Moving On

Okay, I need a snappy comeback, somebody. I give up.

I have been a proponent of Michael Vick's return to the Atlanta Falcons.

But, today, there are some things I know to be true.

Like that Roger Clemens is a cheater and a whore.

And that Michael Vick is probably not going to be a Falcon again.

When the Falcons selected Boston College QB Matt Ryan with the #3 pick, it became clear the Falcons organization is moving on. And moving away from Michael.

I don't think picking Matt Ryan was a good move. I don't think many professional or armchair analysts expect Matt Ryan is a franchise savior. He is not highly projected to be an excellent quarterback. He was merely the best available. Maybe the Falcons don't need Michael Vick, but they need way more than a quarterback. The organization could have solidified the team with other position players. We need everything. The Falcons should have used the draft to build a team, not just replace the old quarterback. But the Falcons punked out, as usual.

Picking Matt Ryan was an image decision, not a football decision. And the inability to make football decisions is the reason why the Falcons can't put up a winning record more than one season in row. Remember, Brett Favre used to be a Falcon.

See, Arthur Blank got found out. Once it was reported that he and the Falcons organization were maintaining communication with Michael Vick while he was in prison, people started to put two and two together. Maybe the Falcons were going to wait it out. Maybe they weren't prepared to sacrifice Vick just to try to please certain people. After all, they have no more recourse in recouping the signing bonus they gave him. Why release him without compensation or trade him for a low round pick? The best way to get a return for the inconvenience is to make Michael pay up on the field of the Georgia Dome. He sells seats and merchandise and he even wins sometimes. It could be a relatively straightforward decision.

But the ever image conscious Arthur Blank got found out. Keeping his options open with the outcast Vick might have been the smart thing to do. But Blank doesn't have the balls to make tough football decisions. A football team can not be built on image alone. Blank is determined to prove otherwise.

Maybe Ryan will be a successful addition to the Falcons. I suspect he will be Joey Harrington redux. Nevertheless, despite the new quarterback, the Falcons still have the same problems with the fanbase they had the day before the draft. The season ticket waiting list is a distant memory. In fact, season ticket packages are now available for a mere $250. The Falcons are discounting 30,000 seats in order to encourage fans to attend the games. And I doubt Ryan jerseys are flying off the shelves.

The shallow attempt to "move on" with Matt Ryan only reinforces that the Michael Vick informs a lot of the decision making in the Falcons front office.

Ironically, Michael Vick is still running this team.

Not a Movie

I am excited to hear that Michael Vick is "practicing" his quarterback skills by playing prison football. Only a Falcons fan could be so pathetic as to consider the Leavenworth Penitentiary's production of "The Longest Yard" as positive omen for the team's future. But, certainly, Vick's homage to Burt Reynolds suggests he has a future with the Falcons. And, consequently, the Falcons have a future.

Anyone who thinks the Falcons can just move on post-Vick is naive. The Falcons faithful is a blingy crowd. We want excitement on the field. And Joey Harrington (or even alleged prospective draft pick Boston College quarterback Matt Ryan) just isn't going to cut it. 8-8 or not, Vick is a superstar and season ticket and jersey sales and fan interest reflected same. The fans already voted with their feet during the 2007 season. But 2008 might be more tolerable knowing that 2009 might beget #7.

And time heals all wounds. The dogs have been adopted out to loving homes and a once bitter team owner Arthur Blank has even become pen pals with Michael Vick! Blank has even lightened up about the situation so much that he's even using off color prison sex jokes when talking about Michael.

"Apparently, there was a prison football team and he played quarterback for both sides.”

Yeah, we all know Mike won't be the same after prison, Blank.

Still, Michael is practicing his accuracy and is hopefully enjoying better receivers and protection than he had in Atlanta. (I mean that in the football sense.)

Seriously, according to Blank, Michael is working hard toward self-improvement. And Blank is willing to help him.

"I just try to be supportive and as understanding as I can be. He talks about the process he is going through and what he has learned, the lessons of life, how he's going to come out a different person. He's sorry he has affected so many people in a negative way — the league, our club, our fans. He feels awful about that. The letters sound quite sincere to me. From a mental standpoint, he sounds good.

I told Michael I'll do whatever I can to be helpful to him personally. Nothing to do with the Atlanta Falcons. He's a human being and I would like to reach out and if I can be productive to him in some way, I would be happy to do that."

Michael Vick is still a member of the Falcons roster and there seems to be a slight glimmer of hope that he may be on the field in red and black as soon as he is allowed. Kevin Winston, the Falcons' senior director of player development, has visited Vick several times in prison. Frankly, the Falcons have no choice but to maintain ties and figure out how to recoup $16 million in pre-paid bonuses that Vick doesn't have to return. Even Blank concedes, "I'd love to see him playing again in the NFL. I would love to see him back in society where he can make a difference and go back to some of these communities and talk to some of these young folks about the impact of choices — choices he personally made about people he was with and choices he made about his own actions. That would be important.” Sure, those might be empty words designed to bolster Vick's trade value. But they might be an indication of the realization that Vick's greatest value to Blank is on the field - playing as a Falcon.

Without a doubt, Vick is getting picked first every time when the guys line up on the prison yard. "Uhhh, yeah, lemme get that dude." It's a no brainer. And if Vick is available to the Falcons in a year or so, I hope Blank calls 7's number. I look forward to that day. I just want to win and have some fun as a Falcons fan. So, yeah, lemme get that dude.

Fingers crossed.

Source

Free Mike Vick!

Kidding.

I've never liked Roddy White. And the unveiling of his homemade "Free Mike Vick" shirt on Monday Night Football was proof positive that he needs to focus on catching footballs and not ghettotastic craft projects.

