pants is bad enough, but the headband? First of all, only girls wear headbands as cold weather gear. But even if Bill is comfortable enough in his masculinity to go in that direction, he clearly struggled with the logistics of installing a headband. Why is his hair sitting on top of the headband like that? Worst Bill Bellichek outfit ever. And that's saying alot.

Did they blow all of their money on those god awful red PTI jackets? This is terrible. I understand inclement weather is a consideration, but they all look like they just rolled out of bed (except Jaws, who was wearing a suit). Tony is actually wearing a jacket on top of another jacket and a garish gold baseball cap. Wilbon, as a man who carries a purse, should not have let this occur. And the mismatch umbrellas? Ugh.

And the winner...

Shaq is having the best fashion week ever. He collected some choice championship bling to add to his collection and when he doesn't feel like breaking a sweat, he doesn't. He just chills courtside in a very nice vested ensemble. Love it.

No Fun League

Boooooooooooooooo!

It started with Chad Johnson's $5,000 fine for the Ocho Cinco related alteration of his jersey. (BTW, that stunt took a disturbing amount of effort. I mean, there was the matching of fabrics and fonts involved, velcro, Carson Palmer's appearance fee...) While I savored Chad Johnson's downfall for my own selfish purposes, I still thought it sucked that he was fined for the jersey alteration even though it was done before the game. And he did that cute little dance...

But this Sunday, they penalized the Dallas Cowboys, as a team, for Terrell Owen's touchdown celebration. C'mon! That was the best celebration of the season. It was clever. It was hilarious! It was Terrell showing some self awareness and a sense of humor, a sophisticated attack on the media and an entertaining endzone spectacle all in one. But the Cowboys were penalized for excessive celebration and taunting, resulting in a 15 yard celebration because Owens supposedly used the football as a prop. That was a garbage call. I wasn't even that clear on the new "prop" rule. I didn't know it included footballs. However, if they are going to be nitpicky about it, what about all the guys that spin the football when they score? Or spike the ball? Or otherwise celebrate with the ball in hand? And, by the way, can I vent about all those irritating and suddenly popular midfield celebrations on downs? You could stage a ballet with Rockettes and fireworks for all I care, but at least save it for the endzone.

Even if Terrell did violate the rules, they could have warned him or even fined him, as they did Chad Johnson. It was unfair to penalize the team for that.

To his credit, Terrell took responsibility for that and other gaffes during the game. He said, "I owe this one to the team. I let the team down." Don't let the Man hold you down, T. Sunday wouldn't be the same without the T.O. show.

Get Your Weight Up, Man!

It's truly a new day in Atlanta. The Falcons are feeling so good about themselves that they talking smack! Several Falcons appeared on the 790 the Zone "Monsters of the Midday" show today to have a little more fun with Chad Johnson - because embarrassing him on his home turf on Sunday apparently wasn't enough.

Patrick Kerney got the fun started by revealing that Johnson was spending way too much time around the Falcons huddle jawing and that Carson Palmer yelled at Johnson several times for running the wrong routes.

Then Chad's good buddy D'Angelo Hall proclaimed that Chad was obsessed with beating him on coverage, to the point that he was engaged in excessive "gyrations" that resulted in him being a step or two late on his routes. Hall stopped just a wee bit short of saying that Chad was a "me" person and not really concerned about the fate of the team. Hall did concede that he thought Chad was mainly concerned with himself during that particular game. He concluded with saying that, "If you're going to act like T.O., you need to get your weight up like T.O." Damn.

I have to disclose that you should take the above bravado with a grain of salt. Both players admitted to being big fans of the movie, "The Notebook." "The Notebook" is the most beautiful and tearjerking of love stories and no self-respecting man should even admit to knowledge of such a film. Alas, Kerney even admitted to watching it the first time alone - no chick involved.