Indeed, Mike Vick has to do his time. He'll be freed in 23 or so months. And that's soon enough. I'm not totally comfortable that so many resources have gone toward a crime without an obvious human victim or that $1 million in restitution was set aside for the care of dogs, but Vick was sentenced fairly. He didn't get sentenced to lethal injection. He'll have plenty of time to get on with his life after the fact.

From the time of the initial rumblings of criminal activity to the indictment to the plea to the sentencing, you'd think plenty of time would have passed for me to finally be angry at Michael Vick. I'll admit he's almost ruined my NFL season. I love the NFL generally, but love starts at home. And with my hometown team in turmoil, it's hard. And this year all the pundits can unanimously agree the Falcons underachieved because of Michael Vick.

But how can I be wholeheartedly angry at somebody so dumb? And since the time of the initial rumblings, indictment, etcetera, it's become increasingly apparent that Michael Vick is as simpleminded as they come. Back in the spring, I wondered why the Virginia property wasn't cleared of evidence once it was known Vick's cousin caught a case. I wondered why Vick wasn't more upfront in the initial police and NFL investigations. I wondered why Vick allowed the other defendants to flip on him. I was stupefied when I found out he decided he couldn't forego weed after he plead out to the charges. I was puzzled when I noticed Vick didn't even bother to remove the kennels and other canine accoutrement from the Virginia property before he sold it, allowing the new owner to hold an open house of canine macabre for the general public. And I was flat out floored when I learned that Michael lied to federal agents and failed a polygraph test concerning his involvement in the whole mess.

Nice try on the early surrender, the prompt restitution and the contrite statements, but Vick's stupidity ultimately sealed his fate in the eyes of the judge.

And because I suspect Vick is more stupid than evil, I still have empathy for him. Michael Vick is gone for now. I have no doubt he will play football again. He'll be young enough and the NFL will always need athletes. If Favre, Testaverde and Warner can play quarterback, so can Michael Vick. Arthur Blank said the Falcons were moving on, but he didn't actually say Vick would never play for the team again. I would wager New England Patriot odds that the Falcons will still be in turmoil in 2009, so there's no need for the Falcons to completely close that door especially if they actually want to recoup their financial losses from Vick's absence.

Furthermore, I still hold out hope that Michael Vick is more ignorant than stupid... That he has learned and that he will learn from his mistakes. Until then, I am left only to mourn my hometown team, ponder the relative dignity of a courtroom artist's sketch versus a mugshot and pray that Michael doesn't become a full blown Quincy Carter/Maurice Clarett statistic. And I await to see what Mike knows in 2009.

State of the Falcons - Week 11

And to think, I almost missed the masterpiece between the Falcons and the Bucs. But out benevolent owner, Arthur Blank, saved us from the tragedy of yet another TV blackout by forcing asking the Falcons' business partners to purchase the unsold tickets. Thank you, suh. The Falcons fans are so grateful. Instead of enjoying a competitive substitution game, we had to sit through a near blowout of 31-7.

Falcons fans have gone crazy. They booed starter Byron Leftwich and cheered when Joey Harrington was inserted into the game. Who chants for Joey Harrington? Who cheers when 13 runs onto the field? Only the desperate.

Now the Falcons have yet another quarterback controversy, after Coach Petrino promised a healthy Byron Leftwich would be the Falcons starter. Yet after Leftwich's "performance" of 15 of 28 passes for 106 yards and 2 interceptions, Joey is back in the running for starter. Harrington, meanwhile, completed 16-of-20 passes for 139 yards and a touchdown (in garbage time). He said he would no longer contemplate why the starting job was taken from him and would accept whatever Petrino had in store.

Eh, wno cares? The Colts are going to beat the brakes off of the Falcons next week no matter who the quarterback is.

Unless Michael Vick was still around.

Michael Vick was the best quarterback in the world. No, I'm not just saying that out of romantic revisionist wistfulness. It's true. Looking back, I can't remember a single misthrown pass, a single interception, a single bad scramble, a single injury or any bad decisions at all on Michael Vick's part. And there will be no more fanciful tall tales of his adventures in my Falcons recap because he's in jail.
It's really real now. Vick did some bad things, but he did good things too. And I'll be glad to greet him on the other side. Hopefully, on a Sunday afternoon. But any day soon will do.

Goodell the Warden?

When Roger Goodell's days as NFL commissioner are over, he may want to consider a career in corrections. He seems to have a knack for herding young men into the correctional system.

While Adam Jones and Michael Vick initially transgressed of their own volition, it is obvious that the scourges of the NFL fear the ultimate judgment of Roger Goodell. So much so that they volunteer to become statistics of the judicial system, even when it may have not been necessary. The men just want to get back on the field. And if that means they have to do a little probation or even a little jail time, so be it.

Pacman Jones' attorney, Manny Arora, freely admitted that staying in the NFL's good graces was priority number one.

While I think we would've been successful at trial, it could've been six months to a year away, and he may have lost another year of eligibility by going forward. In the real world, sometimes you have to make these difficult decisions for what's best for your career, and we didn't want this dragging on any further."

Indeed, the odds were good that Jones would have been successful at trial. The Las Vegas prosecutor weakly charged him with felony coercion. Coercion doesn't have the teeth of assault or some of the more serious accusations the family of Tommy Urbanski might accuse Jones of. So the prosecutor did the best he could. Frankly, a charge of coercion was just indicative that there wasn't much substantial evidence that Pacman's presence at the Las Vegas strip club directly contributed to the serious consequences that befell the victims.

Still, not only was Jones willing to accept a plea in order to appease the NFL, he accepted too much punishment on the lesser charge. Jones ended up pleading guilty to conspiracy to commit disorderly conduct - a gross misdemeanor. Yet he accepted a full year of suspended sentence, probation, anger management classes, AND 200 hours of community service. That's pretty excessive compromise for a plea on a misdemeanor charge. But no punishment is greater than being kept of the field. No judge, prosecutor or probation officer needs to be pleased more than Roger Goodell. Apparently, Jones and his legal team thought the plea was worthwhile in that it would put the incident behind Pacman and appease Goodell. And Goodell had to know Jones was working on a plea deal when he refused to reinstate him just days before. The plea wasn't sufficient contrition on that day, but hopefully Jones' plea won't go completely unnoticed when he faces Goodell's judgment again.

And Michael Vick has taken the kowtowing even further. He didn't even gamble on the slim hope that the judge would sentence him to probation instead of jail on December 10. Vick just voluntarily went to jail. So figure a year of official sentence. Take away a couple of months for good behavior and a month in a halfway house... OMG! Vick could be available in the summer of 2008. And that's exactly the circumstance he wants Roger Goodell to have to deal with so that Vick can return to his career as soon as possible. Goodell is also obviously Vick's number one priority.

It's chilling to realize Michael Vick has become a man so desperate he would relinquish his freedom to please Roger Goodell.

The evidence isn't conclusive yet, but sociologists may need to take a look at Goodell as yet another socioeconomic factor increasing chances for young men ending up in the correctional system. It's not Goodell's fault that grown men cross the law, but I hope Goodell has considered that he could opt to let the judicial system be the sole arbiter of punishment. Not to mention the court of public opinion. Men who transgress society will suffer. And I hope Roger Goodell does not sleep easy at night, knowing that he gave a gentle shove to certain men into the correctional system.

I don't see any reason why any man shouldn't have the opportunity to exonerate himself without fear of losing his livelihood forever. I don't worry that men like Jones or Vick will not receive enough punishment, especially not that they deserve Goodell's condemnation. Because in life, what goes around comes around. And when Goodell sleeps easy at night, he should know the same applies to the crooked warden.

Better Late Than Never

Some people have decided to help themselves.

Michael Vick has fired one of the attorneys who has been representing him concerning federal dogfighting charges. Recently filed court records reveal that Daniel Meachum is no longer representing Vick. Mr. Meachum is an attorney from Atlanta. Vick's attorneys from Washington, DC and Virginia remain on the payroll. There has been no additional comment from the Vick camp, so one can only imagine why Meachum was sacked. Maybe he was the weakest link. Maybe Vick is just cutting costs. Still, it can only be heralded as a positive step that Vick is tweaking his team of advisers. Vick has to date compounded the disaster of dogfighting with the mismanagement of his public image, finances and career. Not only are there less cooks in the kitchen as far as Michael's legal team goes, here's hoping the remaining advisers demonstrate an improved ability to counsel Vick through his mess.

And some people are getting help from others.

Gene Upshaw has finally decided to do some work. The NFLPA has decided to appeal the NFL's decision to not grant early reinstatement to Adam "Pacman" Jones. The NFLPA should have protested when the NFL suspended Jones for nebulous reasons 9 games ago. Now they're stuck in the difficult position of backtracking after they've allowed precedent to be set. The NFLPA has not given any specific reason for the sudden interest in Jones. Perhaps Upshaw has recently become familiar with the definition of a union. Maybe he has figured out that the defense of a union member should not be selective or slow. Union members should be defended vigorously and unconditionally by their representatives - whether or not they make it rain. Apparently the union now thinks Jones' punishment is excessive. Pity they didn't foresee this months ago.

Both the scourges of the NFL are getting help with their situations. The holidays must be near.

State of the Falcons - Week 9

Actually, I have little idea what went on with the Falcons this week. The Falcons were blacked out this weekend. They couldn't move a paltry 3000 tickets before the deadline and didn't even bother to request an extension from the NFL. And the current Falcoons media guide "claims" to have a season ticket waiting list of over 90,000 people. The lies.

I heard we won 20-16. Warrick Dunn played like it was 2004 and rushed for 100 yards. DeAngela Hall keeps playing for free agency and caught an interception. Then he had the nerve to toss the intercepted ball to Falcons owner Arthur Blank. Punk.

So that's all I know about what's going on with the Falcons this week. I was mercifully watching the "A" game for once. It's been a long time Joe Buck and I have spent a Sunday afternoon together. I've missed him.

Pitiful 4 point win over the stinky 49ers or not, I still maintain that Michael Vick was the best quarterback in the world. No, I'm not just saying that out of romantic revisionist wistfulness. It's true.

And what's Vick been up to? Just life, man. The big bad Wachovia called in the loan on the restaurant and wine store he just opened up in south Atlanta. If you don't live in Atlanta, let me tell you that it is the bourgeois Black man's dream to be at the Camp Creek Marketplace. The failure of that business has to cut deep. Michael is also trying to sell his $6 million home in Atlanta. And I heard that he recently had a new baby, but his baby mama decided to dump him. The brother can not catch a break. It's been hectic for Mike.

Looking back, I can't remember a single misthrown pass, a single interception, a single bad scramble, a single injury or any bad decisions at all on Michael Vick's part. He was perfect. Now he's gone. Halfway through the season, my memory hasn't faded.

Will You Accept a Post Dated Check, Sir?

$20 mil, Mr. Blank? Sure thing. Just let Mike unscrew the bottom of his Aquafina bottle and he'll pull it out for you right away

I seriously doubt Michael Vick has $20 million to spare, but if he is forced to repay that kind of money to the Atlanta Falcons, he will hover like a curse over the NFL for a long time. Anyway, the Falcons shouldn't be trusted with that kind of money. They might spend it on free agents. Expensive, worthless free agents like Peerless Price or Ed Hartwell.

If NFL teams are granted the ability to demand repayment of bonuses to such an extent, expect a chill on the inducement power of the signing bonus. Jamarcus Russell length holdouts will become more normal. He got his money, but the Raiders lost the ability to choose whether or not their coveted #1 pick would start this season. Teams will lose the salary cap flexibility when dealing with coveted players who prefer to eschew the risk of potentially having to give their money back. Steve Wyche of the AJC elaborates:

The ramifications of this case could be profound, which is why the players' union immediately drew up papers to file an appeal of Burbank's decision. Should the Falcons ultimately win this case, teams throughout the league could make use the same argument to recoup bonus money paid to players found to have violated terms of their contract.

Still, Vick's professional team is getting the sideways glance. Things continue to go so badly for Michael Vick on a seemingly daily basis, one has to wonder whether he would have been better off facing a jury of his peers. What more would he have lost, even if he was found guilty? The downside of the guilty plea was that various third parties now have a negative factual basis to rely on. It increasingly seems apparent that there was no coordination amongst Vick's professional team. No one has stepped up to simultaneously manage Vick's freedom, image, finances and professional prospects. They have a copy of the contract. If a $20 million judgment was a foreseeable risk, they should have worked out a private settlement with the Falcons. If the guilty plea was going to collapse the rest of Vick's life like a house of cards, maybe Michael should have gone to trial.

Michael Vick has lost so much. Too much for the crime he committed. Someone needs to show him some mercy. Maybe that person could be the commissioner who could expedite Vick's return to the league so that Vick can get started on that payment plan.

State of the Falcons - Week 5

Guess we know who spent their bye week at the strip club (cough, Vince!). The Titans looked lethargic and lackadaisical like they wanted the Falcons to win. Still, the Falcons lost! There are not enough Titans turnovers in the day apparently.

The Falcons tried their crazy best. They faked a punt. DeAngela Hall played like he was a free agent. He intercepted for a TD and almost intercepted another pass.

But the Falcons got in their own way, of course. Offensive lineman Wayne Gandy was hurt and is likely out for the season.

And then there was the inexplicable introduction of Byron Leftwich.

Joey looked so sad on the sidelines when he was suddenly replaced at the start of the fourth quarter. "Any time you get pulled it's frustrating," he said. "It's not something you enjoy."

"I want to be this team's starter, but if Coach makes the decision the other way, I'm going to support this team," said Harrington. "I've been through worse before."

Today, Coach Petrino confirmed that Harrington will remain the starting quarterback for now.

Joey may have been replaced during the game because he threw an interception to Vincent Fuller that was returned for a touchdown. Why the panic? Like this was the first time Joey had ever thrown for a touchdown... I thought we were treated for this. If Joey Harrington interceptions are herpes, game strategery should be the Valtrex that doesn't cure, but prevents flare ups.

Still, Byron Leftwich looked ecstatic beyond belief when he got into the game.. I think he was dancing when he came up to the line of scrimmage. Do you know what was funny about Leftwich getting the call? He hasn't taken a single practice snap with the first team offense. I find that to be HILARIOUS! Leftwich said:

"That was the first time I was in there with the first-team offense with the Atlanta Falcons, ever, and it was great to be out there. You would love to hopefully have that week to prepare to go out and play, but we'll see. Hopefully, I can get out there and play some football. I'd be lying to you if I said I didn't want to play some football."

So now the Falcons have a full blown quarterback controversy.

And now the veteran players hate the offensive genius Bobby Petrino. DeAngela Hall is the head chick in charge. Apparently his coach hating cooties have infected the room. Alge Crumpler suggested an “agenda” that is minimizing the roles of veterans in the offense, while increasing the roles of younger players to prepare them for the future.

Eh... Save your complaints. They'll be plenty more to be unhappy about as the season continues.

There would be no quarterback controversy if Michael Vick wasn't headed to the pokey. He was the best quarterback in the world. No, I'm not just saying that out of romantic revisionist wistfulness. It's true.

Michael Vick is chaperoning the local high school homecoming dance this week. Everything went fine, although he's not sure why so many kids asked him where to score weed. How the fuck is he supposed.. Oh... Damn bracelet. It's a dead giveaway. Some of the kids weren't so nice. Some knuckleheads had a lot of woof woof dead dog jokes. A couple of them had to be popped upside the head. "I'm still fast, little muthafucka. Don't write checks your ass can't cash", Vick was forced to yell more than once as he rapped an alternative school punk across the back of the head more than once. No biggie, though. The kids soulja boyed to their hearts content and Vick was able to serve some community service before his curfew.

Looking back, I can't remember a single misthrown pass, a single interception, a single bad scramble, a single injury or any bad decisions at all on Michael Vick's part. He was perfect. Now he's gone. See you on Monday night.

The Dogs Live and Ookie Learns to Love

The pit bulls seized from Michael Vick's Virginia home have been evaluated and all but one are suitable for placement. That's great news. I hope some of the people who have been buying notes and t-shirts and chew toys have enough resources left over to help find suitable homes for the dogs in question. Especially since they love animals more than the rest of us.

But you know what's funny about the results of the dog evaluation? From an evidentiary standpoint, finding that the dogs are docile enough to be placed would directly contradict the position that the dogs were programmed to fight. Anyhoo, it's neither here nor there. Vick has already plead out. It's funny though.

And, furthermore, Michael Vick has been visiting the PETA headquarters in Norfolk, VA and has been taking classes on how to love animals more. And PETA says he has been doing great! They say Vick was attentive and inquisitive during the 8 hour course.

“He was asking questions, following up on points we were making, taking notes,” [Dan] Shannon said. “He seemed to be putting an honest effort into trying to get something out of the course.”

Shannon said Vick told him “he wished he had gotten to take a course like this five years ago.”

Yeah, that and a herpes slash weed addiction prevention course.

In total, Vick visited the PETA headquarters three times, the final of which included a test on what Vick learned in his course. PETA declined to reveal Michael's score, but revealed that the test included an essay and long answer questions.

Yes, Ookie wrote an essay on his revised love for dogs. I wonder if he will turn it in to the Commissioner for extra credit.

State of the Falcons

Well, the day came. I was invited to the Falcons game and I responded with an enthusiastic, "Ehhhhh..." Oh, well. Just my luck. I missed the first win of the season. I saw it on TV though. And in standard definition, no less. Don't ever say I'm not a true fan. CBS didn't care enough to send the fancy cameras to the Dome. But I watched anyway. I may have permanent optical damage from the indignity of viewing a game in non high definition.

I'm sure Matt Schaub didn't sign up for the indignity of losing to Joey Harrington. But that's what he got. And I'm sure he barely recognized his former teammate Michael Jenkins who caught two touchdown passes. And the Roddy White who can suddenly catch diagonal passes thrown in cross routes when he dropped so many passes thrown straight to the numbers in seasons past. Now the Falcons have receivers? Great. And Joey Harrington continues to pretend like he can play quarterback. This was predictable. Soon as Byron got to town, Joey plays well enough to stall Leftwich's inevitable start.

But who has time to focus on wins or positive progress when the nation is tuned into The Passion of DeAngela. DeAngela Hall does not get along with the offensive genius, Coach Bobby Petrino. Hall feels their relationship soured when he refused to play special teams or offense. Or maybe when Petrino refused a ride in his Lamborghini. The AJC claims former head coach Mora used to partake.

When asked if he thought he could play for Petrino long term, Hall said:

“Some things would have to change, obviously. Like you said, some guys are made for college. Some guys are made for the NFL. If he wants respect given to him, he must give respect back.”

Yahoo! reported that DeAngela wants to be traded, but the AJC dismissed that as an "internet rumor." Whatever. DeAngela is a decent corner. Just not as good as he thinks.

The Falcons got the day off on Monday. Just for going 1 and 3.

One win or not, Michael Vick, was the best quarterback in the world. No, I'm not just saying that out of romantic revisionist wistfulness. It's true.

Michael Vick is laying low this week. He is filled with shame that you people found out he lit a doobie to cope with things. And he's decorating his electronic monitoring bracelet. Hearts and butterflies mostly. Just takes a little nail polish. Don't hate. Bracelets are hot right now. Lindsey Lohan. Tracy Morgan. Eve. Everybody's sporting a bracelet this season. Vick is just being trendy.

Looking back, I can't remember a single misthrown pass, a single interception, a single bad scramble, a single injury or any bad decisions at all on Michael Vick's part. He was perfect. Now he's gone. You won't last, Joey.

Well, Did You Send Him a Care Package?

If there was anything I learned from the ESPN town hall meeting on Michael Vick, it was that we're all enablers. The team. The media. The fans. We all did our part to steer Michael toward the predicament he finds himself in.

So when I heard Michael Vick had tested positive for marijuana use by the federal courts, I blamed myself. What healthy choices was I enabling Michael Vick to make? Was I offering him chocolate milk instead of soda? Little Dannon yogurts instead of fries? Did I say, "Mike, have these apple slices with caramel dip instead of weed." No, I did not. So when I heard that Mike had turned to the cheeba, I was not surprised. What the fuck else is he supposed to do? His life is falling apart! He has no means to unwind. Can he turn on ESPN like the average sports fan to escape his life problems? Uh, no. He is on blast. He is getting mental health care according to the court paperwork. He is sad, alone and depressed. Even if I had some on hand, carrot sticks might not make the pain go away like a blunt.

So, Mike, you still gotta do what needs to be done to stay out of trouble. You've lived in the A long enough. Install your stripper poles at home. Stock up on your liquor on Saturdays. Keep it legal. Keep it in the subdivision. Stop smoking. Drink, instead! It's not against the law and, if it worked for Brett Favre, it can work for you. Good luck, Mike. And I'll have celery sticks with ranch dressing (no wings, cuz you're a bad boy) on hand next time you come around.

The Vick Divide. If You Say So.

ESPN, unifying force that they are, held a town meeting in Atlanta on issues surrounding Michael Vick's treatment by the legal system and the media.

First some notes about the panel:

Terrence Mathis: Former Vick teammate. Clearly playing the role of the friend and Christian. Well received by the crowd.

Neil Boortz: Conservative local radio talk show host. Had enough sense to stay quiet for most of the show, lest his Lexus get keyed in the parking lot.

Terence Moore: AJC Columnist. Booed at introduction. Why? Because he hates the Falcons and everybody in Atlanta knows it. For years, he has seen everything about that team as "half empty."

Selena Roberts: NY Times Columnist. The yankee became a crowd favorite for her intellectual neutrality. And, yes it's weird that a White female from up top resonated the most with the crowd just by being intelligent and balanced in her statements. The other panelists could barely manage so much.

Chuck Smith: Former Falcon. Used to be a midday sports talk host at 790 the Zone. (BTW, the show has sucked ever since he left.) Booed by the crowd several times. Probably because he is much better explaining himself when he has four hours to kill. He did not do well explaining himself in the soundbite format.

The town hall wasn't terrible, but ESPN is playing the race card. The audience was overwhelmingly Black, pro-Vick and many were wearing 7 jersey and "Free Vick" shirts. Atlanta is Black, but it ain't THAT Black. People of all different races and backgrounds and cultures have all different opinions on Vick. ESPN could have worked harder to cull a more representative audience. The Associate Press claimed that ESPN handlers were still rustling people to join the audience while the event was in progress. There was a smattering of White people there, but one group they kept focusing on looked like Kip and his girlfriend Buffy. I swear he had sunglasses on his head and a sweater tied around his shoulders. If they had a Black guy with a shower cap on, it would hae been a perfect set.

ESPN is determined to insist that The Vick divide is based solely on race. That is not true. I have written about that before. And speaking of Wright Thompson, he was an invited guest of the panel. He elaborated on the article he wrote a while back on ESPN. He clarified that people in the south have a "world view" based on history and experience. I much prefer the term "world view" instead of "race card".

So ESPN is playing the world view card.

They would be better off paying attention to one of their SportsNation polls. Race is a factor oftentimes, but it's not 100 percent of the issue all the time. I don't know why that nuance can't be grasped by many entities. One of the polls featured on the show said 22 percent of the people who felt Vick had been treated unfairly felt race was the issue. That's a much more realistic proportion of the reason for the piling on than scapegoating 100% of the people of Atlanta with the world view card.

ESPN hosted the event but failed to directly address ESPN's piling on. That's quite disingenuous of the worldwide leader. I, for one, had to literally stop watching several ESPN programs for a couple of weeks because the coverage on Vick was so excessive and negative. ESPN was relentless. It didn't matter if it was anybody's favorite player, your favorite team or even if it was because I had a certain world view. ESPN couldn't help but pound the story into the ground. Which is exactly why they held a 90 minute town hall program weeks after most of the public was completely exhausted from it. They could barely find people off the street to fill the auditorium. Only a few hundred people constituted the audience in an auditorium in the local convention center.

So, in the end, panelists assembled. Audience members asked questions. One particularly interesting one was about the difference in how Michael Vick and Bill Belichick have been treated. Vick is a face of the league. Belichick and the Patriots are a face of the league. One is in present exile. One is just another asshole who gets to prove his greatness on the field despite his transgressions. I hope Vick gets to be just another asshole who ultimately gets to redeem himself on the field.

But that could just be my world view talking.

State of the Falcons

Welcome to Atlanta, Byron Leftwich. I really have been remiss in formally welcoming you on this blog. Frankly, I'm so bitter about the Falcons I can't see straight. Anyway, hey. Don't forget to open doors for ladies, wait for ladies to get off elevators first and drink Coke, never Pepsi.

But you see what kind of mess you've got into, Byron?

The Falcons are terrible. We lost to the Carolina Panthers in the home opener that only featured about 70% occupancy. (B, can you save us from blackouts next year?) The media blames DeAngela Hall. Hooray, the nickname is out of retirement! But I think the media is being unfair to DeAngela. DeAngela is not responsible for the Falcons loss. Because, the odds are, the Falcons were going to lose anyway. And what kind of ship is Petrino where a player feels like he can scream on the head coach and assistant coaches on the sideline? DeAngela was out of control well before the 67th yard of penalty. If Petrino was paying attention, the coach might have pulled him before hand. But I guess he's been too busy being a offensive genius.

But I have sympathy for DeAngela. Youngsters often lash out when their quarterback figures are absent from the Dome. DeAngela misses Michael Vick. Whether DeAngela is fined and/or suspension, he just needs understanding.

The real number 7, Michael Vick (no, not you, B-Money), was the best quarterback in the world. No, I'm not just saying that out of romantic revisionist wistfulness. It's true.

Michael Vick isn't doing much this week, except stressing over a local indictment. Well, not really stressing. He's finding new ways to relax. In his down time, he's been getting mani pedis to unwind and destress. When you haven't been putting the football wear and tear on the footsies, regular pedicures do wonders. Plus, those massage chairs are fucking awesome. Michael has been experimenting with toe color. Black toe polish is de rigeur for men who are willing to try such things, but a little color never hurt anybody. Mike is just experimenting with one of those Chanel deep reds. Yeah, dark colors chip alot, but a polish change is just another excuse to get in those massage chairs. They are fucking awesome. And who will know? Michael used to be worried about what his friends thought. But friends snitch. A good mani pedi is a little over $30, but the joy of staring at pretty toes before you fall asleep is priceless.

Looking back, I can't remember a single misthrown pass, a single interception, a single bad scramble, a single injury or any bad decisions at all on Michael Vick's part. He was perfect. Now he's gone. Good luck with that, Byron. See you soon!

State of the Falcons (Still Holding On To the Past)

The Falcons are very, very bad. The offensive genius Coach Petrino has amassed a total of 10 points for the season. Joey Harrington still can't read the defenses and holds the ball for an eternity. He got sacked 7 times for his trouble. That's the only stat he improved on from last week. Well, actually 7 sacks instead of 6 is not technically an improvement. In the end, we lost 13-7 to the Jacksonville Jaguars.

And our trip to Jacksonville comes full circle as it was announced today that the Falcons signed former Jaguars quarterback Byron Leftwich to a two year deal. Leftwich is better than Harrington, but he is merely a faux number 7.

The real number 7, Michael Vick, was the best quarterback in the world. No, I'm not just saying that out of romantic revisionist wistfulness. It's true. Now, our real quarterback is sitting on his ass making an audition tape for I Love New York 2.

It's not easy to get on reality TV, especially a show as classy as I Love New York.
But Mike is desperate for a woman to hold him down. If he had a, ahem, passionate woman such as Tiffany a/k/a New York, Mike might not have found himself involved in that dogfighting mess. But it won't be easy to get to a pearl like New York. You've got to be a "character". You've got to have a catch phrase. You've got to emulate the greats like Pumkin. You've got to spit. You've got to overdramatize. Mike is committed to making his mark on celebreality.

"You're a whore. Peace!"

No, Mike thought. You've got to put a little bit of umph in it.

"YOU'RE a whore. Peace!"

"You're a WHORE. Peace!"

"You're a whore. PEACE!"

Aw, shit. Too much talk about "peace" makes Mike think of that mofo Purnell who snitched on him. But Mike is determined to do something positive with his downtime. He doesn't care that there's a midget in the cast. He'll hurl that runt out of the house almost as fast as Mike scrambled out of the pocket in the Georgia Dome.

Looking back, I can't remember a single misthrown pass, a single interception, a single bad scramble, a single injury or any bad decisions at all on Michael Vick's part. He was perfect. Now he's gone. We had Eminem. Now we've got Vanilla Ice.

No, this is not a tall tale. It's just a sad story about the state of the Falcons.

State of the Falcons (Extra Salty Version)

"The good life. It feel like Atlanta..."

Wait a minute, DJ. Bring that back.

Ain't shit good in Atlanta right now. The Falcons are worse than expected. The offensive genius Coach Petrino called for a bunch of short passes and put up 3 points. Joey Harrington was perfectly symmetrical by throwing for two picks that were returned for exactly two touchdowns by the Vikings. He also blew timeouts because he couldn't call a play based on the defense. The Falcons didn't see the redzone. Harrington got sacked 6 times. Shall I go on? 24-3. I think that sums things up. Adrian Peterson and the Vikings' defense looks good. But, then again, they were just playing the Falcons.

Michael Vick was the best quarterback in the world. No, I'm not just saying that out of romantic revisionist wistfulness. It's true. Now, our real quarterback is sitting on his ass ghostwriting for Kanye West.

The good life.
It feel like Atlanta
It feel like LA
It feel like Miami
It feel like N.Y., summertime Chi, ahh
(Now throw your hands up in the sky)
So I roll through good
Y'all pop the trunk, I pop the hood, Ferrari
And she got the goods
And she got that ass, I got to look, sorry
Yo it's got to be cause I'm seasoned
Haters give me them salty looks, Lawry's
50 told me go 'head switch the style up
And if they hate then let 'em hate
And watch the money pile up, the good life

"Yeah, run that, Kanye", Mike tells him after he scribbles it on his Omni Hotel stationery. "They'll have their hands in the air in the club like they do when I scramble in the Dome."

Mike is so industrious. When he's not selling season tickets, he's selling albums.

"Good luck, Ye. You might be able to beat 50 like I beat Favre. Make history, baby."

Ahh... he used to be mine.

Looking back, I can't remember a single misthrown pass, a single interception, a single bad scramble, a single injury or any bad decisions at all on Michael Vick's part. He was perfect. Now he's gone. We had Michael Corleone. Now we've got Fredo.

No, this is not a tall tale. It's just a sad story about the state of the Falcons.

Joe Horn Copes The Best Way He Knows How

I guess Joe Horn is seeing his career flash before his eyes. Thus, he's resorted to clicking the heels of Michael Vick's cleats three times so that he can go home to the team he thought he signed with in the offseason.

In the above video clip, Falcons wide receiver Joe Horn confesses to wearing Michael Vick's cleats during the game in remembrance of his dog fighting buddy.

As much as I appreciate Horn's loyalty to his friend, I have to wonder what kind of operation Joey Harrington is running. What kind of leader inspires his teammates to hold on to the memory of the last guy that had the job? Is there a bounty on Mike's game worn laundry? Are Alge Crumpler and Warrick Dunn concealing number 7 jerseys and old sweatbands under their uniforms in hopes of conjuring up some magic to get them back to the Pro Bowl?

Joe Horn even went so far as to confront Joey and let him kow upfront that he was wearing Vick's cleats telling him, "If you had some Joey Harrington shoes, I would wear yours too." And that would be Exhibit A in the art of giving a backhanded compliment.

Hold on to the past, Joe. Right now, it's all the Falcons have.

Why So Negative?

If Terrell Owens talks, why does the lead always have to be so half empty, so "controversial?" My blog friend, Larry Brown Sports, picked up a Q&A in Time Magazine where Owens answered a variety of questions from readers.

When asked about what quarterback he would ideally want to play with, Terrell said:

Man, that’s a tricky question. I don’t want to cause trouble … O.K., I would say Peyton Manning, then Donovan McNabb. Peyton has history on his side, with his dad being a quarterback, and you can’t say enough about how studious he is in the film room.

Terrell is just stating the obvious. And he's being honest, which is what makes Owens interesting in the first place. Did anyone pick Tony Romo first for their fantasy team? Anyone? Anyone? I didn't think so. I suspect Antonio doesn't even play himself in Madden.

The next predictable "lead" was Owens' comments on Donovan McNabb. It can't be a T.O. interview without a question about Donovan.

You know what? I do regret some of the things that happened. Donovan is a great guy. Honestly, I do miss being around him. I learned some things from Donovan. It was a bad situation, and if there were a way I could go back and handle some things differently, I definitely would.

This statement is not only mature, but surprisingly effusive. Why no headlines proclaiming reconciliation between two greats of the game? Owens has indicated that he engaged in some trial and error in the Philly situation, but it's been a long time since we've heard, "Donovan is a great guy." What is it? The memories? Life experience? Personal developments between the two? Empathy for a man recovering from injury and basically fighting for his job. The comment was very genuine and, arguably, a better lead than the quarterback "controversy."

And the interview was otherwise interesting.

Terrell even served up the lead du juor - "so and so athlete said something about Michael Vick."

Hmm. That's a very touchy subject. He's done the right thing by accepting the plea. He realizes that he has to be accountable for what he has done. We all make mistakes--and I'm sure he will grow from it. Everyone deserves a second chance. We're all human. That's what the world has really lost sight of.

How about T.O.'s views on the presidential race? You hardly ever hear athletes express political opinions anymore. When asked if Barack Obama was "Black" enough for his vote, Terrell said:

You know what? It doesn't matter what color the person is. May the best person win. Whoever does the best job, then that's who I'm for. But Obama is making a lot of the right moves.

Owens also answered questions about his self-absorption, Kim Etheredge and the Cowboys' Superbowl prospects. However, my favorite part of the interview was when Terrell revealed his inner soccer mom and how he likes to unwind watching TV.

I'm going to mention two shows. The first is America's Next Top Model. I just like to see how people interact--women can be catty once they're together. And my other favorite is the channel HGTV. I like to do my own decorating. No, I don't have a garden.

And I thought T.O. spent all his free time in his hyberbaric chamber. This is real news! I would tell Terrell that ANTM is played out and that "The Hills" is far superior for instruction in cattiness. And HGTV is awesome, especially in HD. If Owens enjoys a glass of chardonnay, he would fit in any suburb in America. T.O. is relatable. See, that's news.

In Praise of the Prosecution

The United States Attorneys that prosecuted Michael Vick are named Mike Gill and Brian Whisler.

I bet you didn't know that. And that's a good thing.

There were no press conferences on the courthouse steps. There was no tour of the cable news circuit. There was no hardball. These two men did their job. A law was on the books and they prosecuted. Mr. Gill and Mr. Whisler did not try to make a "name" for themselves. They did not pile on.

When the media proclaimed loudly that Michael Vick would get the worst deal because he was the last to plea, the prosecutors proved them wrong. Vick got the same or better resolution than the other defendants. And rightfully so. Vick is a first time offender. And hardly a menace to society. There is little benefit to society in wasting a prison bed on him.

Sure, maybe this case caught the government's eye because Michael Vick is a celebrity. Maybe they projected a win in the court of public opinion when the target was a young Black man. But they didn't abuse those advantages. Instead, they leveraged speed of investigation, the success rate of federal prosecutions and the inherent power of an interstate conspiracy charge.

And all of the defendants in the Vick case benefited from that professionalism. And society benefited. There is no need to lock dog fighting participants up for the maximum sentence just for the sake of doing it. That's a prison bed that a murderer or a rapist could be residing in. Animal cruelty, dog fighting, etc. have become law enforcement priorities mostly because they are gateway crimes. People that engage in those activities have a propensity to be engaged in gambling and drug enterprises. And while society has compassion for animals, people that do harm to other people are the greatest danger.

It could have been worse. Vick could have gotten the maximum sentence. But why waste time and taxpayer money on prosecuting dog fighters when you can get the drug dealers, the money launderers and the other real scourges. If Vick has to snitch, so be it. He was snitched on first. There's no "code" if no one is adhering to it. If Vick's testimony and the testimony of the other defendants gets drug dealers and gambling kingpins off the streets, then I can be happy about that.

Every public lawyer is not a Mike Nifong. Many lawyers do their job with efficiency and professionalism. It tugs the heart strings to see another Black man end up as a statistic . But the United States prosecutors performed their jobs efficiently and professionally. As a lawyer, I have to give credit where credit is due.

Is Michael Vick Going to Jail?

When Billy Martin gave his statement on Monday, he referred to December 10 as the date of Michael Vick's "probation hearing". I thought it was another "spring training" slip of the tongue by Mr. Martin, but maybe not.

Circumstances suggest that Michael Vick's defense team is trying to get probation for Michael Vick. Seriously.

They have scheduled a half day of testimony on the day that the mainstream media is referring to as his sentencing date. Vick's lawyers cancelled his appearance on the Tom Joyner morning show yesterday, as if there was still the possibility that Vick could incriminate himself.

Don't take for granted everything the mainstream media is saying. Remember, back in the day, when they said Michael Vick wasn't going to be indicted? That wasn't true. Remember when they loudly proclaimed he was going to get the worst deal because he didn't plea first? That wasn't true. Even the other day, certain people were saying the acceptance of the plea was in jeopardy because the statement of facts. Apparently, the judge doesn't pay much attention to Lester Munson.

The media is downplaying the possibility that Michael Vick will be sentenced to probation or time in a halfway house. That is a reasonable stance, because the possibility of that outcome is definitely a long shot. However the defense is apparently gearing up for the uphill battle. Otherwise, they would have thrown themselves on the mercy of the court and tried to accelerate the sentencing date, so that Vick could enter and leave prison as soon as possible. Instead, the defense has suggested that they're going to take the three months or so to rehabilitate Michael Vick in the eyes of the court. Maybe that will include a media blitz. More than likely it will include some secret grand jury testimony.

The possibility of Michael Vick serving little to no jail time is a potential development to keep your eye on. The prosecution has already demonstrated that they're not in the business of insisting on maximum sentences just for the sake of doing so. The tone of the prosecution suggests that the prosecution may have bigger fish to fry and that, consequently, Vick may have a chance in seeking a light sentence. You never know how things will turn out.